Hellow my fellow Wattpad readers. This chapter right here is giving: last chapter.
But it's not the last chapter!!
I am today exactly twenty days clean. (yayy me) so I thought to celebrate it i should get y'all a fluffy chapter.
So, here y'all go!
T.W. Fluff, self harm, crying, small panick attack, Nicknames, quotes, wet rag, depression, self hatred, body dysmorphia,
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𝑴𝒚 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒖𝒔𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
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Matt sighs and turns on the shower for the first time in a week. He hasn't been able to get himself clean, he doesn't care about it, doesn't have motivation. But Chris and Nick insisted on him taking a shower. Chris is waiting outside right now and he has no idea where Nick went to. He hesitates when he thinks back about how he looked in the mirror. He looked horrible, his hair was greasy, covered in dried sweat, dark eyebags, dull eyes. He winced at himself when he saw his true form. Why did Nick and Chris lie to him? Why did they tell him he was beautiful? He didn't believe them anymore. Fuck, he needs to fix this. But Nick and Chris are forcing him to eat. He looked down at his belly. The longer he stared at it the bigger it looked. A enormous amount of self hatred washed over him. He let the tears fall down his face, making sure to be quiet because Chris was outside of the room.
Tears are still streaming down his face when he steps into the shower. He then turns the shower warmer. After less than five minutes he decides it isn't warm enough and turns the shower warmer again. He washes his hair quickly and then decides to turn the shower even warmer. He sucks his breath in the moment the hot water touches his fragile skin. It feels like boiling water, it feels like he's on fire. It hurts, but Matt doesn't back away. Instead, he fully steps under the spray of the shower. It burns, and Matt quietly takes deep breathes but he secretly enjoys it, tells himself he deserves it. The tears streaming off his face mix with the water as his skin slowly turns red.
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𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒃𝒐𝒚 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒍 𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒊𝒎.
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Matt opens the door of the bathroom, pyjama's covering his burning skin. Chris instantly looks up at him from his bed. He's about to say something when his eyes suddenly change. He glances over Matt, worry immediately taking over his face. "Why are you so red?" He asks hesitantly. "What?" Matt brings out awkwardly. The reaction says enough for Chris and he immediately drops his phone and quickly walks up to Matt.
Matt looks around for a second, trying to find a way out, or a distraction. Chris grabs his arms, immediately noticing how warm they are. He holds them up and inspects the red, dry skin. "Chris stop it I'm fine!" Matt yells defensively and tries to shake Chris off him. "Matt, don't you dare even move." He grabs the boy's chin and lifts it up to look him in the eyes. He instantly sees the glistening in the elder's eyes and immediately understands what's going on. He then lays a firm hand on Matt's forehead but instantly pulls it away when Matt's skin almost burns his hand. He looks at Matt with wide eyes. "Matt!" He yells with disbelief in his voice. Matt stays quiet and lets a tear stream down his face which Chris wipes away with a quick motion. He starts to feel Matt's face again, now realizing how hot the temperature of the shower must've been. "Take off your pyjama's Matt." Chris then says while walking towards the bedroom door. "NICK COME HERE RIGHT NOW!" He yells angrily.
Fear starts to rise in Matt's chest at Chris's tone. Chris walks back to Matt and drags him by the wrist to the bathroom, helping him take his pyjama's off and settling him in his tub. Chris walks out of the room when he hears footsteps from Nick and he hears Chris stressfully explaining what happened. "Matt fully burned himself in the shower." He hears Chris's voice say. "WHAT?!" Nick yells. The door bursts open and there appears Nick. "Nick I'm sorry!" Matt instantly cries when he sees Nick busting through the door. Tears violently pour down his face as fear grips his throat. He's scared of his brother's being mad at him. "You should be, sweetheart!" Nick exclaims as he kneels down and pulls Matt in his chest, instantly noticing how warm he feels. "Matty!" Nick gasps when he feels Matt's burning forehead. He instantly turns the bath on, grabs the shower head and adjusts the water to be cold. Chris then appears next to him pulling his sleeves up and holding Matt's head close to him as Nick starts to run the cold water over his body. Chris suddenly has a wet rag and lays it down on Matt's head. "Why, Matt?" Chris whispers. "You lied to me!" Matt exclaims through his sobs. "I saw myself in the mirror and I'm fucking ugly.." he cries. Nick and Chris look at each other with a pained expression. "Matt you're not ugly, we didn't lie to you." Chris says softly. "Yes you did! I saw it.." the boy cries.
