Substantiate Innocence (Valiant Dame Series 1)

Chapter 18

I turned to face the blank wall and tried to make sense of the information that was causing so much mental pain at the moment. 
 
I'm beginning to believe that Jilbert's death was my fault. If I would simply give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps we could resolve this without putting him to death. However, it was too late, and the circumstances have gotten worse. 
 
It wasn't long after that Miggy and Pow rushed into the room. 
 
“Jilbert's gone,” Miggy said. 
 
"We already know, Miggy,” Barry remarked, but as I turn around, Carter walks in.
 
"That's not what he meant," he clarified.
 
Barry shot me a strange glance. However, my heart was stubborn enough to experience longing instead of rage. 
 
"Carter," Ara yelled, sprang to her feet, and hurried to him. He was pleased to give her a hug in consolation. 
 
His gaze remained fixated on me as he gave her a hug. If this theory wasn't ingrained in my mind. Most likely, I ran to give them a tight embrace. Nevertheless, I gazed at Miggy after clearing my throat. 
 
“What do you mean?” I uttered.
 
All of them fell silent. 
 
“I went there, Jilbert's body was gone. The crime scene was cleaned up,” he said, which made us all gasp in disbelief.
 
“What the hell! Una, may pumatay kay Jilbert tapos ngayon may kumuha naman ng katawan niya?” Barry remarked. 
 
With the unexpected news, everyone seems so discontented, and I can't help but feel even worse. 
 
Even now, I'm at a loss for what to do. There are no more theories in my mind. I felt as if I was in the center of a disorganized mess and had no idea where to start.
 
“Oh my god! Anong gagawin natin?” Ara let out a cry. Barry comforts her by giving her a back rub while she continues to message her temples. 
 
I bit my lip quite hard, closed my eyes, and only stopped when I could taste blood.
 
"Jam," Carter said in a slightly warning tone. He's staring at my lips when I open my eyes. I brushed the blood from my face and turned my head away. 
 
"Ara, are you certain of what you saw?" 
 
She gave me a look.
 
“Of course! Jam naman, magbibiro ba naman ako ng tungkol dito?!” 
 
“I'm sorry, that's not what I intended to ask. I mean, when you found him there, were you certain he was dead?”

 “Do you think he's faking it?" she ceased talking abruptly in response to my question. 
 
"It could be," I replied.
 
“Hindi imposible, nagawa nga niyang idiin sa kaso na’to ang pinsan niya, eh. Maybe he knew that Jam was going to find out what he did, so he set up a scenario like this to get away from trouble," Barry said, but Ara kept shaking her head.
 
“No, nagkakamali kayo, he was dead.”
 
“How can you be so sure of that? Did you even touch him?” Barry asked again.
 
“No,” 
 
“See? Hindi ka sigurado, so posib—”
 
“Hindi ako lumapit pero alam ko. I spotted a gunshot wound to his forehead in addition to a knife wound to his face, arms, and leg. When I walked out, he was dead. That much is certain,” Ara stated. 
 
"Where did you discover him?" Cancer inquired.
 
“In his living room, I caught sight of him. His apartment was a mess. There was blood all over the place, from the couches to the wall. It is therefore improbable that you couldn't find him there.”
 
“When we first arrived, the apartment was tidy. There are no signs of blood on the coach, and everything is where it should be. Additionally, Pow noted that there are no indications of forced entry,” Miggy said.
 
"It indicates that after Ara left the apartment, someone cleaned the crime scene,” 
 
"Okay, but what's the point?” Barry asked. 
 
“If there's only CCTV footage of his apartment. Everything will be easier to identify this matter now,” Pow added. 
 
“Wait, there's no CCTV footage in a luxurious apartment like that? Seryuso ka?” 
 
“Yeah, odd, but you heard me right, wala,” Pow answered Barry. 
 
My gaze wandered between the two after that. 
 
"Maybe they weren't aware that Ara was arriving," Carter added as I glanced at him. 
 
"Ara, show me your phone." 
 
