Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Insert Name Here (LMAO)

Harder Daddy:

Harder Daddy:
@God THOUGHTS?
God:
... What the actual hell is that?
Pop My Cherri:
FUCK ME IN THE ASS BECAUSE I LOVE JESUS! THE GOOD LORD WOULD WANT IT THAT WAY!
God:
Contrary to popular belief... I don't give a fuck. Lucifer literally had a threesome with Lilith and Eve and I couldn't care less.
Lilith:
... Hold on.
(Lilith added Eve to the chat)
Dick Master:
FUCK YOU! WHY?
Lilith:
@Eve wanna have a threesome again? It's been fucking ages.
Daddy Issues:
DISCUSS THIS SOMEWHERE ELSE PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!
Eve:
Fair point. @Lilith @ShortKing, let's talk elsewhere.
(Eve has left the chat)
Short King:
... And she added us to a group call... Gotta go!
Daddy Issues:
Damn it. I need to wash my eyes out with bleach.
Squeak:
... Same. I didn't need to know about that.
Whiskers:
... @DaddyIssues don't act like you haven't fucked before. You aren't as quiet as you think you are.
Vagina:
... Yeah, we really need Lucifer to hurry up with those walls. Babe, you are fucking loud.
Pear:
So... She's a bottom?
Mouth:
LMFAO, why is that your immediate thought?
Harder Daddy:
Are we shocked though? She gives off bottom energy.
Screen Queen:
AND YOU DON'T?
Dick Master:
You guys want to know who would definitely be a bottom?
Danger Tits:
... I already know you're going to say me, and my response to that is... You don't know shit.
Dick Master:
CALLED IT!
Vagina:
Yeah, that response isn't helping your case.
Danger Tits:
I'm on my way to fucking kick your ass.
Kayden:
Please tell me your friend isn't coming with you? He kept bugging me last time he was here.
Danger Tits:
He's not coming. You're good.
Pop My Cherri:
OK, but can we keep discussing relationships because...
(Pop My Cherri added ZESTIal to the chat)
Carfight:
... Choose your words carefully.
Pop My Cherri:
... I'm rethinking my decision.
Screen Queen:
No, because there's definitely something between the two of them. @Carfight, be honest bitch. Are you and @ZESTIal a thing?
ZESTIal:
Her and I are good friends.
Carfight:
Exactly. Nothing more, nothing less.
Screen Queen:
BULLSHIT! FUCKING BULLSHIT!
(ZESTIal has left the chat)
Carfight:
... I'd like to have a meeting with you. Just the two of us. Normal place. Be there in 30 minutes.
Screen Queen:
... Bye everyone. Please come to my funeral. @DangerTits, beat the shit out of Vox if he shows up.
Danger Tits:
Who the fuck said I'd go to your funeral?
Screen Queen:
... Oh.
Whiskers:
... I think you genuinely upset her.
Pear:
Yeah... Her face fully fucking dropped.
Big Ass Forehead:
@ScreenQueen SEE? NOT EVEN YOUR TRUSTED EXORCIST COUNSELOR CARES ABOUT YOU! SHE PROBABLY JUST USED YOU OR SOMETHING! YOU FELL FOR IT! YOU'RE A DUMB BITCH!
(Danger Tits has removed Big Ass Forehead from the chat)
Danger Tits:
@Carfight she might not be able to make it to that meeting. Don't hold it against her. It's on me.
Carfight:
... Noted.
Vagina:
She just walked out of the door. You're a bit too late.
Danger Tits:
... No I'm not. I'm outside.
STAB:
You look like you're kidnapping her. LMAO
Squeak:
You kind of do... Just, less violently than I'd expect.
Kayden:
... Off topic but... Anyone wanna do a puzzle with me? I'm bored, and I found a puzzle.
Daddy Issues:
Sure. Why not.
Vagina:
I'm almost afraid to ask what the puzzle is...
Freaky Face:
It's one of a bunch of cannibals eating someone. It's my puzzle.
Squeak:
... WHY?
Vagina:
Yeah, that's why I was afraid to ask. I knew we didn't have any damn puzzles.
