Wildest Dreams

Chapter 15

Ik I am late again. Another chapter for y'all.

I hope that you are doing well in this hot summer. Drink much water and make sure to stay away from junkies as much as possible.

Feel free to point out my mistakes since the chapter is unedited.

"The unknown feelings"

KIARA

People make mistakes. I am not exceptional. I have made a fair share of mistakes in my life and I own them up to it. Even so, my bipolar self can't seem to just simply adjust the fact that it is completely fine to let go of some people who have caused me nothing but trauma and misery.

After the unexpected outburst of me and the huge confrontation between me and Reyansh and the absolutely shocking revelation of his breakup with Sara, I have been feeling a whirlwind of emotions. I don't really want to feel bad after saying those bitter words to him or breaking the tie with him after everything he has put me through unknowingly. Nonetheless my stupid self can't simply let go of this matter and feel guilty for suddenly humiliating him and confronting him without knowing the entire truth. I feel anxious, frustrated, guilty and angry at the same time. The compassionate part of me is mourning for cutting Reyansh out of my life like this and the other rational side of me finds it right.

"Kiara"

I turn around to face Tina who has a questioning look on her face. Her experience quickly replaces with a look of concern when she probably notices my swollen cheeks and moist eyes.

"What happened, Kiara? Did Reyansh hurt you?" She asks me when I nod my head in 'no'. I try to swallow the lump that has formed in my throat and take some deep breaths. Without saying anything in response, I find myself moving forward towards her as I embrace her tightly dipping my face in the crook of her neck. She stiffens slightly before wrapping her arms around me when I break into sobs.

"I hate this, Tina. I hate how vulnerable and sensitive I am. I hate how I can't learn the art of letting go of some certain things which have caused me nothing but misery and pain. I hate myself for feeling guilty and bad because I have broken all the ties between me and Reyansh. I hate myself because I have shouted at him and accused him with names questioning his character when he has done nothing wrong. I hate myself for jumping into conclusions without listening to him. I hate myself because I am already missing him when I know that we can never have anything in the near future."

My tears almost soak the fabric of her shoulder straps of her white dress. I immediately pull away, feeling guilty for causing the mess. Wiping my tears away, I make a foot distance between us and look down at the ground.

"I am sorry for spoiling your dress." I lower my eyes in shame, my fingers fidgeting with each other.

"It's fine, Kiara." She releases some air when I look up to meet her eyes again.

" I don't know what has happened between you two but I can guess what is going on between you both. Reyansh is now going through a tough phase due to Sara's betrayal and I am not going to blame him for anything right now." I stare at her with a curious look when she mentions about her knowing regarding the breakup of Reyansh. Seeing my expression, she gives a curt nod in my direction.

"Yes, I know what has happened and why they have broken up. Listen, Reyansh can be a total asshole sometimes and an extremely intolerable jerk for real but I am not going to deny that the girls he has dated are pure shit heads and have no characters. I know that I am not supposed to take his side but I am just being a practical person without taking anyone's side." She explains, her face filled with a look of horror as if she is being afraid of my judgement about her.