~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟎𝟏. Alone

1680 words
T.W. mention of self harm, crying, slight fat shaming, swearing, fluff.

Matt is sitting in the kitchen at 2AM he's really tired but can't sleep. Matt feels really alone. Chris and Nick can't stop making fun of him and he's getting exhausted. They don't seem to care about him anymore and Matt hates it. He just wants to be loved like he was before. Matt couldn't understand what he'd done wrong. He was trying his best, he really was. But with every thing he did he was getting exhausted.

He knows that his depression is slowly coming back, but breaking it to his brothers isn't an option. They'll just tell him to not be a baby and get over himself. He's not even welcome to sleep in their brother's bed anymore. Nick and Chris sleep together now every night, while he cries himself to sleep, hugging his pillow imagining it's Nick or Chris.

They don't notice. They don't have a single clue, and if they would, they'd probably won't even care.

Right?

He flinches at someone hitting his back. "Hey fattass! Why are you up?" He hears Chris say in an annoyed tone. "Couldn't sleep." Matt says, trying to hide the tears in his eyes.

"Well we're filming a podcast so get your lazy ass up!"

Matt sighs and stands up. The funny thing is that Matt hasn't been eating for four days because of his brother's comments and he still gets called fat. "I guess that's proof that I'm never good enough." Matt thinks while brushing a few tears off his cheeks with his sleeve.

40 minutes into the podcast.

Matt is ranting about random stuff, which is great because he has a lot to talk about since he almost never speaks to his brothers outside of making content. But then Chris interrupts him again, this time with an incredibly rude comment which he knows Matt has despised since it was first called out.

"Matt, you're such a pick me!"

It stays quiet for a few seconds before Chris and Nick burst out in laughter.

How mean could you be?

Matt looks at his two triplet brothers. Then, he gets up.

He says nothing and gets up.
Matt climbs over the table and walks to the kitchen. Tears already streaming down his face. "Matt what the fuck? You can't just leave the podcast!" He hears Nick yell.

"No im not doing this anymore, do it without me!" Matt answers.
His breathing starts to go faster. A wave of dizziness welcomes Matt. He stumbles but quickly grabs the kitchen table. He stands there for a second, tears streaming down his face.

Then he feels a pair of gentle hands grab his shoulders. It's Nick.

"Matt, are you okay?"

Matt's eyes shoot up at that question. He looks at his brother shocked. With a quick movement he gets Nick off him. And walks back a little. Chris has entered now too.

"No" Matt says. His voice shaky. Anger starts to flow through his body. "No what?"

"Don't you go fucking pretend like you care now! I know you don't!" Matt says. Nick notices Matt starting to rub his chest harshly. He always does that when he's anxious or angry. Nick starts to walk forward to Matt but he abruptly gets pushed back. Almost falling but Chris catches him just in time.

"Matt what the fuck!"
Chris exclaims.

"No! No- I- I didn't even do anything fucking wrong and you know that!" Matt looks Chris in the eyes before looking at Nick. They look confused.

"Of course they do" Matt thinks. They think they didn't do anything, they think we're just joking around.

"Matt kid tell us what the fuck we did wrong because i can't even point my fucking finger on it!"