Ara handed over her phone without thinking twice. While Carter was navigating through the phone's screen, I looked at him evenly.
 
I'm not going to lie—I really do miss him. Seeing him safe made me very glad. I was relieved that what I had done had actually kept him alive. However,
Barry was right; being careful would be wiser. I have to throw him in jail as well if his father was the mastermind and he participated in it as well. 
 
“I was right,” he declared. With his left hand, he held out Ara's phone to show us a blank message box. 
 
“Jilbert used an end-to-end encrypted conversation. Even though they have access to his phone, Ara's messages are already deleted,” he stated. I recoiled in shock as soon as I saw his palm open after he handed Ara the phone back.
 
“Jam? What's wrong?” Pow, ask me. 
 
I have no idea how to make words because my tongue has been severed. My head starts to produce sweat, and my heart starts to race. 
 
There's a screaming for shock and perplexity inside of me. 
 
My breathing stiffens. I cover my lips, shake my head, and look away. 
 
“Hey, Jam, where are you going?” 
 
It was Miggy. And he was still able to hold my hand as I hurried out of the room.
 
“May problema ba?” he enquired. I clenched my teeth and met his gaze. 
 
“W-wala sumama lang bigla ang pakiramdam ko,” I answered. Miggy gave me a nod and then released my hand. 
 
When I look back to see how they respond. The only person who appeared bothered was Carter. 
 
I went out of the visiting room with the police accompanying me till I got into our cell. 
 
The metal door is now locked, and when I'm certain that there's no one outside my cell anymore, I open my palm to find a little device.
 
I inserted it into my ear right away. In addition, I reach under my bed for the laptop and attempt to scan the Bluetooth gadget. To my surprise, I discovered an open-earbud pair that connected to my device instantly over the internet. 
 
The next day, Carter paid me a visit. 
 
“Where are the others?” I started. 
 
“They won't come. Ara was brought in by Miggy and Pow. There, she is safer.” 
 
I gave a nod and tried to read some guilt into his face as I looked at him. Like people always say, the eyes are never the biggest liars—only the mouths can be. But after staring at him for a minute, all I can feel is longing. 
 
He moved forward to grasp my hand, and as the cast on his left palm made contact with my skin, I nearly froze in place. 
 
The thought in my head broke my heart, so I swallowed the lump in my throat and let go of one tear.
 
“Jam,” he said. And I don't know why it sounds so soft in my ears, but I took another step back and turned around. I wipe the tears from my eyes before facing him again, this time with more poise. 
 
I inhaled deeply.
 
I saw your TV interview, so I know you're busy right now. However, I appreciate you coming by and supporting Ara.”
 
I made the decision to keep my opinions to myself. We'll be in danger if he's the mastermind, especially Ara, if I tell him that I have suspicions about him. 
 
“You don't need to inquire with me about it. Of course I'll take care of her.”
 
"Thank you." 
 
“But Jam, is there anything you can guarantee me?” 
 
“What?"
 
He inhaled deeply before reaching out to squeeze my hand.
 
He said, "Don't you ever give yourself up like that for me again." 
 
I could see the sadness radiating from his eyes, and my heart began to pound at the mere sight of it. 
 
If he did play a role in setting me up, how will I ever come to deal with it? Whereas for today, my heart felt secure in his grasp, even while my mind was gathering information and seeing some evidence. 
 
"I'll treat you the same regardless of the situation we were in," I answered. I am more likely to assure myself that no matter what occurs, I will still be in love with him. I can't control it; even though he was a dangerous man, all that whispers in my heart is his name. 
 
He inhaled deeply once again and buried his face in my hands. 
 
"You don't have to go back to prison if you just leave me there that night."
 
"But I'm not able to do it. I will never take a chance as long as I'm unsure that you'll be alright that evening.
 
“Still, hindi mo na sana ginawa ‘yon.”
 
“Hindi ko kailangan pagsisihan ‘yan.”
 
"I'm not saying that; I know." I find it so difficult to see you here once more. This is the second time I have failed to protect you. 
 
