HIS DOLL

95- Playground

*** AALIFA NIYAZ ***

In the streets, we were walking, holding hands while I was contemplating the beautiful place I had always dreamt to visit.

We were currently in another city Bordeaux, he wanted to show me the Place de la Bourse.

The air, the architecture of the building was beautiful.

"Ah, I am tired, my feet hurt." I groaned, stretching my arms. He showed me so many historical places along with monuments.

"Me too. Let's go to a nearby park and don't worry, my hands are present to massage those feet," He smirked, winking at me.

"You and your talks," I chuckled as we sat down on a bench.

I hoped to gain solace, glancing at him from time to time, being here, bearing with all of my demeanor.

Wrapping my hands around his arm, inclining my head against his muscular shoulder, curling my lips upwards.

I couldn't express but being close, or laughing with him sometimes felt... hurtful.

"I am so selfish, aren't I?" I mumbled, looking up at his handsome face, smiling lovingly at me.

"Who isn't, Aalifa?" He sighed, rising from the seat, taking me to a nearby stall as we got some ice-cream.

"We are all humans in the end, we sin, we repent. We do good and bad things. Nothing is all the same,"

He tried to explain to me as sweetly as possible, hoping I could apprehend.

But- "Am I ever going to be forgiven? I hate myself so much," I mumbled.

Eating my ice-cream before it could melt and to melt me like this ice-cream, he pinched my cheeks.

"Almighty forgives."

"But, if you continue to hate yourself and ruin yourself, you might not be forgiven."

He continued with his aesthetic grin, wiping the corner of my lips before finishing his ice-cream in an instant.

"You have to understand, Aalifa, people make mistakes, make wrong decisions, but you can't carry that guilt for eternity and destroy your future."

Murmuring, his strong arms wrapped around my shoulder, pressing me into him to provide me with equanimity, moving circles with his thumb.

"I.. am trying,"

"I can do anything for you, Aalifa, please, give me a chance," He whispered sincerely in my ears, turning me to him.

His large hands gripped my shoulders for assurance, staring intensely at me with a hint of hopelessness.

"I am scared, Zaviyaar. I feel our bond is cursed, I feel horrible sometimes,"

And then lowering my gaze out of shame, I confessed the unwanted embarrassment I had been carrying.

"I feel like touching you is a sin,"

He was taken aback, leaving my shoulders instantly that caused me to flinch because those same hands could keep my sanity in control.

If I won't hold him, I would scatter too which came with a heavy price-

"That us being here, together is wrong. I don't want to feel that way but it just happens. I am so sorry for feeling this way."

My voice broke, tears pricking in the corner but the guilt inside me had been suffocating me. I was unable to continue or grow this bond.

The regret won't let me.