Book- Misunderstood

Chapter 11

Alley stuck with me through middle school, and when I had gotten to highschool, she still remained around me. I laughed at times, realizing that her dorky appearance hadn't changed, and even then she didn't have many friends solely because of her appearance. I couldn't talk much though I realize now as I remained more scrawny and only grew taller, though my features becoming intimidating as it seemed I was strong, though I did rarely any work for bodily training. Alley, Of course, filled out, her breasts grew and her butt did as well, making her little more popular but her face and care for clothes remained the same. This didn't bother me very much as my mental state had remained decrepit and twisted from my early experiences but like all things in life, change was inevitable.I sat at the table in the morning, the large cafeteria empty as kids had yet to arrive in the morning, or simply because no one liked being at school as early as 7 A.M. I tended to be the first person there, but this morning particularly, there was a girl sitting alone at the table I usually sat at, a smile plastered on her face as she sat, shifting, her auburn hair combed straight, cut so the bangs hung more over her right eye than her left, her lips a soft red from what might've been gloss or fruit. Her eyes were hazel, composed of colors that to me were also quite beautiful as they complimented her look. She wore casual clothes despite her appearance, which didn't surprise me as most people paid more attention to the face of a person rather than the clothes they wore. I sat across from her, her face a little red as if she might have been hot or sick or something of embarrassment. I waited patiently for Alley, my eyes trailing many times to the door, honestly expecting her to do the usual and come to hug me. Then I heard a slam in front of me, turning quickly to the girl who stood now, her eyes seeming watered as if about to cry, the girl's face angry. I cocked an eyebrow as she stared at me, angry, as if I had done something to wrong her, until she spoke, her voice irritated."Aren't you going to say anything?!"My eyes went wide as I recognized the voice, I looked at the girl as the realization slowly began to set into me at who exactly sat with me for 20 minutes, simply waiting for me to input a comment."Alley....?"She smiled now as she heard the disbelief in my voice, knowing that her appearance had thrown me off to the point that I couldn't tell it was her. She ran a finger through her hair and twirled it, a coy smile spreading across her face as she spoke this time, an elegant ring to her tone."I did this all for you Mr. Jack.... why not claim your prize?"She placed her leg on the table and ran her hand along it, her pants pulling up a little only to fall again as her hand stopped at her knee and she just stared at me with her mouth slightly agape, smiling, waiting. I spoke without even the smallest hint of effect from what I had just seen from her, my voice completely neutral."What in god's name are you doing four eyes?"Her eyes widened as I saw anger flow through them and then she sat down quickly and hung her head in defeat at seeing there was no effect on me. I frowned a little, feeling that I might have made her a little too dejected since she obviously put more effort than I could ever hope to do into her personal look. I slowly chewed through words that flowed through my head as she looked down until I finally turned my eyes to the side and spoke, feeling severely out of place at words that felt nothing like what I would have usually said."You look good."Immediately, without hesitation, she looked up at me,her eyes lit in a hope that scared me, one that told me many things I dare not utter. I feared at that moment, just how hard girls work to actually look good for men or for the public. Even now in my age, I dared not go in Alley's bathroom, afraid of what horrors may lie inside. Alley slowly stood and ran around the table quickly, picking me up with strength I did not know she had until I stood before her. She then placed her arms around me quickly and hugged me, my head to her breasts, cushion, soft, comforting. It all felt weird. I could feel her smile as my insides turned over on themselves at the weird sensation of affection and spoke, genuinely frustrated."I hate you."I felt her smile grow wider as she squeezed me a little into her arms."I know."At this moment in my life, it may have been the first time that I stopped feeling so angry and actually felt rather calm, feeling my mind feel a sense of humanity given to it again. Though, my heart whispered the memories of all that had happened and darkness set in again for me. Soon I was let go of and the morning proceeded with Alley getting far more looks and attention from men, but always giving me the occasional glance and smile.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~After school, I felt my pocket begin to vibrate and slowly pulled free my phone, the voice of my mother reaching to my ears."Sweety, Jack, I've gotten you a therapist."I gave a confused look as I walked along the empty street, the trees above in the bright of spring, leaves falling gracefully to the ground as they twirled about me, the houses laying to both sides undisturbed, cars passing me with the occasional roar which became softer and softer until there was nothing. I spoke into the phone my concern at such a decision."Why did you get me a therapist?"I heard the huff of my mother, and she came with a strict tone which did nothing to stop me from my usual ways of treating her."Because theres something wrong with you and you don't want to admit it. You need help. I have some for you now.""You can't decide for me anything after the many times you left me alone since I was young, since you stole me away from dad. Why should I let you help?""Because I may be an awful mother, I may have.... left you alone.... but it doesn't mean I don't love you. I'm sorry Jack, please let me help you. I don't care about anyone else but you sweety..."I heard soft cracks in her voice as she spoke as if the words genuinely hurt her only to be followed by her beginning to cry, my eyes squinting a little as I could see well how she would have looked had I been next to her, phone next to her gilded hair, her eyes red, tears flowing down her cheeks which had lost their luster with age and stress, casual clothes around her, sitting at the glass covered table. I could even see the tear drops that landed on the glass which remained suspended there until they evaporated. The sight inside my imagination didn't effect me as I spoke back."When all this happened, when only I LOST something did you finally care. Why should I let you who abandoned me help?!"I almost yelled the words at her, losing the patience I had with my mother for the crime and sin she had committed to me, taking both my humanity and leaving me alone in a world I knew nothing of. Though, despite my hurtful accusations and words, she still spoke through her crying."Because... If I lost you.... I don't know... What I would do...."The phone suddenly went silent and I stared forward as I stopped walking. I slowly held the phone away from me and looked at it, seeing that my mother had hung up on me in her delirious crying. At that moment, I felt the soft humane side of me slowly reach into my mind and pull from the sea of rage, despair, pain, and loneliness, a single sentence that I had thought at that time when I became a monster, over the course of time I had been the way I was, so cold to people who simply wanted to help mend my wounds, to give me justice and the right treatment I had deserved after the pain that was incurred on me. One single sentence that burned bright over the darkness in my mind, so bright, that even my heart hurt a little.What had I done?