A State of Decay

Chapter 9

Izuku leaves the bar and instantly takes to the rooftops. He finds a nice, secluded place to sit and think about what happened. 

Since when did everything get so... fucked?

Once upon a time, it would have been Izuku trying to convince Shigaraki not to do villainous things. But now? It was the other way around. And how fucked is that. 

Izuku knows this is the only way he might get what he wants. So why was Shigaraki so adamant that Izuku not do this? There's no way that his former Nemesis could possibly understand. No way. 

He sighs and sits on the edge of a tall building, letting his feet hang over the edge. The night air is crisp and chilly, and the wind this high up whips past his ears, causing them to turn numb and red. Down below, the city is alive and moving like always. It's almost three in the morning now, so there aren't many cars, but the city is still awake with sounds and movement. He sighs and flexes his hands in and out of fists, trying to calm his racing mind. 

Tomura Shigaraki. 

His mind turns and twists as he considers everything that's happened in the last few years. At the end of the war, Izuku was able to take down All For One and stop the mind-melding thing that he was trying to do to Shigaraki, effectively giving him a second chance at life. 

Izuku had no idea whether Shigaraki would take that chance and improve himself. But by the looks of it, he and his former League of Villains were doing alright. They had made some kind of small life for themselves and weren't acting as villains anymore. 

The thought made Izuku's heart twist in his chest; even the villains could find peace and happiness after the war. But Izuku was stuck. Things never seemed to get better, and he felt trapped under the obligation to fix everything. He would never escape these obligations. It was quite literally his purpose as the holder of One For All to be a Symbol of Peace for the people. But Izuku, like since the beginning, feels like he's a failure. Like nothing he's done since receiving the power has actually done anything to change the world. 

If All Might was still alive, Izuku wonders if he'd be disappointed. He probably would be.

Izuku's smile has been gone for ages. He used to think that he could just bring hope to people by saving them with a smile on his face like his former teacher, but no. With the way things currently were, Izuku couldn't do anything right. Everything felt empty now, and like hell, he'd work for the Safety Commission, knowing the things about it that he did. 

If he worked for them, he felt like he was just becoming a part of the problem rather than a part of the solution. The only problem was that he couldn't even find a good solution. Izuku, by himself, wasn't enough to stop what was happening. 

He couldn't just go in there, punching and kicking; all that would do is get him painted in the light of a villain. Politics had never been Izuku's strong suit, so there just didn't seem to be a clear path toward anything. 

* * * 

A week passes, and Izuku still hasn't heard from that villain he talked to on the street. Even though he told Shigaraki he wouldn't contact them again, part of him is still angry. Nothing he was doing even seemed to matter. No one cared. 

Why did no one care?

He sits down in the shower and lets the hot water hit his back and head. His knees are pulled to his chest, and he rests his chin on the tops of his knees. He just feels so frustrated and doesn't know what to do about it. He's tense all the time now. His mind seldom thinks of anything else. He just doesn't know what to do anymore.