~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟎𝟕. Home sweet home

Im so excited for y'all to read this!!!!!!!!! (really excited😭) I think I've done a good job at this chapter and it was kinda exactly what I had in mind! (I love that we're at chapter 7 already😩💗) lmk if you like this!!!

LOVE Y'ALL SO FREAKING MUCH ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

The song at the top basically describes this chapter (yayy).

T.W. knife, angst, sad, mental breakdown, fluff, crying.
💗💗💗💗

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After the triplets finally pull up in their driveway they begin to realize how exhausted everyone is. Especially Matt. As soon as the car is parked Matt lets his head fall backwards into his headrest. He closes his eyes and lets out a loud, exhausted sigh. All he wants to do is sleep. He feels a firm hand on his shoulder. "Lets go Matt, you can sleep inside." Matt nods and goes to help his brother unpack their trunk.

When finally inside and finished Matt leans on the countertop, closing his eyes again. "Matt?" He sees Chris looking at him worriedly. "You okay dude?" Matt's eyes fill with tears as Chris slowly approaches his brother. Chris gently grabs Matt shoulder and uses his other hand to tilt Matt's head up. When seeing the teary eyes of his brother he pulls Matt close to him in a hug. Chris feels Matt softly starting to cry in his chest.

Chris allows him. He allows his brother to cry his little heart out. Knowing the pain he is going through. Chris can only imagine this kind of pain. He knows how it affects Matt, how it makes him exhausted and scared. He rubs Matt's back in a comforting way and pulls the boy even closer to his chest, which only makes Matt sob louder. His legs give in and they both collapse to the floor while Matt lets out heartbreaking sobs that have been haunting him for so long. Exhaustion runs through his veins as he leans into the hands running through his hair.

Guilt washes over Matt's tired body. He can't help but sob but he hates that Chris and Nick have to deal with his stupid emotions the whole time. He feels like such a burden, like a chore.

"I'm so sorry Chris.." Matt starts to pull himself out of Chris's hold which isn't easy. When he freed his hands from Chris's he starts to try to stop crying and wiping his tears aggressively. "I'm sorry Chris, I don't- I don't know what's wrong with me- I'm so sorry I didn't, I didn't mean to-"

Chris, surprised by the sudden outburst of guilt and selflessness grabs his brothers wrists firmly. "Hey, hey, it's okay Matt I promise. Don't be sorry let it out." Matt looks Chris in the eyes for a second, trying to figure out if his brother was lying before being pulled in another hug, which makes him burst out in tears again.

He feels Nick's presence beside them, watching them, making sure they were okay. Well he really isn't. Not when his chest tightens up and he can't breathe anymore, not when the emotional pain gets so bad he can't handle it anymore. "Matt just breathe." He hears a faint voice say. But it sounds so far away. It doesn't stick out to all the demons screaming at him from inside his head. He feels suffocated and starts to sweat while gasping for air. He pulls himself away from Chris and his mind snaps to the only option he has left.

He stumbles and gets up. He's too fast for his brothers to be followed. Matt opens the knife drawer and collapses on the floor with a small, sharp knife. But before he can let the knife meet his skin two strong hands grab his wrist. Matt tries to rip himself away from the elders hold but his weak body also has his limits.

"Matt stop it sweetheart. Please don't hurt yourself Matty." Nick's eyes connect with Matt's and he hesitates. Luckily, in that hesitant moment Nick has already thrown the knife across the room, away from Matt. "Matt, calm down baby you're gonna be fine, I promise." Nick says reassuringly while pulling Matt close to his chest. Matt leans into Nicks chest admitting his exhaustion.

Matt's eyes squeeze shut as another painful ache in his chest makes his body go almost fully limp.
"I don't want to be alone anymore- please.." Matt sobs. Nick holds Matt even tighter at that comment. "You're not sweetheart, I'm right here, I'll always be here I promise you." Nick says while he gently strikes the boys sweaty hair.

"Okay? And Chris too. We'll always be here for you, no
Matter what happens. No matter how hard you hate us, not matter how much we say we hate you. We love you more than anything and you know, you know why? Because you deserve it baby, you deserve the whole fucking world Matty. Even more. You remember that okay? Nothing else, just- just remember that we love you sweetheart.."

Matt nods and gratefully tightens his grip on Nick's hug while crying happy tears still mixed with exhausted ones.

"I love you both so much."

Matt feels Chris joining the hug and pressing a kiss on the top of his head.

"Love you Matty."

(Don't worry Matt took a nap after that😭😭)