Huskerdust oneshots yayyy

The missing boot (P)

"YOU FUCKING DICK!" 
Angel screams, throwing a glass bottle at the bar, letting it smash loudly. The glass shards flew all around it, and a scratched dent was left in the counter.

"The fuck was that for?" Husk hissed back, not flinching away from the seething spider as he continued to clean a glass. 
"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BOOT, YOU WHISKERED LITTLE PRICK?" He yelled back, bashing his fist on the counter, narrowly missing a dangerously sharp piece of glass. 

"Boot? What are you-" Angel cut off Husk's question by slamming his long leg up on the counter, wearing a black boot with pink laces up to his knee. He then brought his leg down and threw the other leg up, which wore nothing at all. 
"MY FUCKING BOOT, YOU FERAL FREAK! GIVE IT BACK!" 

Husk looks at Angel with the kind of baffled annoyance a person would have if their friend told them they were going back to their ex who killed their parents, ate their sister and cooked their cat in a barbeque. "You think I took your shitty ass boot? I ain't wearin' that tacky piece of junk." 

"HEY! VAL BOUGHT ME THIS!"
"Yeah, what I said, now can you take this hissy fit somewhere else? Charlie ain't gonna be happy when she sees the shit you did to the bar." 
Angel glares at the bartender, practically frothing at the mouth from how pissed off he was.
"I ain't cleanin' shit 'til you GIVE ME MY BOOT BACK!" 

Husk sighs and places the decently clean glass down, grabbing a bottle of booze and taking a swig. "Well I ain't got your stupid boot! Fuckin' christ.. where did ya last see it?" 
Angel sits back and tries to use his itty bitty peanut brain for a split second, but gives up quickly because he got a headache. 
"I don't fuckin' know, all I know is that I want my boot back." Angel rolls his eyes, scowling to himself and slamming one pair of hands on the counter while the other pair fixed his hair from his mini-outrage. "Val wants me to wear them for a shoot in an hour and I can't find it anywhere. Last I checked, you know a fuck ton of bullshit about everyone at this crumby hotel, so I assumed you knew where it was. Then I assumed you had it. Then I assumed you took it. So, you took my boot."

Husk blinks one eye at a time, taken aback by Angel's stupidity. "..You do realise you sound fuckin' crazy, right?" He says, slowly so the lanky porn spider can understand him. 
"I'm not fuckin' crazy!" Angel retorts, sitting up straighter to show some kind of authority over Husk - that authority being height, because Husk didn't care for porn (boring, I know).

"You want your boot back? Find it yourself, cus I've got one hell of a mess to clean up cus of you." Husk dismisses him, placing the booze down and beginning to sweep up the shrapnel of Angel's outburst. 
"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, pussycat, you're not getting away that easily." Angel hisses, climbing up onto the counter, swinging his legs over and crawling over to Husk, placing a hand on his cheek with a sour-sweet smirk on his face. "You're gonna help me find this boot whether you like it or not, kitty. Y'know why?" Angel asks rhetorically getting closer to Husk's unflinching bitch face. "Because if you don't, I'll drag you along to my shift and offer you up as fresh meat for Val. And I know more than anyone how much Val loves fresh meat. He'll get Velvette to pretty you up with some artificial bullshit, grab a couple of nobody twinks from the street and make you get fuckin'."

Husk growls and shoves Angel off of him, already disgusted by his fairly vague descriptions. "Alright, alright, I get it, you can shut up." He groans. Angel grins and gets even closer to him than before, leaning up to whisper in Husk's ear. "Oh I don't think you do, baby. They'll rip off those pretty little braces of yours and throw you onto a dirty bed with a desperate bitch boy, waiting for you to shove your dick into his pathetic little ho-"
"WOULD YOU SHUT UP, YOU DIRTY FUCKIN' FREAK! GOD, I DON'T NEED TO KNOW ALL THAT SHIT!" 

Angel giggled evilly to himself as Husk washed his mouth out with a cheap spirit, glaring up at the suspiciously voluptuous-yet-skinny spider before him. "You want that fuckin' boot? Fine. We'll find your fuckin' boot." 
Angel sat up quick as a boomerang, smiling broadly. "Thanks, kitten whiskers~"

________(45 minutes later)

"How the fuck did we get here." Husk asked himself, covered in Orbeez, blood and mayonnaise. Angel stood next to him, gaping at the monstrosity in front of them. 
"....If anyone asks.. we had nothin' to do with it."

The cat shook off his wings, attempting to clean himself of the evidence of the massacre they just caused. "All this shit and we didn't find that fuckin' boot, too..." He sighs, massaging his forehead in a futile attempt to rid his hangover, taking a swig of his liquor to calm it. 

His headache only got worse though, because a small ball rolled towards the pair, quickly letting off a large explosion, sending shrapnel flying towards them. Husk used one of his wings to shelter himself, his other wing spreading out in front of Angel as he crouched down and hid behind it. But, a familiar laugh brought him back up quickly.
"Angie, what the fuck happened here?" 

Cherri Bomb walked through the mess carelessly, smirking and tossing a bomb between her hands before throwing it behind her, letting it explode loudly. Husk glared at her but brought his wings back behind him, brushing himself down as much as he could. 
"Seriously, Angie, what'd you do? Fuck someone's husband again, you crazy bitch?" She asks, elbowing him while cackling to herself. Angel rolls his eyes and laughs with her, treading lightly as he walked towards her because of his single barefoot. 

"Nah, I wish! What're you doin' here anyways, I thought you were on the other side of the pentagon or some shit?" The spider asks, making Cherri perk up. 
"Oh right, I knew I forgot something! Here, you left this with me when we went clubbing the other night." She tosses him something from behind her back, her laughter being cut off by nearby gunshots and screams. "Oh, sick! Sorry Angie, I'll see you tonight!" 

Cherri ran off excitedly, leaving Husk and Angel to inspect the item she threw at them. 
There, on the floor in front of them, was Angel's missing boot. Also covered in Orbeez and blood and mayonnaise. 

"....I fuckin' hate you."
"I know, whiskers."