~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟐𝟖. 𝖨 𝖶𝖮𝖭𝖳 𝖫𝖤𝖳 𝖦𝖮 𝖮𝖥 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖡𝖫𝖠𝖣𝖤

Yeah.. u thought the angst ended there?

T.W. blood, crying, self harm.

"Hey Nick?" Chris looks at his brother sitting in the passenger seat. "Do you think something's up with Matt?" Nick looks confused at the question. "Why?" He asks. "He's been acting weird, having nightmares again, and last week he told me he wanted a hug and then flinched away when I touched him." Nick's gaze turns into worry immediately. "I've been trying to give him space because he flinches at me all the time but he won't tell me why." Nick says with suspicion in his voice.

At that moment Chris pulls up in their driveway. "Oh.." Chris brings out. They both open the door and start to walk inside. "Well should we talk to him?" Chris asks when they walk into the kitchen. He looks up to see Nick zoned out and concentrating on something. "Nick?" He says but gets cut off by Nick holding a hand up, signaling for Chris to shut up. After a few seconds of silence, sobs can be heard just as rumbling upstairs. "Matt?!" Nick yells while running up the stairs with Chris after him.

Nick opens Matt's door but the only thing they see is a stain of blood on the floor which instantly makes Chris and Nick's hearts drop. "MATT?" Nick instantly yells while running to the bathroom and trying to open the door. Nick rattles at the handle but the door doesn't open. Fear instantly creeps into his chest. "Shit." He turns around to Chris who is still looking at the puddle of blood.
"Chris? CHRIS! He locked the door! He locked the fucking door!" He cries desperately. Chris's head snaps up. "MATT?" He yells while banging on the door. "MATT OPEN THE DOOR" he bangs again. The only response he gets is a loud sob from Matt. Chris's heart drops. "Matt, please bubba please open the door!" Nick begs. Matt's sobs continue until a terrifying scream comes from the bathroom. It's the most raw, helpless, heartbreaking cry Chris and Nick have ever heard. Nick's heart shatters at it. And then the younger cries something even more devastating.

Nick doesn't immediately realize what the younger had sobbed, he only hears a part. But when Chris's head snaps at him he suddenly realizes what he had said. His brother had said his name. He cried for him, he wanted him to help. "Nicky.." the boy had cried desperately.

Nick gasps loudly at the realization. Tears start falling from his eyes. "Chris move." He says. When he did what Nick asked him to do he starts throwing his full body weight on the door. Matt's sobbing gets louder at the sound coming from it. After three times the door breaks open and falls backwards, Nick pushes Chris away so the door doesn't fall on him and then they instantly run into the bathroom.

"Matty?"

The sight in front of them will haunt their nightmares forever. Nick's breath catches at it and Chris instantly bursts into tears.

There's Matt.
Sitting on the bathroom floor, sobbing while cutting into the skin on his left arm. His face is covered in blood and tears, an open wound on the top of his forehead. His arms are soaked in red liquid, dripping on the floor slowly. He looks like he might drown in his own tears. His shirt is wet from sweat just as his hair. His eyes are red and puffy, his mouth being pushed together and his eyes squeezing when they run into the room. Matt's head snaps up, wild eyes meet Chris and Nick's. He pauses the cutting and looks up at them while sobbing. Chris and Nick look at him stunned for a second. Nick is the first one to act.

He runs up to Matt, falling on his knees in front of him and grabbing the blade from his hand. Matt doesn't let go tough, he looks at Nick with pleading eyes. Like he's trying to ask him not to take his blade away from
him. Nick feels a heartstring get pulled at the eyes of his brother and his gaze softens. Out of pure anger he snatches the blade from Matt's hand and throws it against the wall. Matt flinches which makes Nick turn attention to him again. He looks down at the wounds on the boy's arms. "Chris we need an ambulance." He says, turning around to Chris who has already dialed the number. He then turns around to Matt again, grabbing the boy's head and looking him him in the eyes. Their eyes lock and Nick's heart shatters aggressively at the younger's eyes.

"My baby.."

Nick whispers while shifting and pulling Matt in his arms. He holds the crying boy's head tightly against his hurting chest. The blood smells like metal, the smell is filling Nick's nose. It's the most horrible smell he ever experienced. It smells like death. Matt's blood starts staining his yellow shirt. It's a shirt Matt bought for him. Nick lets tears stream down his face as he holds the broken boy in his arms. He feels Matt leaning into his touch like he craved it, like he waited his whole life for the touch Nick gives him right this moment. "What did you do?" Nick asks. Matt only sobs. His chest goes up and down fast, his breathing going rapidly.

Fifteen minutes go by before the ambulance pulls up.
Fifteen minutes of Chris watching his brother bleeding out, fifteen minutes of Nick holding the dying boy in his arms, fifteen minutes of Matt wishing the ambulance will never show up. Matt slowly loses his consciousness. He stopped crying and gets lowered a little, Nick now holding his upper body up. His eyes slowly start to slide closed. "Matt? Matt you need to stay awake sweetheart." Nick starts to cry again, "Matty please stay awake." His voice breaks.

"Can you two st- st'y with me?" Matt chokes out while letting tears stream down his face.

"Yes, yes, of course sweetheart. We'll stay- we'll stay with you." Nick sobs. "Chris get your ass here Matt needs you." He cries angrily at Chris who is just standing there.
Chris spares a hesitant gaze at Nick before he drops on his knees next to Matt. Leaning over his head and cupping his face with soft touch. "I'm here, can you stay awake for me bud?" He asks softly, letting tears fall. Matt's face turns even paler and he looks at Chris with big, hurt eyes. "Chr'ssy!" He gasps weakly.

And Chris almost breaks down at that, Matt's voice sounds exited, happy, even. Chris breaks into a painful sob while trying to smile. "Yeah, yeah that's right I'm here. I'll always be here, please- just stay awake Matty." Matt tries to nod and keeps eye contact with Chris, drowning himself in Chris's gentle eyes while holding onto Nick's hand. He closes his eyes and leans into Chris's touch when he strikes some hair out of the boy's face.

And then he realizes he doesn't want to die yet, he wants to stay with his brother's. He wants to stay with Nick and Chris.

"I don't want to go.." Matt cries. He sees Chris's eyes softening, squinting slightly and his tears start to land on Matt's forehead. "You won't, you won't go." He assures his brother. Matt's lashes flicker up and down.

"Stay-?" The blood on Matt's forehead dries slowly. It hurts Chris to look at his brother with so much blood on his face. But when a stream of blood goes down Matt's eyebrow, reaching for his eye, Chris gently wipes it away and lies his hands on Matt's bloodied cheeks. "Forever." Chris answers, sobbing.

Matt nods, his eyes slowly closing. He looks at Chris's blue eyes once more and smiles weakly, letting more tears stream down his bloody face. "Okay." He whispers before falling unconscious.

"Matt?" Nick's voice brings out. Chris's breath catches in his throat, his eyes turn into hurt and confusion.

"Matty? Matty wake up bub.
MATT!
MATTY WAKE THE FUCK UP!
Bubba?"