BLIZZARD: Winter Is Coming VOL 7 (ROBB STARK X OC)

Apologies From the Seven Hells

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Apologies From the Seven Hells

Robb's POV

It's been three weeks and Alana has barely woken up for more than an hour or so at a time. She's so overly exhausted and all the stress caught up to her at once making her sick and causing her to faint. It's my fault. It's all my fault.

I keep fucking up everything, Theon was right. I have no idea how to be happy. I have no clue what to do when something good happens to me because I'm always so stuck in the bad things that have happened that I cause even more bad to happen. It's an endless cycle.

But this time... I haven't left Alana's side. Even then, when she has opened her eyes she turns her head away from me and sobs silently until she falls back asleep again from the medications that Maester Luwin has been giving her for pain and relaxation. Medicine to keep her from becoming too stressed and delivering the baby too early.

She was right when she said I abandoned her before. I was an asshole and I made mistakes. Big ones. But I'm going to fix it now because I can't lose her. Of all the people in this world I truly would not survive if I lost her. Dead or alive... Losing her in death I'd die too. But losing her in life? Watching her fall in love with anyone but me, watching her live and not including me in anything would be a fate worse than death.

Perhaps it's what I deserve though.

I don't deserve her or her love.

Although we were never supposed to be here. Never supposed to fall in love. I should be just sitting here by her side out of duty not love. I should be here only concerned to be sure that my heir is okay. Not because I'm terrified of losing my child and losing my wife too.

Six months ago we got married and I didn't realize what I truly had until I nearly lost it all. For real this time. I need to be more like my father and stop self-sabotaging myself. I need to be more like my father because I... I'm going to be a father. I can't let my child grow up and learn my behavior and think it's how a man should be. Because it's not.

Alana began to stir again and looked directly at me, a frown on her face and I still reached for her hand. For the first time she didn't pull her hand away. Either because she still feels something for me or because she's too weak to move her hand away.

"Do you need water?" I asked softly and she shook her head. "Do you need anything?"

Silence.

"Alana..."

"Don't." She muttered. "Don't do this. Not right now."

"I'm sorry and I can't express it enough to you." She doesn't want to hear it right now but I can't let it go. Not yet. If she's awake and at least willing to look at me I need her to know that I will give my life for her happiness.

"Robb I told you I'm not ready to talk to you. I don't want your apologies and I just... I can't believe you. After everything... I trusted you and you trusted me and you just... You blew it. Actually, you let another girl blow you." She crossed her arms and glared so angerly at me. I don't blame her for her anger, I deserve it. I deserve for her to hate me as much as I hate myself right now.

Forcing myself to swallow so I don't throw up from how horrible I feel I nodded. Wanting to just nip this in the bud before it gets worse. Because how worse can it truly get? She hates me again and this time it's not because of a misunderstanding. It's for a valid reason.