Kayden:
It's also 5000 pieces... Who's joining?
Daddy Issues:
I still am. I'm assuming Alastor is joining since it's his puzzle?
Freaky Face:
Nope. I'm going to meet up with a friend. Enjoy the puzzle.
Squeak:
... I'll join. Just... I'm sorry if I get grossed out. I'm not used to that kind of stuff...
Harder Daddy:
I'm great at puzzles. @Whiskers and I are joining.
Mouth:
I usually love puzzles and would love to join, but Pera and I are going out.
Pop My Cherri:
Actually, it's a double date. @TwoDicks and I are going too.
Vagina:
To all of the fuckers doing the puzzle, I'm grabbing snacks.
Screen Queen:
I'll grab drinks... Not alcohol. I'm not good at mixing that shit. LMAO
Daddy Issues:
Are you OK? I'm guessing you and @DangerTits made up?
Danger Tits:
It was a misunderstanding. I was fucking joking when I said I wouldn't go to her funeral.
Screen Queen:
I may have... Overreacted a bit. Either way, I'm still going to that meeting with @Carfight.
Carfight:
It's not necessary.
Kayden:
... There's a piece missing. A leg.
Freaky Face:
It's in the top drawer next to the stove in the kitchen. Niffty put it there.
STAB:
I like hiding things.
Lilith:
Who wants to hear the details of our wonderful group call?
Dick Master:
SHUT UP! FUCKING WHORE!
Short King:
You're just pissed I got both of your bitches.
Harder Daddy:
I'm guessing you're all gonna have a threesome? FUCKING FILM IT! IT'LL SELL!
Lilith:
... Yes, and no.
Daddy Issues:
STOP! FUCKING GROSS!
Pop My Cherri:
I'm willing to bet that the three of you are kinky as fuck. Like, no vanilla shit.
Squeak:
... I'm out. Bye.
Kayden:
Let's just do the puzzle...
Lilith:
@PopMyCherri you want details?
Pop My Cherri:
... More like I want ideas.
Lilith:
Anyone who wants details/ideas, send 👨🏼‍🦲, and I'll add you to a group.
Pop My Cherri:
👨🏼‍🦲
Harder Daddy:
👨🏼‍🦲
Screen Queen:
👨🏼‍🦲 I like knowing shit. LMAO
Vagina:
... 👨🏼‍🦲
Daddy Issues:
VAGGIE! WHY?
Vagina:
Reasons.
Lilith:
Anyone else?
Danger Tits:
Add Adam and mute him just to piss him off.
Dick Master:
You're fucking fired bitch.
Danger Tits:
Am I supposed to give a fuck? The exterminations have literally been cancelled. What fucking job was I doing anyway besides that?
Whiskers:
Exterminations were actually cancelled? I'm shocked, but not.
STAB:
It would be really awkward if exterminations were still going on considering this chat... And the amount of times @DangerTits has been here since her first coffee date with @Vagina.
Vagina:
Niffty, no... Coffee date? Definitely not.
Danger Tits:
Damn, that would be awkward. "Let me fucking slaughter all of you while I think about the time we played Cards Against Humanity."
Screen Queen:
... You'd spare me, right?
Vagina:
I SWEAR TO GOD BITCH! IF YOU SAY YES, THEN YOU'RE A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!
Danger Tits:
@ScreenQueen Yes, I would. And @Vagina, fuck off.
Carfight:
... @ScreenQueen I told you the meeting wasn't necessary. Why are you walking into the building? And, who's with you?
Screen Queen:
I brought backup. I'M GETTING TO THE BOTTOM OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ZESTIAL!
Carfight:
Backup?
Danger Tits:
I was dragged here against my will.
Screen Queen:
Bullshit. You said yes when I asked you to come.
Carfight:
@Whiskers, I'll be coming to the hotel tonight for drinks. I think I'm going to need it.
Whiskers:
... I'll keep that in mind.
Harder Daddy:
Wow... Carmine has been pushed to drink. That's actually fucking funny.
Two Dicks:
I wonder what she's like while drunk.
Pear:
I guess we'll figure it out tonight...