Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Random Shit

Squeak:
... Did he just ask if you want a kiss when he gets back?
Vagina:
... Fucking what?
Whiskers:
Who the hell were you trying to send that to?
Squeak:
... I did not mean to send that to the entire group. I meant to send it to @DangerTits.
Danger Tits:
I fucking hope he didn't ask that.
Harder Daddy:
Can we get context?
Danger Tits:
... We're all just sitting around doing absolutely nothing... Which I fucking hate by the way... And Adam's dumbass left to get something, and it sounded like he asked me... Whatever the fuck that was.
Squeak:
It sounded like he said "Do you want a kiss when I get back?"
Screen Queen:
...
Lilith:
... JEALOUSY! It's close enough to envy. You should hang out with Leviathan.
Screen Queen:
I'M NOT FUCKING JEALOUS!
Danger Tits:
Sure you're not. Explains why you just sent me a message saying "I swear to God if he tries anything, I'll crack his dick like a glow stick".
Pop My Cherri:
FUCKING EXPOSED BITCH!
Screen Queen:
... I fucking hate you.
Danger Tits:
No... No you don't.
Two Dicks:
Why is there a list of names that are paired up on the wall?
Short King:
That is my shipping list!
Daddy Issues:
... FUCKING WHY?
Whiskers:
You have nothing to worry about. You're in a relationship. The rest of us... LUCIFER, ERASE THAT SHIT!
Short King:
As the King of Hell, I command you to fuck off.
Kayden:
... Why am I on the list with Emily?
Short King:
... Some ships on there are platonic. Don't worry.
Squeak:
SPECIFY THAT ON THE LIST THEN!
Screen Queen:
Can I add a ship to the list?
Big Ass Forehead:
I swear to fucking Satan himself if you do what I think you're gonna do, I'll fucking kick your ass.
Danger Tits:
No you fucking won't.
Screen Queen:
I already did it... And, @FreakyFace I put that shit on there to piss off Vox, not to disrespect you.
Freaky Face:
... I'm unaware of what we're talking about, but noted.
Lilith:
Oh, Lucifer... I found something that reminded me of you and I need to give it to you.
Pear:
You're off somewhere. What could you have possibly found that reminds you of Lucifer?
Lilith:

Mouth:
... Oh my fucking God.
Short King:
TINY DUCK!
Daddy Issues:
Where did you even find that?
Lilith:
... In some random guy's pocket.
Harder Daddy:
LMFAO, I want details.
Lilith:
I will not be giving any.
Dick Master:
HA! YOU WERE TOTALLY CHEATING! YOU DID IT ONCE! ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER!
Lilith:
... I technically didn't cheat. I left your ass before Lucifer and I fucked. LMAO
Vagina:
Adam... Don't accuse my future MIL of cheating.
Daddy Issues:
... Once again, is this your way of proposing?
Vagina:
No. That's still insulting that you think I'd propose like that.
STAB:
Besides... What if she's not the one who proposes?
Mouth:
She will be... I think Charlie would overthink it, back out, try again, back out again, and the cycle would continue.
Vagina:
You're not wrong.
Lilith:
... You wanna know how Lucifer proposed to me?
Dick Master:
NO! SHUT UP!
Danger Tits:
Stop being so damn bitter. How long has it been? Seriously, get over it.
Vagina:
BITCH! You hold grudges too. Don't act like you get over shit quickly.
Danger Tits:
When I hold grudges, it's justified.
Vagina:
... You held a grudge against someone once because they looked at you the wrong way. You call that reasonable?
Lilith:
Would you two shut the fuck up?
Harder Daddy:
LMFAO, damn. She's done with your bullshit.
Lilith:
No... I love drama. I want to tell the proposal story though.
Short King:
... It was a magical proposal.
Lilith:
... *Clears throat* So, there I was, sitting under a tree, thinking about how fucking awful nature smelled. Seriously, that tree was gross. Anyway, I see a figure approaching from the distance. It's Lucifer, and in his hand, he holds... Something.
Whiskers:
... Why are you writing this like it's some dramatic narration.
Roo:
Because it probably is a dramatic narration in her head.
