~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟏𝟕. Sweater weather

I might go on a little break y'all I'm so sorry.😕💗

"You look like you could use a movie night." Nick says when busting into Matt's room and seeing him laying in his bed with AirPods in, staring at the ceiling. Matt raises his head and looks at Nick in front of him. And then he drops his head again. "Please." Matt groans loudly. Nick raises his eyebrows at the desperation in Matt's voice. He walks up to Matt and takes his hand, dragging him out of bed carefully. Matt allows it and lets Nick take him to the living room.

They fell down on the couch and Nick immediately pulls Matt close to his chest. Matt turns around and hugs Nick tightly. Nick laughs and hugs the boy just as tight back. "Being clingy today?" He softly chuckles. Matt nods sweetly while burying his head in Nick's chest. Nick rubs his back gently and gives Matt a kiss on the head. Nick grabs the tv remote and a blanket and throws the blanket over them. Matt turns on his back again and rests his head on Nick's chest. "What do you want to watch?" Nick asks, voice tender. "Saltburn." Matt whines. "What?" Nick chuckles. He looks at Matt, seeing him smile innocently. "That was a joke." He laughs. Nick smiles at Matt and squeezes him tight while chuckling.

They picked out a movie and when it started, Matt cuddled up even more to Nick and listened to the elder's heartbeat. He doesn't even focus on the movie. Instead, he closes his eyes and enjoys Nick's body heat beneath him.

What Matt doesn't know is that Nick also doesn't look at the movie, he looks down at Matt. Watching him drift off to sleep while gently playing with his hair. His brother sleeping on his chest, just like he always does. Nick rests his head on Matt's and the sound of soft snores slowly lull him to sleep, it doesn't take long until Nick is asleep too.

—————

Nick opens his eyes reluctantly. He looks up and observes the room. The tv is off, the movie he put on ended. He looks at the oven clock and realizes he was asleep for three hours. Then he realizes someone is asleep in his arms. He looks down at Matt and smiles softly. Matt is still asleep in his arms and cuddling onto him.

He looks peaceful, but when Nick leans forward to kiss him on the forehead he realizes his brother is way to warm. "Matty?" Nick whispers. No response. He feels carefully at the younger's forehead. He's sweating and way too hot. Nick slowly pulls the blanket off them and pulls Matt's hoodie up. 'There's a shirt under it so he probably wouldn't mind if I take it off.' Nick thinks. So he carefully pulls the hoodie over his brother's head, trying not to wake him up.

When he's done Matt stirs and cuddles more up to Nick. "Hey Matty," Nick whispers softly. "You where sweating so I took your hoodie off." He explains to Matt. Nick sees Matt's face slightly drop. "Why?" He whines. "You're really hot sweetheart I think you must be getting sick or something, do you feel alright?"

"I feel fine Nick. Give my hoodie back!" He whines slightly louder. Nick frowns. "Matty, I don't that's a good idea. Why do you want it so bad anyway?" Matt's face drops further. "I just do!" He says desperately. He tries to get up but as soon as he moves his body a throbbing headache makes him sit down again. He groans. "Are you okay?" Nick asks. Matt nods miserably. "I can see you're not Matty.." he smiles softly as he gets up to get some Tylenol. He comes back with the pill and a glass of water and puts it on the coffee table.

"Nick-" Matt says again, tears in his throat. "Hey- hey, what's wrong Matty?" Nick soothes while sitting back down next to Matt and pulling him closer. "I just want- can you just give me the hoodie? Please?" Matt chokes out.

And then Nick realizes it. It's honestly painful to realize something like that. Matt didn't want Nick to see his arms.

"Matty?" He starts. "Why don't you want me to see your arms?" He asks, not understanding. "What?" Matt said. "Matt, please tell me baby I won't be mad, please tell me why you hide your arms." Nick says softly while pulling away from Matt again. "I- I don't-" he struggles. Nick takes his hands and gently rubs them, telling him to take his time.

"Because- I, always looked up to you.. and then, those scars. Remind me of how i let you down.. and I don't want you to be reminded too.."

Nick's heart drops to his feet in an instant. "Matt.." his voice breaks and he pulls Matt close to his chest. "Matty, you never let me down, ever." He says while hugging his brother. Matt lets his body sink into Nick's. "Really?" He asks as he melts into Nick's gentle touch. "Yeah Matty, I admire you. Always have. You're the bravest soul I know. You are amazing and your scars prove that you've been through shitty times. But you're still here and I'm so grateful for that. You're so fucking strong sweetheart.."

Matt's eyes flutter closed as his heartstrings get pulled. "Promise?" He asks. Nick nods and squeezes Matt tight for a second. "Promise." He repeats.

"I love you."

"Love you more."

Matt thought his scars were Nick's least favorite thing about him. He was wrong, Nick doesn't have a least favorite part for him. He loves every single thing about Matt. Matt now knows that too. He finally knows.

"I am loved." He thinks as he slowly drifts to sleep in his older brother's embrace.

The end. (For now)