~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟐𝟏. Depressive episode.

Hellow guyss!
So ehm.. this is kinda 3200 words.. yippee I guess! Anyways, I put these random quotes in this and I don't really know why because I just thought it'd be fun, but this is actually just a 'normal' two days. Soo enjoy!

T.W. therapy, depression, panic attack, death, mentions of mental hospital, fluff, fucked up sleep schedule, exhaustion, pasta, throwing up, crying, eating disorders, crying, bodyshaming, nicknames, huge character death, screaming, blood, people getting hung, panic attack, whimpering, nightmare, sweat, wet rag, maze runner, Chris and Nick being the best siblings in the world, quotes.

Relax no one actually dies.

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You can wipe away someone,s tears but not their pain.
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Matt sighs when he walks out of the small therapy office. He just had his first therapy session and it was just like he expected. Talking talking and more talking. Like that'll make anything better. If Matt wants to talk he can just talk with his brother's, he doesn't need a therapist for that. If he was in Nick or Chris's place he would've brought himself to a psych ward already. Although he's scared to death to be in a psych ward. He's glad Nick and Chris decided not to bring him there, he just doesn't really understand how they're going to help him. Matt doesn't see the light anymore. The world is dark, even when the sun shines. He feels the need to cry every single minute of every day.

Nick and Chris are with him as much as possible. They're always by his side. Helping him eat, helping him change, holding him when he sleeps, comforting him when he randomly breaks down again, holding his hand when he has a panic attack. Matt didn't ask, they insisted on never leaving him alone. Always keeping an eye on him and always making sure he's honest when something's wrong. Matt is secretly grateful for it. He knows he can't get through this alone. He can't wish for more supportive brother's. They mean everything to him. And that they're still here and taking care of him proves the amount of loyalty and love they have for him.

He walks out of the building with heavy eyes. He can't stop thinking about the look his therapist had on her face. He's never seen such an amount sympathy on someone's face. Although Matt doesn't like the idea of therapy. He instantly noticed how she understood him, how she listened and how she could be trusted. Yes, it's her job to do be like that but Matt has never met someone that empathetic before.

He looks over at the car where Nick and Chris are sitting in. It's nine in the morning, he was in there for an hour. They both notice him immediately. He walks to the car, opens the door and gets in the passenger seat. Chris has just gotten his license so he's in the drivers seat.

"Hey! How was it?" Chris asks when he gets in the car. Matt knows he doesn't have to say anything about it to them. It's a question they wouldn't mind him lying about it, nor would they ask further. It's a question but nothing more than that. It's not a conversation, not a topic, just a question. Matt is extremely grateful for that.

"Fine, I guess." Matt brings out with a weak smile that makes his eyes look even more exhausted. He sees that Chris and Nick are slightly relieved at that and Chris lays a hand on his shoulder for a moment. "Alright." He says while smiling at Matt. "How are you feeling?" Nick asks him. "Tired." Matt answers once again. Nick and Chris share a look. Every time they ask him how he's feeling Matt answers with, 'tired'.

"You wanna go to bed when we're home? We can also go the the couch or go to one of our rooms." Nick says with a slightly worried tone in his voice. "I just want to sleep." Matt says, exhaustion clear in his voice. Nick and Chris nod in response, worry growing in their stomach.