Lilith:
SHUT THE FUCK UP! Anyway, he gets to me and he just stands there, with the stupidest look I've ever seen on anyone's face. He inhales abruptly, throws the object into my hand while practically choking out the phrase... "You, marriage, myself, take the duck... Be my wife". And, yes... The object he used to propose was a rubber duck, which looked like me. I won't lie, it looked fucking fabulous. Either way, weird experience, and for some reason, I accepted. And now... Here we are, thousands of years later, with a complicated, but fine, relationship. I say complicated because... I did kind of disappear for 7 years. LMAO
Daddy Issues:
... You've got to be fucking kidding me. The only reason I exist is because that interaction happened?
Pop My Cherri:
LMAO, HE COULDN'T EVEN ASK THE QUESTION PROPERLY!
STAB:
... Not a bad boy.
Vagina:
Niffty, he's still the King of Hell, and shit... He kicked Adam's ass.
STAB:
Yeah, but I stabbed him! Can I do it again?
Danger Tits:
Go ahead.
Dick Master:
I'm getting your ass permanently sent to Hell. Then, you can be with your shitty girlfriend.
Screen Queen:
I'M NOT HER GIRLFRIEND!
Dick Master:
Who said I was talking about you? That response shows that you either are her girlfriend, or you wish you were.
Danger Tits:
... Would you shut the fuck up for once?
Squeak:
... And now they're screaming at each other. I feel like I may be in danger.
Two Dicks:
... Someone's making food. Come down here and get some.
Harder Daddy:
Hell no. I'm making food for myself.
Big Ass Forehead:
@Carfight Since you're the designated Mom of the Dumbass Hotel Crew, go make them dinner.
Carfight:
... I'd rather come to your location, destroy that flat screen you call a face, find a way to acquire your soul, and rip that to shreds. You have no authority over me. Don't act like you do.
Pear:
I love having her in this chat.
Kayden:
... What's for dinner though?
Vagina:
I guess it's one of those typical nights where everyone just finds their own shit to eat. However... I want a grilled cheese, so if anyone else wants one, just tell me.
Screen Queen:
... Fuck yes.
Daddy Issues:
I'm with her on that.
Squeak:
Same... I'll be down there as soon as I find a way out of the maze of stuff that's been thrown.
Vagina:
... Screw it, I'm just making a fuck ton then.
Lilith:
Hell yeah. I'm 5 minutes away.
Mouth:
I still want to know how you found something in someone's pocket.
Lilith:
... He tore his pants in half while running away from a flaming tire, and I saw the tiny duck fly out of his pocket. Happy now?
Roo:
... A flaming tire?
Short King:
I don't give a shit... TINY DUCK!
Danger Tits:
@Squeak, turn to the left and keep moving. You'll be free from the bullshit.
Squeak:
... That's a lot of blood...
Danger Tits:
... She fucking fainted. I guess I'm bringing her ass down there.
Daddy Issues:
... Please don't just throw her. No offense, but I feel like that's something you would do.
Danger Tits:
You're not wrong... That is something I would do, but I'm not going to.
Dick Master:
FUCK YOU!
Screen Queen:
... His ass is still conscious?
Danger Tits:
No... He set that message to send automatically.
Freaky Face:
... Why do I have an odd feeling that something bad is happening to Vox?
Carfight:
... Your intuition is impressive. He had it coming.
Whiskers:
... What did he do, and what did you do?
Carfight:
... That's a discussion for another day.
Lilith:
I was going to send a message alerting you all of my presence but... Lucifer spotted me and nearly broke my fucking ribs. Is he happy to see me, his wife? NO! He wants that fucking duck!
Harder Daddy:
Is that why he flew through the window, which needs to be fixed by the way...
STAB:
I'M ON IT!
Two Dicks:
Excuse me Vagatha... Could I request one of those grilled cheeses?
Vagina:
That's still not my name, but fucking whatever. I already said I'm making a fuck ton.
Dick Master:
Yeah, I would know. Once again, I named her after the best thing ever.
Roo:
What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
Dick Master:
What's wrong with liking pussy?
Vagina:
... Why is his ass conscious again?
Danger Tits:
... I'm not going back up there. Just mute his ass.
Squeak:
... Where am I?
Harder Daddy:
WELCOME TO HELL! The place you've been several times before! Give us a good review when you leave, alright? Don't forget to mention the sexy mother fucker, AKA me, in the review!
Daddy Issues:
... What the actual fuck?
Squeak:
... I just want that grilled cheese.
Vagina:
... Some are done. Anyone who wants one, come get one. If there's not enough, which I'm pretty sure there's not... I'm making more.