Secrets - [TAEBIN FF]

Chapter 41

A/N: This chapter is a lot more peaceful than the previous ones. Hopefully it gives y'all a chance to breathe <3

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🎶: 'For You Now (ft. Younha) by Suho

After Soobin cried his tear ducts completely dry, he finally calmed down by taking deep breaths in and out, or, as some would call it, blue skies in, gray skies out.

Now, he and Jungkook were sitting on the grass, as all the snow had melted away days before, already beginning to welcome the spring that was just a few weeks away, observing the scenery down below.

There was nothing much to see.

Just an occasional car driving past the sky line in the suburban streets below.

Or the ghostly trace of silhouettes taking a walk in the nearby parts.

Other than that... it was the most peaceful place the ravenette has been all week long.

Jungkook cleared his throat quietly, gaining his attention.

"Soobin?"

"Yeah?" an empty voice replied.

It would've made anyone flinch, including Jungkook, yet he didn't.

Even if this was like seeing a past version of himself.

"How bad is your pain on a scale from 1 to 10?" he asked.

"11. Is that a good answer?"

Jungkook sighed.

"I'll take it."

The two sat in silence for the next minute, listening to the occasional rustle of leaves in the bushes, or a car honking in the far distance.

Soobin could feel that empty, black hole growing even bigger in his stomach, and in his heart.

Instead of a heartbeat, he only felt nothingness.

If he tried to grab into it, his hands would be as bare as they always were.

It was... awful.

This pain was unlike anything he experienced before in his life.

Nothing could possibly be as bad as this.

It was the only thing he was now sure of.

"Soobin?"

"Hmm?"

"I know this may not seem like much, but... I truly am so sorry that this happened to you and Taehyun. Really, I can't believe that you had to split ways by force."

"Thanks for your sympathy."

Soobin sounded hollow while saying this, but the older of the two knew he appreciated it deep down.

He just couldn't communicate it at the moment, not when his heart was being crushed and torn into shreds from all sides.

"Any time."

Jungkook took another breath in, doing his best to not trigger past memories with the next question.

Because it wasn't easy for him to ask, yet easy to tell.

"Soobin... were you planning to jump and end your life... had I not come on time?"

Soobin stilled.

End my life?

He had no idea what came over him at that moment. His mind had completely clouded over with only one thought: I want this pain to end.

"I don't know. Maybe."