FEELINGS n' EMOTIONS ☆

21☆

Carmonie Love Brown- Monie
Pov

That's when everything came back to me in this morning.

4 years ago..

"Is it hot in here or is it just me. I'm so HIGH in here from smoking on dis weed."

I song as Sative by Jhene Aiko ft. Rae Sremmurd played on my radio.

I just got out of my cosmetology class.

I've been taking it since October now its December. I have a whole bunch of time to go, but I'm just so ready for the dream of having my own shop/salon.

They let us out of class early, so now I'm otw home to surprise Kaizer which is my boyfriend of 2 years almost 3 years.

I really love him even tho we've been through so much in our relationship n' friendship, I really can't leave him alone.

Call me dumb or stupid, but love makes people do crazy things n change their mindset of it.

As I pull up, I see an unfamiliar white Malibu in the driveway..

Lemme not think the worst of it cs it might just be one of his homeboys. I thought cs he wouldn't do me like dat... again... right??

Anyways I took my key out of the ignition. Grabbed my black checkered Louis Vuitton purse and my left over Starbucks caramel iced coffee.

I closed my door and walked towards the front door of the house.

I pulled my key out from my key chain and put it in as I'm turning the door knob I can't help but feel like something bout to go off.

Knowing me I don't really listen to my lady's intuition I have to see what's going for myself with my own two eyes.

I walk n go to the kitchen to throw away my trash from my car.

When I'm done with that I start to walk upstairs, but as I'm walking I could hear the bed frame hitting the wall.

"thump, thump, thu–"

I know dis nigga is not fucking a bitch in our bed... I thought.

Me being curious I put my ear towards the door n I hear mornings sounds.

"Uhh kaizer don't stop" a woman's voice says.

"You like dat h–" his moans got cut off by me opening up the door.

"REALLY kaizer" I say not even having tears anymore from his past infidelity.

They both quickly try to find sum to cover their bodies.

"C yk its not–" kaizer says walking up to me trying to reach out for me.

"Nigga it's not like what? I swear I'm so done wit yo dumbass bro n bitch GET THE FUCK OUT MY HOUSE." I yell just overly irriated bout everything not even giving the girl a second glance.

She quickly puts on her jeans n croptop, grabs her shoes n purse n leaves.

"Kaizer after EVRYTHING I do n did for yo ass, you go n fuck on bitches again?" I say slightly yelling pushing on him.

"Carmonie STOP putting yo hands on me yo. You slick getting me mad bra." He says walking on the otherside of the room.

"nigga I'm so sick of yo shit, I'm really just finna say fuck it n leave yo trifling ass." I say about to go to the dresser n pull out my clothes.

"You ain't going no where, I don't know what you thought this was." Kaizer quickly grabs onto my neck n pushes me into the wall.

"BROO MOVE DAMN" I start yelling in his face so he'll let me go.

He adds a little bit of pressure onto my neck.

"Kai I–I c–can't b–breath." I say stumbling over my words trying to claw his hand from around my neck.

"Nah cs why you tryna leave me yk ain't nobody gone love you like I do." He says while I look into his now dark eyes trying not to seem too scared at the moment.

"N–nobody just please let me go." I say as tears brim in my eyes threatening to fall.

He let's go of my neck as I stumble back onto the wall trying to get my balance.

I just know dis nigga left a mark on my shit.

"Yea you know better now go clean yo ass up." He states walking out of our room.

Well atleast he hasnt hit me today. I really can't take dis shit anymore. With him constantly being physically abusive n so manipulative.

He so used to me just going on along with him doing down bad with me, but this ain't it.

I honestly had enough of everything, like I'm so drained from the world n dis relationship I don't know what to do.

I knew i should've listened to my mama about dis man, but I didn't n wanted to explore things on my own.

I walked towards our shared bathroom and look at myself in the mirror.

I analyze my red puffy eyes to the red hand mark around my neck.

I closed the door to the bathroom n locked it. I walk towards my side n pull out a razor.

I promised myself I wasn't going to do it anymore, but it's like want else could I do to release the pain and anger built up.

I start to slowly cut into my wrist.

As I hist at the feeling I quickly rinse it off feeling the burning sensation addicted to the feeling, as I cover it up with a paper towel.

I take a quick look in the mirror before thinking.

This is my last time feeling like shit n living like shit. I need to make a change
n' if having to sneak out dis house n leave dis niggas where he at. Den dats what imma have to do.

《|'•                                                    •'|》
Thoughts??

I knew dis shouldve prolly been the prolougue but its all good. Hope you enojoy n thanks for reading. Bye bitches :)).
- milanoo