Sodalis

Chapter 7

"Does she, Mister Weasley?" Severus couldn't stop the biting reply. "Because if she did I doubt I would have had to save her from throwing herself off the Astronomy Tower the first night of term!"

The silence that followed his admission was deafening. His stomach dropped and it was only his immense self control that kept the sneer on his face. She's going to hate me for telling everyone. The flash of guilt in the eyes of some of those in the room was not consolation enough for sharing her secret.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Ron still had a tinge of wrath in his voice but the upward movement of his eyebrows was a tell. He was scared. Of what? The truth? The knowledge that none of them had looked past the 'brightest witch of her age' persona and noticed that she suffered alone. The first day of term had been over 2 months ago. It was long past the reasonable time to notice that one of their closest friends was not herself. If they had noticed a change, then none of them had seen fit to wonder why.

Severus dropped the sneer as he looked around the room. Aghast, confused, disbelieving. That's all he saw. Either she's a far better actress than I gave her credit for, or they really saw nothing wrong with how she had changed.

"It is not my story to tell, Mister Weasley. But it has become very apparent that none of you have seen that young woman for what she is. A generous, stubborn, self-sacrificing, shockingly brilliant, powerful woman that has been dealing with all of her inner demons all on her own despite being surrounded by those she considers friends and family." He turned to Potter, "She has taken on the burden of teaching and protecting you, Potter! Were it not for her, you would not have survived this long! We all know it."

Potter looked down with shame, though he held his wand in a death grip.

Severus shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, not wanting to meet anyone's eye. "Does it pain you to know you left her so alone it was the bat of the dungeons who came to her rescue?"

Potter and Ron winced, knowing that as her best friends they should have known. They probably did notice a change, but in their idiotic and self-centered teenage brains, hadn't felt like they could offer the girl any help. What did they say about teenage boys' maturity versus teenage girls'?

He blew out a long sigh, "I tried to steer others to check in on her. I followed her when she would aimlessly walk the castle at night. I checked the Astronomy Tower to the point of near obsession. I had no idea what she was planning, let alone that it was for me. If she hadn't barged into my office and forced this ritual, I was planning on giving her a detention just to make her talk. Insolent girl that she is. She's been avoiding me. I'd prefer her hating me than the dead look in her eye and the indifference."

"You're painting yourself as some righteous hero with talk like that, Snivellus. Everyone here knows how cruel you have always been. I would think with your proclivities you would have pushed her off the tower." Sirius Black challenged. Severus could see the denial in his eyes.

The Potions Master sent a silent hex the mutt's way when a wave of grief like nothing he had ever known washed over him, forcing him to his knees with a deep grunt of pain. Lupin was at his side yelling at Black, but he kept his head down, leaning against the werewolf for support despite his displeasure at the prospect. Something had happened in the Headmaster's office. He could feel the cold blanket of her occlusion rapidly building. Instinctually, his magic reached for the bond to send her reassurance and keep her grounded.

"Severus, are you alright?" Lupin lowered him into a chair.

"Hermione. Something's wrong." He managed to get out before a wave of rage replaced the grief. He growled and rushed to the hearth, trying and failing to floo to the Headmaster's office. Without hesitating he turned to the Hospital Wing doors only to be met with the wand point of Black, the young Weasley, and Potter. Remus once again stood between him and the aggressors, growling in a way that made the hair on the back of Severus's neck stand up. A fight within his pack was pushing Moony to the surface.