~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟑𝟏. Please get me out of here.

Helloww!

How are y'all feeling today?
This chapter is kinda sad, I would even say sadder than the last chapter but I don't think y'all would agree to that because everyone said it was too sad. I don't really feel like it was that sad but I'm glad y'all thought it was! (Not me catching myself smiling at y'all's comments🤭) anyways, this is sad but I just feel like the last few chapters haven't been long enough, tell me what u think.

T.W. this chapter might be really triggering for people who have experienced mental hospitals and things like that, just know that you don't have to read this if you don't want to. Crying, bruises, needle, PTSD, trauma, nightmare, fluff.

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𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒐𝒐
𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒅.
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Nick takes the younger's hand and gently helps him to get out of the car. They walk slowly to the living room and to the couch. No one really says anything, mostly because Chris and Nick notice Matt starting to dissociate. He used to do that when his depression was really bad. Chris looks worriedly at his brother getting sat down on the couch.

Nick slowly lifts Matt's shirt, revealing multiple bruises and lines from when he was strapped down. Nick's gaze drops slightly and he carefully takes Matt's shirt off. When he touches one of the bruises on Matt's stomach the boy flinches and gasps. Nick instantly takes Matt's wrists firmly which makes him flinch again but also look at him. He instantly relaxes when he sees Nick's face again and drops his head back on his shoulder. Nick's chest hurt at the moment, Matt flinched from touching the bruises which meant they were made during something traumatic.
Nick lays his head on top of Matt's and sighs.
Chris then walks up to them, kneeling down in front of Matt and laying a hand on his cheek for a second. "Can I clean the wounds buddy?" He asks while striking some hair out of Matt's face. Matt hesitates before he whispers, "okay."
So Chris walks away to get a warm washcloth and when he gets back he starts to gently clean the bruises. The moment Chris lets the cloth touch Matt's skin his eyes squeeze shut and only open after a few seconds. When Chris has cleaned the wounds he looks at Nick awkwardly, not knowing what to do now. Nick takes the hint and turns to Matt again, lifting the boy's chin gently to make him look at him. "Do you wanna go to bed bubba?" He asks softly. Matt just nods weakly. "Can you stay?" He looks at Chris and Nick. "Yes, of course. We won't leave you anymore." Chris instantly says and Nick nods.

So they walk to Nick's bedroom and lie down with the boy. Matt buries his face deeply into Chris's chest while he enjoys the younger massaging his scalp. Nick is laying behind him, resting his face against Matt's back as he rubs his arm.
Matt lets out a muffled whine which makes Chris look down at him with a confused, worried look. "What is it baby?" Nick asks softly.
Matt sighs, "I wished for you two every night I was in there,
I'm just glad I have you back."

Chris lets a shaky sigh out and tears up while throwing his arms around Matt's neck and shifting so his head rests on his collarbone instead of his chest. "I'll never let you go." Chris says with sweetness in his voice.
"I'll never want you too." Matt answers sleepily. And at that, Matt falls asleep peacefully for the first time in almost two months.

After Matt fell asleep it's silent for a few minutes before Chris starts silently sobbing.
When Nick notices the silent cries and shakes coming from Chris he pulls his arm out and reaches for the younger's head, softly ruffling through Chris's hair in an attempt to soothe him. "It's okay." Nick whispers, "don't blame yourself." He lets a few tears stream down his face while listening to Chris's guilty cries. They then both fall asleep, grateful that Matt is finally back with them.

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𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆
𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅
𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒎𝒆.
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White walls blind Matt's sight, he looks around the empty bedroom. His bag is the only thing on the floor. Door knobs and no locks in the room. Nothing there to hurt himself with. He slowly walks to the bathroom, hoping to find a backup plan. Like something sharp or something he can hang himself with. There's nothing tough, there's a small window in a wall. Matt's eyebrows raise, why the fuck would they need to see him in the shower? He then walks up to the sink, a small plug laying in it. He looks at the size of the sink, his face could easily fit in there.
I guess that was his escape plan.

A week later Matt feels depressed as fuck. He's been forced to eat meals, forced to communicate with patients and has been put down by the staff three times already. He was also right about the window in his bathroom, they do watch him
use the bathroom so they can see he isn't throwing up any food. And when he's on observation they also watch him shower.
He finally saw Chris and Nick today, they didn't seem happy with him. They looked like they saw a ghost and couldn't keep eye contact with Matt.
Matt is done, he's done with everything. Life here is awful and scary.
So Matt walks up to his sink and lets it fill with water.

He looks around once more, glancing at the window and hoping no one will catch him. He then dunks his face underwater without any air. After fifteen seconds Matt starts to finally drown, but at that moment his door opens. Matt doesn't hear it at first but when his bathroom door flies open and he gets pushed against the wall he starts crying while gasping for air. "NO, NO PLEASE! PLEASE I DONT WANT TO BE HERE! Please let me go home!" The boy screams.

He feels multiple hands on him, shoving him against the wall with full force while he hears someone calling for security. Tears stream down his face as he gets dragged away by security guards. He screams and fights but nothing helps. They throw him in the isolation room. Multiple people roughly taking his clothes off and laying him down on the table. Matt cries and hysterically screams, he starts yelling Chris and Nick's names while he gets held down.
A needle then appears in front of him, Matt squeezes his his eyes shut while he waits for the needle to be stabbed in he neck, cries and screams turn into loud whimpers and sobs. And then the pain appears in his neck and the world gets slowly blurry.

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𝑾𝒆𝒍𝒍, 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚
𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒃𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒐𝒎 𝒉𝒂𝒔
𝒂 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕.
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Matt lets a loud scream escape his throat while he raises his upper body out of the bed. He instantly starts gasping for air and crying. He closes his eyes and holds his breath in the hope he'll calm down and no one will hear him and take him away. But then Chris is in front of him, looking at him with a panicked gaze. "Chris?" He whimpers desperately, not understanding why Chris is in front of him.

"Yeah, you're okay. You're home, I'm here, you're safe." He quickly says while holding Matt's shoulders and looking him in the eyes. Matt instantly feels himself relaxing a little. "Can I hug you Matty?" Chris then asks. And Matt quickly nods, feeling instant relief washing over him when he gets pulled into Chris's protective arms. Matt leans into Chris's chest desperately while he cries. He feels Chris running his hand through his hair gently while pressing kisses on his head and saying comforting words.
"You're safe." He tells Matt over and over again.

When Matt stopped crying Chris slowly pulls Matt off him and gently pushes his chin up to face him.
Terror is written all over Matt's face, it's clear that he got more than a little trauma from being there. Tears are still streaming down his face as he looks at Chris with exhaustion. Chris slowly pushes their foreheads against each other and they stay like that while Chris gently strikes Matt's cheek with his thumb. "You're safe." Chris whispers once again, this time with more affection in his voice. Matt gives him a small nod while he leans into Chris. "Can you stay?" He asks, again. Chris breaks into a small smile, "you know I will." He whispers to Matt.

Chris holds Matt's body up, as he knows he can't do it himself. And lowers their bodies onto the bed again. Chris pulls the weak boy towards him and gently holds Matt's head to his chest while playing with strands of his hair. He feels Matt relaxing and slowly falling asleep. "I love you Chrissy." Matt says softly, right before he falls asleep. Chris breaks into a smile and kisses the top of the boy's head, "I love you more."  He whispers.

And Nick slept through it all.😕