~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟎𝟖. Nick and Chris

This is just a little chapter on how Chris and Nick feel about Matt. I had a different idea for this chapter but I kinda want to use that for the next chapter. I don't love this chapter but I really wanted to put this out because it's important for the story. This will also only make sense if you just read the last chapter because I want to get more on a timeline.

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After Chris, Nick and Matt were out of words they let Matt cry himself to sleep in their arms on the kitchen floor. Chris gently pulls Matt's limp body away a little to see that his brother is asleep. He lets Matt's head down on his lap and picks him up bridal style. Chris doesn't even struggle to carry Matt to his room.

Nick pulls the sheets off the bed and waits for Chris to let Matt down on it to cover his body.

He leaves to the bathroom to dampen a towel and puts it on Matt's forehead. He makes sure it's not wet enough to wake him up. After that he walks to the bedroom window and opens it so they can get a little bit of fresh air. He figured it would probably be healthy to make the room a bit less suffocating, since he knows Matt hates a suffocating environment.

When he turns around he sees Chris laying next to Matt in the bed and feeling his cheek. Nick lets out a chuckle and joins his brothers on the other side of Matt. He takes the towel off his forehead and aggressively throws it across the room before gently kissing Matt's forehead.

"Goof" Chris laughs silently. Nick smiles and snuggles closer to his brothers side.

Matt stirs and wakes up slightly without opening his eyes. He smiles at the realization of Nick's body warmth beside him and snuggles into his chest. Nick puts an arm around his brother and pulls Matt towards himself to watch over him in a protective way.

Nick had never intended to ruin everything in Matt by insulting him over and over again with Chris. It was a two against one and it wasn't fair. He should've known. But now it's too late. Matt will never be the same again because of him and Chris's stupid behavior. Not that he'll love Matt less because of it, god he loves the kid. It's just that if he would've been a better brother he could've prevented Matt from feeling this shitty. A wave of guilt hits Nicks body and then he promises himself to always protect and defend his brother's from now on.

At that thought he looks over at Matt sleeping on his chest and Chris hugging Matt tight from behind while rubbing his belly.

God he loves these kids.

Suddenly, he feels a finger brushing against his hand, he looks over at Chris to receive his sweet smile. Nick exchanges a small smile back. "You okay?" Chris whispers. Nick nods. "I just feel guilty." Chris's eyes change into sadness and and his smile fades a little. "I know, but we'll take care of him, okay? We'll make sure nothing happens to him." Nick nods. "Goodnight Chrissy, love you."

"Love you too Nicky."

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The next morning is relaxed. Matt doesn't wake up until eleven in the morning so Chris and Nick had enough time to prepare breakfast.

"Niiickk." Chris exclaims while running up to his brother to hug him first thing in the morning. Normally Nick wouldn't have accepted it, but right now he feels like he kind of needs it. So he opens his arms and allows Chris to jump into them. Nick circles him around before putting him down and ruffling through his hair. Chris laughs sweetly and walks to the fridge.

"Slept well?" Chris looks at Nick a little confused at the question he just asked. "Sure" he says while opening a Pepsi. "The fuck did you side eye me for?" Nick exclaims teasingly. "Shh, kid you're gonna wake Matt up." Nick's face drops immediately. The smile that was on his face a few seconds ago disappeared when being reminded by his exhausted brother trying to sleep.

"I'm sorry."

Chris puts his Pepsi down on the counter and rushes up to Nick. "Hey it's okay, what's wrong Nicky?" He asks while bringing his brother into a hug. "I don't know.." Chris pulls away from their hug and looks Nick in the eyes for a second. Nick knows Chris doesn't believe him. "Lets get to the couch okay?" Nick nods and allows Chris to help him to the couch.

When sitting down Chris starts to rub his back gently. "Tell me what's wrong Nicky.." Nick's body covers with goosebumps and slowly starts to explain.

"I just feel like if I had been a better brother, none of this would have happened. I feel like this is all my fault. And when he told us he felt alone yesterday... I wish I'd never let it get to this point. I feel so bad that he has to suffer through this because of me."

Chris feels a painful ache in his heart, he knows it's kind of true. But a lot of that also isn't. Of course Nick takes the blame for everything. He always feels like he owes it to them. Which he doesn't.

Chris lifts Nick's chin up to look right at him.

"Listen to me Nick. First of all, that wasn't all your fault at least half of it was mine, okay? And Matt, the kid has forgiven you ages ago. Yes, we put Matt deeper into his depression but it's not all our fault. It's his feelings, his brain. It's none of our faults. None of us can do anything else then be there for each other and we can help him, we really can I promise. Okay?"

Nick's eyes water and his eyes lit up for a second. "Thank you Chrissy." Chris smiles and pulls Nick into his chest as he leans back on the couch. Nick snuggles close to him and rests his head on Chris's chest as he feels Chris starting to massage his scalp gently.

Before they know it they're asleep while cuddling on the couch.

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(I hate the way I wrote this chapter😭😭)