Hazbin Hotel Group Chat

Meeting Fail

A/N: Not that anyone gives a shit, but I've been screwing around on Etsy and I remembered that people literally go on there and sell/buy letters from their favorite/comfort characters. Why the fuck am I tempted to start selling that shit? I could make money just by writing stuff... Like, it would be personalizable, and hell... I'd enjoy it because I like writing, and I'd get money. LMAO

Short King:
... THIS MEETING IS SHIT!
Pop My Cherri:
What fucking meeting? Please tell me you're not just sitting in a circle with 20 rubber ducks and calling that a meeting.
Lilith:
No... All of the sins met up and I guess it's going poorly.
Daddy Issues:
Dad, you're supposed to be running the meeting.
Short King:
Mammon and Satan have been fighting about something stupid since they got here... AND A CERTAIN BITCH IS DRUNK AS FUCK!
(Screen Queen has added Buzz Buzz to the chat)
Screen Queen:
@BuzzBuzz I'm assuming it's you who's drunk and BITCH... GIVE US DRUNK UPDATES!
Buzz Buzz:
I'm not drunk... I'm intoxicated. Totally fucking different.
Harder Daddy:
Good thinking. I'd rather get drunk updates rather than Lucifer's updates because he's probably upset his meeting failed miserably.
Short King:
FUCK YOU! I bought you tacos the other day. Be nice to me!
Harder Daddy:
I was being nice... Isn't being honest a good thing? LMAO
Buzz Buzz:
HOLY SHIT! Belphegor is now pissed at me because I asked her to you know, lend me some good drugs.
Short King:
... You said, and I quote, "Bitch, give me the good shit or I'll steal it".
Buzz Buzz:
... Whatever. At least Asmodeus is on my side.
Lilith:
... Where the fuck are you fuckers? I want to come make this meeting worse.
Buzz Buzz:
... I don't know but you need to come and deal with your husband. He just fucking yelled at me. 😭
Short King:
... I literally just yelled, like when people scream into a pillow. I wasn't even facing in her direction. And before you ask, yes... She's drunk sobbing now.
Whiskers:
@DangerTits Like you did that one time I'm assuming.
Danger Tits:
... Shut the fuck up.
Vagina:
I still want to know what happened that night.
Daddy Issues:
I just remember truth or dare, people fucking, crying, and waking up the next morning to a mess and a headache.
Pop My Cherri:
Sounds like a normal night to me.
Two Dicks:
My dear... Get therapy.
Pop My Cherri:
Respectfully... No.
Harder Daddy:
I want to get railed.
Mouth:
Keep that to yourself. Fucking too much information.
Pear:
That's expected when it comes to him though.
Harder Daddy:
I MEANT I WANT A BAGEL! NOT WHAT I SAID!
Squeak:
... Because that makes sense?
Dick Master:
How does bagel come out as railed? You probably just want to get railed, and you're trying to cover it up. Bottom bitch.
Harder Daddy:
... Why are you so bitter? I'm a famous pornstar. Why would I hide the fact that I want to get railed. I'd scream that on the roof.
Vagina:
... And he's actually doing it.
Freaky Face:
... Is that why there's a line of horny assholes outside?
Harder Daddy:
... Is there a dick up your ass or something?
Whiskers:
... It's supposed to be stick up your ass.
Harder daddy:
... There must be a dick up your ass too. It's not mine though... So who's is it?
Whiskers:
... What the actual fuck?
Vagina:
Are you two fucking?
Whiskers:
Hell no, we aren't.
Dick Master:
Good... Ew, gay.
Buzz Buzz:
... You've just never had good anal.
Roo:
... FUCKING WHAT?
Lilith:
She wrote that shit out, and is currently laughing her ass off, but still drunk crying.
Short King:
Screw it... We're discussing our bet on the official confirmation of Phonespear.
Daddy Issues:
What the fuck is that?
Screen Queen:
... I hate that so fucking much. I'm fucking posting it.
Danger Tits:
Don't you fucking dare.
Screen Queen:
... Please?
Carfight:
... @DangerTits The fact that she even considered saying the word please to you... I don't know how you got her to be like that, but I highly respect you for it.
Danger Tits:
LMAO, I didn't do shit.
Dick Master:
Yeah, you fucking betrayed me and the entirety of Heaven. You did do shit.
Danger Tits:
Can you shut the fuck up? I'm kind of busy hearing this bitch beg me to let her post... Whatever that shitty ship name was.
Screen Queen:
IT'S SO BAD, IT'S GOOD! PLEASE!
Short King:
I give you permission because... I said it.
Pop My Cherri:
No offense, but a few months ago, you had no idea what shipping was. I doubt you came up with that. Someone came up with it, then you just repeated it.
Short King:
... Whatever. Either way, I brought my ship list and we've been discussing ship names.
Big Ass Forehead:
... Can we elect a new King of Hell? He really schedules stupid ass meetings like that?
Buzz Buzz:
Shut the fuck up peasant. You have no right to speak that way about him.
Mouth:
PEASANT! 💀
Lilith:
She gets like that when drunk... LMAO, I'd usually say ignore it, but for once... Her saying that was justified.
Big Ass Forehead:
I'm sick of all of you treating me like shit. I'm a successful overlord, and half of you aren't shit compared to me. You have no right to treat me the way you do.
Harder Daddy:
Cry me a river you Apple reject.
Screen Queen :
APPLE REJECT! 👨🏼‍🦲
Big Ass Forehead:
Oh, you want to agree with him? Hey @DangerTits, are you aware that this stupid bitch posted that ship thing and it's gotten thousands of views already. Hell, it's trending. How does it make you feel that she went against your wishes.
Danger Tits:
... Are you fucking serious?
Screen Queen:
...
Squeak:
He's being honest. I'm looking over Charlie's shoulder right now and it's all over Sinstagram.
Dick Master:
HELL YEAH! BETRAYAL! YOU DESERVE IT BITCH!
Vagina:
... It's on the fucking news. LMFAO, that homophobic ass reporter looks like she's about to explode while she's talking about it.
Kayden:
... @ScreenQueen That wasn't nice... At all.
Screen Queen:
I POSTED IT OUT OF HABIT! I POST MY THOUGHTS ALL THE DAMN TIME! I WASN'T THINKING! I'M SORRY!
Two Dicks:
... Well... I'm guessing that bet has been determined now.
Short King:
Damn it... I owe Satan and Belphegor fucking $400.
Pop My Cherri:
Our currency is souls, right? Why do we keep using fucking dollars?
Short King:
Because... I don't fucking know.
Danger Tits:
Stop betting on that shit, and you owe them nothing.
Screen Queen:
... She's outside of my window and I think I'm about to die. Did anyone bet on her killing me?
Vagina:
... I mean, I made a bet that she'd kill someone, but I already lost that. It only lasted a week, and she didn't kill any of us so...
Daddy Issues:
I told you to have faith in her...
Vagina:
... Faith really isn't my thing. LMAO, I'm a fallen angel for a reason.
Short King:
... So I don't owe them money?
Danger Tits:
... Stop fucking betting on this shit. No.
Screen Queen:
... I'm sorry...
Danger Tits:
It's fine... Just open your damn window or I'm going to break it.
STAB:
I FOUND A BAD BOY!
Lilith:
... WHEN THE FUCK DID SHE GET HERE?
Buzz Buzz:
... She's talking about Satan... LMAO, she's weird. I like her. I think I'm gonna fucking pass out though.
Short King:
This meeting was a massive fail.
Lilith:
No... It was great. LMAO
Mouth:
Have the meeting here next time. I want to witness the massive failure.
Short King:
... Hell no.