~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟐𝟗. You're so pale..

Hellow!

I hope y'all are not mad at me for the last two chapters. I really enjoyed writing them though. If y'all have any ideas or suggestions for this book in the future please let me know!

T.W. hospital, crying, blood, fluff.

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𝑾𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒊𝒕, 𝒅𝒊𝒅 𝒘𝒆?
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Chris lets tears freely fall down his pale face. There's no stopping them. His chest hurts, how could he let this happen? How couldn't he see? The worst part is that Matt didn't even want to die, he was just panicking. He told Chris he didn't want to go yet. And Chris told him he wouldn't. Was that a lie? Were the last words he said to his brother a lie? He feels guilty, so fucking guilty. This was all his fault. Chris never should've given Matt space when he flinched. No, Chris should've comforted him, he should've told Matt he wasn't going to hurt him and hug him tight.

Chris looks to his side to see Nick.
Nick, he probably blamed himself too. Chris looks around the waiting room, white walls hurting his eyes. When he looks at Nick again he sees countless of tears streaming down his face. He looks like he's keeping it all in. His eyes stand guilty and hurt, Chris can't stop thinking about the images in his head. Nick holding Matt against him while crying, Nick screaming for Matt to wake up, refusing to leave him alone with the paramedics. Screaming that he's afraid of being alone. Chris can see all the pain in Nick's eyes. He knows he blames himself, he shouldn't though.

Chris slowly lays a hand on Nick's shoulder, causing him to look up and look him in the eyes. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Chris notices Nick's lip trembling. He gently throws an arm around his brother and pulls him in his chest, listening as soft sobs leave the boy's mouth. "Shh, he's gonna be okay. It's not your fault." Chris soothes. At the way Nick's head shakes Chris knows he doesn't believe what he said. "Nick, it's not your fault." Chris says, voice firmer. Nick doesn't respond and only sobs. Chris says nothing more and rests his head on his sobbing brother's.

Chris can see heads turning to them in the waiting room, looking at Nick while he sobs quietly in Chris's chest. They wouldn't understand, they didn't just find their brother half dead on his bathroom floor. Nick still has the blood stained shirt on and Chris and Nick's hands are both covered in dried blood. Chris shoots a glare at some random lady who's looking at them and then goes back on focusing on his brother. "He's going to be okay." He whispers.

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𝑻𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏.
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"Matthew Sturniolo?" A voice calls. Nick immediately shoots up from where he was resting his head on Chris's shoulder and stands up. They walk to the doctor and he smiles at them kindly. "Is he alive?" Chris asks.

The doctor smiles sympathetically. "Yes, Matthew is alive. Some of his wounds have gotten stitches and he's wrapped in bandages but he's okay. He lost a lot of blood so we gave him some, he needs loads of rest." Chris and Nick nod relieved, Matt is alive.
They follow the doctor to Matt's room. But when they come in their hearts drop. Matt is laying in his hospital bed, slim and pale. The wound on his forehead is cleaned but not gone. His arms are wrapped in bandages, tear burns are printed in his face, he looks exhausted. Even when his eyes are closed. Nick takes a deep, shaky breath. He wasn't prepared for that.
Tears instantly start pouring down his face. All he wants is to jump in Matt's arms, to hold him and to call him a stupid fucking idiot, but the boy looks too fragile for that.