HIS DOLL

87- Breakdown

A few days passed and I didn't step out, everyone obviously glared at me but didn't utter a single complaint. Finding a pinch inside me, I found myself being suffocated in the room so I went to see Mother.

"Mother?" Calling her, I entered slowly.

She frowned and rolled her eyes. Lowering my gaze in embarrassment, I walked to her, lowering my head.

"Are you angry with me, Mother?" I asked, a strange sorrow wrapping me.

"I want to be but Zaviyaar has strictly forbidden all of us to show discontent. My sons loves you madly, for that sake, I am silent," She sighed, placing her hand over my head but didn't say anything.

Forming my lips in a thin line, I sat on the bed, clutching her sheets while not lifting my eyes from the ground.

"Aalifa," She called me sternly.

"Yes?"

"Why? Is that couldn't make you happy at least then why?" Her tone softened.

My lips quivered, my throat dried as I told her honestly, "I.. I thought doing that would lessen the weight on my chest."

"What weight?"

She was baffled as I hadn't expressed that grievous side of mine with anyone else except Zaviyaar.

I pretended to be smiling and nonchalance with everyone.

"I have married my fiancé's murderer, if you remember, Mother."

My voice broke, loosening my grip on myself with an endless pain. I found that numbness taking over me, turning me blind as I continued.

"Okay, I was not in my senses before but now that fact is wrapped around my throat like a rope now."

"And to find redemption, you thought doing that would help?"

Compassion emitted when she realized I had my own reasoning to do that. I found myself so guilty that carrying on was harsh.

"I think I have made terrible decisions. I shouldn't have tried for the baby-"

I was about to express my worry again but she sighed. I was perturbed about it's future and Mother was constantly trying to reassure me.

"Dear, at least don't blame the child. Maybe that baby will bring you close and become both of your solace, right?"

"I guess," Nodding, I knew she would do anything to convince me.

And I detested myself to think that way. What the fuck was wrong with me?

"I.. I should go," Clearing my throat, I got up.

"Are you feeling better?" She smiled.

"How is the case going?" I changed her question as nothing got better.

"You should remember that money and power rules this corrupted world. Guess who won?"

"Expected." Smirking back, I left.

She smirked dryly, well aware of where that pathetic attempt of mine would lead. But, of all things, that brought a scar on his immaculate image.

People had come to know that their 'Ideal' wasn't how they imagined him to be, at least.

After talking with Mother, I was about enter my empty room but my heart skipped a beat. My throat dried, I found an abrupt fright taking over my nerves.

"Huff," Taking a deep breath, I entered, closing the door behind.

Wrapping my arms around my body, I was about to sit on the bed but hear a voice that had been echoing in my mind constantly for a while.