I pursed my lips. 
 
Why does he sound so genuine all the time? So real that it makes me wonder where I got the notion that he was betraying me. 
 
"Carter, I'm doing fine. You ought to carry on with your life, particularly now that I see you regaining your bearings. To be honest, you should avoid me from now on. This might destroy your career once more. 
 
“Do you mean that I should leave Ara and you right now?"
 
"She'll understand,” I said.
 
He released my grasp and caressed his hair with his fingers. 
 
"I don't like your current tone of voice. Do we have an issue with me?” I instantly shake my head.
 
“Nothing.”
 
“Jam, I'm sure you're aware of my efforts to suppress my emotions for you. Although I know you didn't feel the same way, I still detest it. But completely pulling me away from Ara and you in our friendship? It's quite annoying!” he uttered. Although he wasn't screaming, I could tell by the look in his veins that he didn't like what he had heard me say. 
 
"I just have concerns about you," 
 
“At ako ba hindi? Ilang beses na kitang pinagbigyan, Jam. But not now, not this.” 
 
“Baka madamay ka nanaman.”
 
“What now? You and Ara are being targeted by someone out there. I am thus involved, certainly. 
 
I took a step backward until my back was against the wall. I took a long breath and kept my eyes on his hand, which was still covered in gauze. 
 
It keeps coming to mind that he was the one who attacked me that evening. They both had identical builds and were skilled fighters. I could know the answer right away and wouldn't have to worry about something I'm unsure about if Barry could see his face that night.
 
“What's with you and Miggy?” Suddenly, he asks. 
 
“What?”
 
“What’s with you and Miggy?” 
 
I give him a weird look.
 
“Are you seriously asking me that?”
 
"Yeah, and just answer me.”
 
“Nothing, ano ba dapat?” I said. His jaw tightened, and he looked away. 
 
I suddenly feel confused. Shouldn't he be wondering about my sudden walkout yesterday and not that crazy question about Miggy? 
 
“Really, Carter. Why are you here? Deretsohin mo na ako.” 
 
He swallowed twice, and then he stood directly in front of me. 

“Do you want the real reason I'm here?” He step closer to me, and I attempted to back away, but I forgot that I was already leaning against the wall. 
 
"Just tell me,” I said with all my courage. 
 
I need to hear it from him, even though I know that once he validates my conclusion, I'll be annihilated. 
 
"The truth is what I came here to tell you." 
 
“And what is that?” I said, almost in a whisper. 
 
Is now the time? Will he ever acknowledge that he took advantage of me? When that's the case, what should I do? Is there any way I could harm him? Otherwise, I'll be frozen in place, unable to respond or act. The most amazing man I know—can I really be terrified of him? or perhaps hold onto these emotions in spite of everything that happened? 
 
“Jam.”
 
He moved forward one more step, encircling me this time. He kept his gaze fixed on me and put both of his arms by my sides. My knees became weak, but I have to show him that I don't fear him or anything he may be. 
 
“Just tell me what d—” 
 
I was shocked when his lips unexpectedly found mine. He had his eyes closed, and I'm still in shock that he kissed me. My heart let go of the weight inside of it, and a tear emerged from my eyes. His kisses soothe even my thoughts, as if they were venom. letting my body become uncontrollable. 
 
I could feel the dryness in my throat and my body's desire for more when his lips left mine. I swallowed twice to get rid of it.
 
“What was that?” I bravely uttered.
 
“The truth. The fact, which you may already be aware of but have refused to acknowledge. But I'm sorry, Jam, but now it's beyond my control anymore. I love you incredibly" 
 
I can't help but let his lips reach mine once more. 
 
I've already been suppressing this emotion. I know I'm not and never will be the ideal girl for him, yet this is too strong to ignore. Overly strong. 
 
I kiss him back and throw my arms around his nape without even thinking twice. 
 
I might have been or not betrayed by him. But my feelings were always truthful. I love him. And the hardest thing to do is to detest him now. So, I'll be a hypocrite for the time being, along with hope.