Sodalis

Chapter 24

Hermione spent the rest of the night and most of the following day in her rooms. She had dove head first into researching her journals to distract her from the torment of reliving the horcrux incident with Harry. She had been vacillating between missing him and being terrified to see him again. This was made all the more confusing by the shroud of the bond she shared with him which seemed restless. She hoped that her journals would shed some light on that bond as well, if she was the one that put it there.

As Hermione read through her journals she found an immense amount of research and contingency plans but nothing concrete about the rituals. It annoyed her to no end that her journaling had stopped the day her parents had died. In essence the research for the ritual was only half formed, wherever the other half was it was not among her possessions. But she knew herself, there were notes somewhere, plans hidden.

"Why would it be separate? Hermione, think. Old magic rituals are generally against the law. So I hid the evidence. I couldn't risk being found out but I also didn't want anyone else to attempt it. Where did I keep my notes? Someplace where no one else could find them?" Hermione mused to herself as she finally got up from bed. She had skipped breakfast and her stomach was reminding her that she needed sustenance.

As her mind wandered, so did her legs. She was not paying attention as she seemed to recede into her mind library and depend on muscle memory to take her where she needed to go, Hermione found herself in front of a familiar door on the seventh floor. How did I get here? Why do I need to go to the room of lost things?

Putting her faith in fate for once, Hermione opened the door and walked into the cluttered and monumental room. Could her missing research be here somewhere? When she tried a few summoning spells with no results she grew frustrated. Her subconscious took her here so there had to be a reason for it. Laying her wand flat on her palm she whispered, "Point me."

The delicate wand swiveled in circles before finally choosing a direction that would lead her to the deep heart of the perilous room. A part of her had always been curious about the contents of the large space but she hardly had time to go rooting around in it. With a deep breath Hermione followed the wand's lead.

As Hermione trekked she tried not to become distracted with the multitudes of lost objects ranging from old homework to whole beds. There were mountains of old desks and chests full of unmatched earrings and socks. The most intriguing and beguiling were the books. Maybe one day when the war is over I can come up here with Severus and see what books we can find.

The thought brought warmth and also guilt at assuming he would want to stay with her after the war. If all their plans went accordingly they would end the war alive and no longer bound together. He would have no reason to stay by her side. The thought made her heart ache terribly but she pushed it aside as she came upon a large chest that bore her magical signature.

With practiced ease she took down her complicated wards and protections. There was a feeling of deja vu that wasn't at all surprising. Once freed the chest opened easily and inside, among a collection of books were three journals that she vaguely recognized. She cast a quick spell to check the time and saw that she had missed dinner so there was no reason for her to hurry. A quick spell pulled a chair and small table up next to the chest ready for her to begin her reading. It was only a few pages into the first journal when her eyes widened and an expression of shock came upon her face. This is not good.

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Harry had been through a lot in life; from the abuse from his uncle and aunt, to the annual fight against evil. He had felt everything from anger, vengeance, and regret to joy, acceptance, and love. But this complete self hatred and worthlessness was new and he welcomed it. After what he had done, he deserved it. Remus had done his best to comfort him but also scold him for his recklessness. He couldn't blame him. Seeing Hermione so afraid of him, rightly afraid of him had broken something inside him.