~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟏𝟔. Peebee and loverboy.

This is mainly a fluff chapter because I felt emotional and I just began to write. Also i know that Matt never calls Chris peebee but I just thought it was a cute nickname to start using in this series.
I'm also not mentioning Nick in this chapter because this is just a chapter focused on Matt and Chris's relationship. That's why the word, 'Nick' isn't mentioned in this chapter!

Love y'all tbh!! Almost 4K reads is insane❤️❤️

T.W. self harm scars, awkward turn, full name, Nicknames, FLUFF, Chris being adorable.

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The night is beautiful. The moon is bright and stars are shining in the sky. On the middle of the road there are two triplet brothers walking. They don't even need a light because of how bright the moon is. The cold spring air fills the night and there is a cool breeze touching their skin. The boys walk in silence over the abandoned street. No cars, no people. Only them.

It may seem awkward when you see them at first, but when you experience it closely there's a comfortable vibe resting in the silence of the night.

One of the boys has a short sleeved shirt on, and the other is wearing a hoodie. The boy's naked arms have moonlight rested on them, it looks normal from a distance. But when you're closer you can see the white lines on the male's arms. People always look at them horrified. You can see their face go pale when they notice the scars.

But Christopher was the only one who looked at them differently. He admired the lines on his older brother's body. He found them beautiful, he always told his brother that they represent his story. And even though it wasn't a perfect way to carve your story in, It was there. and when you read it, it's the most beautiful story you've ever seen. So Chris reads his brother's scars until he knows the whole story from his head. And even then, he'll always continue to read it.

Christopher raises his head to see Matthew's face. It has tears in it. Every time he looks at the elder's face he could see the tears printed on his cheeks. It's probably because he has seen more tears on his brothers face than smiles. But it didn't matter.

To Chris, the scars where a sign of life. Proof, proof that his brother is surviving.

Matt also raises his head towards Chris and he gives the boy a soft smile. Matt smiles back. It's a genuine smile though, not one of those forced ones.

He moves a little closer to Matt until they bump their shoulders into each other. They slowly keep walking. There's no rush, there never is, there never should be. Christopher finds his fingers brushing against his brother's and he takes his older brother's hand slowly in his own.

Matthew lets it happen, enjoying the gentle touch from his sweet brother.

Chris fidgets a little before he finds himself intertwining their fingers and holding Matt's hand tight, while also being as soft and gentle as he possibly can.

Now they're walking over the road while holding hands. It may seem like a tiny gesture but to them it's like the world would fall apart if they'd let go. Without realizing it themselves, they help each other wake up every single day. Help each other keep going in the world, they keep each other safe in the cruelty of humanity. with only touching hands.

The two brothers don't even know where they're headed to. They'd probably have to do an awkward turn when deciding to head back and return to their home. But in that moment nothing matters. Nothing seems more important than simply holding hands and enjoying the light of the moon resting on their pale faces.

Matthew watches as his brother's head moves upwards, towards the sky. The clouds decided to disappear so the sky was filled with countless of beautiful stars. Chris admires the stars mindlessly.

"Matt." Chris says. Voice relaxed, as if there is no care in the world. Matt's body relaxes even further at that tone. He slightly swings their hands while giving Chris' a little squeeze.

"You're just like the stars." Matt furrows his brows at that. Knowing how much of a yapper Chris is, he'll probably say something silly. But instead he says, "you don't see them much but when you do, they're beautiful." Chris smiles while lowering his head to look at Matt's face. Matthew doesn't seem to understand fully, which Chris seems to notice.

"Because of you're smile!" He laughs. "I almost never see you genuinely smile, but when you do I can't take my sight off it." Matt laughs softly at that. "You're corny.. but also sweet." They lock eyes and Chris smiles proudly.

Matthew loves that spark in Chris' eyes. It always showed when he was genuinely happy, and everyone who treated him well could receive it. For Matt, it was the most priceless gift in the world. Seeing that spark in the younger's eyes. He always notices it, even when it isn't meant for him. He could hang out with a friend and give them that genuine piece of his happiness. Almost no one ever notices it, but Matt does. And he loves it when his brother is happy like that.

Chris slowly loosens his grip on Matt's hand and they slowly slide down to where they belong. But Matt couldn't deny that the feeling of his hand dangling at his side was a little uncomfortable. Neither could Chris.

So Chris grabs Matt's hand again and abruptly stops the walking. He pulls Matt closer to him. Matt didn't expect any of that so he unintentionally slams his body into Chris's, luckily Chris did expect it and pulls Matt close in a hug. One hand grabbing Matt's head and the other holding him close from his back.

Matt is confused for a second and then he realizes Chris is hugging him, so he melts into his brother's chest and wraps his arms around Chris' back. He feels Chris running his hand through his hair gently while still holding a firm grip on his back.

They stay like that for a while In the middle of the road, hugging like it were their last moments together. Chris didn't want to let go, he wanted to keep Matt in his arms for the rest of eternity. At least then he'd be safe. At least then, Chris could protect him from all harm. The slim, fragile body in his arms he wants to keep safe forever. He never wants to let go, he really doesn't. He hopes Matt also doesn't. He hopes Matt wants to be in his arms just as much as Chris wants him to be.

"I would die for you Matty." Chris confesses. His voice soft and low. He hides his face in Matt's fluffy curls while still running his hand through them gently. Matt melts further into Chris' chest, enjoying his body heat and the pure feeling of protection that Chris radiates. His heart warms at the words Chris just spoke.

"I love you  more than myself." He whispers quietly, almost too soft to hear. But Chris heard him. He knows for sure that Chris heard him, because Matt can hear Chris' heart skip a beat and he squeezes him tighter.

After a while they pull away from each other. Both feeling extremely cold all of a sudden and missing the hug. Matt wishes he pulled Chris back into the hug again. He wishes they'd never let go. they lock eyes again. Neither of them saying anything. There's nothing to be said, nothing they want to say. They silently agree on making the awkward turn and start to walk back to their home.

This time they're not even walking ten seconds before Matt gently grabs Chris' hand. Chris smiles and lets it happen, grabbing his hand back. Matt holds his hand tightly, genuinely afraid to let go while Chris rubs his hand.

The moon and the stars still danced across the night sky in peace. The night was beautiful, but it was even prettier because of the two boys walking back to their house in the moonlight. And Christopher was grateful that Matt was comfortable around him, Chris was the only person Matt wore short sleeves around when he's not melting of heat.

And Matt is grateful that Chris is so understanding with him. He always admires how gentle Chris can be when he really wants to. And then Matt realizes that Chris would actually die for him. He holds Chris's hand tighter and walks a little closer to him. Only someone who loves you would do that, right? And then he comes to the realization that Chris actually does love him, he knows Chris had told him so many times before but now he finally realizes Chris told the truth. Chris loves him. And at that he smiles.

"Peebee." Matt giggles.
Chris looked at Matt, confused for a second before laughing with him.

"loverboy."