A State of Decay

Chapter 2

What an entitled bastard, Tomura thinks to himself after booting Midoriya from his mind. 

He could always feel the green-haired hero sitting in the back of his head, no matter what he did. Whatever stupid connection they had due to their quirks made it nearly impossible to think sometimes with all that muttering the dumb hero was always doing. 

Yeah, Tomura could shut him out, but that took energy to do. So, more often than not, the hero's thoughts were thrown down the bond and forced into his head. He didn't like to admit it, but he'd honestly grown used to having the little fucker there. When he did choose to block him out, he didn't like how empty everything felt. It makes it too quiet and calm, giving more room for his mind to run. 

And he doesn't like that. 

It makes him itch, like he always does, with the desire to lay his hands on people and things and turn them to dust. He hated it. 

But when Midoriya was in his mind, his was quiet. He could focus on whatever the hero was thinking, feeling, and doing, and it would muffle his own insufferable thoughts. 

What he didn't like was when Midoriya tried to root around in his head. He knows this makes him a hypocrite, but in his defense, he doesn't want Midoriya to know what he's truly thinking and feeling for fear that he'll close himself off from Tomura altogether. He really doesn't want that. 

Listening to Midoriya's thoughts like a late-night radio station was the only way to get his mind to calm down and stop racing--to stop remembering. 

Whenever he let his mind do its own thing, it always returned to the war. Like some awful horror movie, he was forced to watch himself as he did horrible things to people in the name of his Master. He'd been brainwashed and manipulated, and the only person who saw it for what it indeed was was Midoriya. 

Right now, Midoriya was drunk. Tomura knew how he was when he got like this, and despite the alcohol in his system, the green-haired man's mind never slowed down. If anything, it got worse when he was drunk. 

Tomura lays in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, tuning into Radio Midoriya and drowning out everything else. 

Right now, Midoriya was having a total pity party for himself. Tomura scoffs at this, even though he knows the twerp had plenty to feel this way about. He knows everything about Midoriya. 

He knows what his favorite foods ware, and what videogames he liked to play on the weekends. He knows that Midoriya is selfless and kind to a fault, even to people like Tomura. He is everything that Tomura isn't. His exact opposite. 

He found it addicting to sit back and listen to Midoriya's internal monologue. And though he'll never admit it, he likes that the hero thought about Tomura as much as he was thinking about him. It was interesting to hear his thoughts about him. 

Midoriya's view of Tomura is completely warped, or at least Tomura thinks so. 

When the hero thinks about his former Nemesis, he doesn't feel hate like he should. Tomura has done countless terrible things to Midoriya, and he knows that the hero has plenty right to hate him. But he just... doesn't. 

He should. He wants Midoriya to hate him. it would make things so much easier. 

As he listened, Midoriya's thoughts were once again on Tomura. he could hear him weighing the pros and cons of reaching out to him like he often did. Usually, he came to the conclusion that he shouldn't, but that changed earlier tonight when Midoriya forced his way inside. 

It seems that Midoriya was going to try again. That left Tomura with two choices; he could let him inside, though he had no idea what he'd say to the guy. he'd thought about it over and over and over again, wondering what he could possibly say to Midoriya after everything that happened between them. He'd thought about how badly Midoriya wanted to save him, and all the ways that Tomura should convince him that he shouldn't. That he didn't deserve it. But there was alwasy that small part of him that wanted to be saved, no matter how small it was.