" That's not fair and you know it," He gritted, " You're not the only one who blames themselves for his death."
" He's dead because of me, Exodus!" I yelled before I could even stop myself, " It should've been me laying in the fucking casket, not...
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Now Playing... Expanse, by Vraell ... MONTREAL,CANADA
" HOLD ON, THIS JUST HAPPENED TODAY?! As in he did that to you-"
" in the kitchen at that,"
" Yes," I blushed, hiding my face deep within the pillow I hugged close to my chest. I let out a shaky sigh, glancing between Nneka and Medjine whose expressions were filled with utter bewilderment.
" Well," Nneka clears her throat, taking a long sip from her water. " I was not expecting that."
" I'm still trying to process everything," Medjine admits, blowing out a breath as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. We sat on the floor, all of us sprawled out comfortably as soft music played in the background of our conversation.
After what happened in the kitchen, and me still trying to process the amazing orgasm I had, I needed to talk to them. to make sense of all this when it clearly does make sense to a degree. But I'm overthinker. I overanalyze and try to find errors in even the tiniest things. My friends are probably the only ones who understand me-- including Ms. Tanya, as well.
We were in the movie room, where a large seventy inch tv screen was bolted to the wall, along with led lights stringing underneath the perimeter of the screen. The maroon love seats were alined in rows, with each chair having individual blankets, pillows, and box of candies sitting on top of the fabric. But as soon as we entered inside the room, I spilled everything.
From the beginning of our conversation, to the way that he looked at me, touched me, and pleased me. It happened, and yet it still feels like a distant dream swimming across the forefront of my subconscious; capturing me in such a dazzling yet seductive way possible.
Though Exodus made it crystal clear that he only wanted me, I was apprehensive. did he only do that because he wanted to? did he just want me in that vulnerable position where my body and mind surrendered to only him? Is there a deeper motive to his intentions with me? Did he even see me in that way? i couldn't understand, even if I tried.
" Wait," Medjine begins after much thought, " If he said he wants you, why hasn't he asked you to be his girlfriend?"
I didn't even think about that. I frown, her words sinking into my brain. " I don't know,"
Nneka furrowed her brows, then softens her expression when she sees my face. " Exodus doesn't give off the impression of having ill intentions, but I think that there also has to be some kind of understanding as to what he wants with you. Whether that may be a physical or emotional kind of relationship,"
" I'm not overthinking this, am I? I mean, shouldn't I ask him what he wants with me?" I inquired, nibbling at the inside of my cheek. i run my fingers over the other, trying my best not to pick at my nails. " I mean yes he said he wants me, but that doesn't help me understand what exactly he does want, if that makes any sense."
