~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟐𝟒. My sweet boy.

I'm forcing myself to write fluff right now😭😭

T.W. depression, crying.

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𝑰 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒐𝒓 𝒖𝒏𝒍𝒐𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒅,
𝑱𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒆..
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Matt is now finally recovering from depression. It's a slow process and it's hard, but he's slowly getting a little better everyday. He's still exhausted though. Can't stay awake for long and sleeps more than fifteen hours a day. But he seems to have more energy when he is awake and his relationship with eating and hygiene is slowly getting better. Nick and Chris love taking care of Matt. They love that he lets them help him now. Love that he's starting to tell stories and love that he asks for help when he needs it. The nightmares have died down and his eyes are slowly getting their color back.

He cries almost every night before he goes to sleep. Mostly about exhaustion and getting overwhelmed from the amount of progress that he's making. He hates brushing his teeth in the morning. Mostly because he needs to look in the mirror for it. Most of the times he cries when brushing his teeth. In the morning and in te evening. But it's okay, because Nick and Chris are always there to comfort him, and to tell him he's beautiful.

Matt seems to get along with his therapist surprising well. She's a good listener and somehow always says the right thing to him. They've been talking about his self harm issues, Nick and Chris, his parents, his career and lots of other things. She always hears him out and seems to really understand his feelings. Matt sometimes questions himself if she ever went through something like this too.

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𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒅𝒚, 𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏'𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖?
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"Are you tired?" Chris asks his brother who has his head rested on his lap. He looks exhausted but somehow so peaceful. Matt looks up at Chris's face. He smiles. He's clearly exhausted but Chris has never seen him so relaxed before. Chris softly returns the smile and runs a hand through the boy's hair. "I love you.." Matt says softly. His voice quiet and gentle. Chris can see Matt is on the verge of falling asleep. "I know baby, I love you too." Chris responds. Matt hesitantly bites his lip. "Can you get me a blanket?" He asks shyly. Chris breaks into a affectionate smile. "Are you cold?" He asks while grabbing a blanket from the other side of the couch. Matt just hums in response. Chris throws the blanket over Matt's body and then leans forward to kiss him on the forehead. He sees that Matt is struggling with keeping his eyes open and tries to stay awake. "You're exhausted sweetheart, go to sleep." Chris says soothingly as he lays a hand on Matt's cheek. "I'm wide aw'ke.." Matt mutters which makes Chris giggle. "Are you?" He asks. "Mhm.." Matt hums, blinking a few times. Chris keeps gently rubbing the boy's cheek while watching over Matt, admiring his relaxed state. "Yeah you are." He smiles.

And then something suddenly changes in Matt's body language. His relaxed and peaceful state getting disturbed. Like dark clouds taking over the sunny sky. Like a candle getting blown out. Matt rests his eyes to prevent Chris from seeing his tears. But Chris knows how Matt closes his eyes when he has to cry, and he also knows it's not uncommon for Matt to suddenly start crying at night. So Chris leans over Matt and cups his face in his hands, which makes Matt's eyes open again. His eyes are indeed glistening and full of tears. Chris feels his heart break. "What's wrong baby?" He asks in a sweet tone which instantly makes tears stream down the elder's cheeks. Quiet gasps escape his mouth as tears stream down the side of his face. "Shh, shh." Chris soothes gently as he strikes his hands over Matt's face in a comforting manner. "It's okay, don't cry." He says sweetly. "Take a deep breath bubba," he watches as Matt takes deep breaths with him and the gasps slowly dissolve. "Good job Matty! You're doing amazing, I'm so proud of you." He smiles. Matt smiles back and takes another deep breath. Not even five minutes later Matt has returned to his relaxed, peaceful state, still with his head on Chris's lap.

"I'm tired now.." Matt whispers. Chris responds with a smile. "Yeah?" He asks. "Yeah." Matt answers sleepily. "Well go to sleep then bubba."

"Will you stay with me?" Matt asks his younger brother. Chris smiles while running his hand through Matt's soft hair. "I'll always stay with u Matty." He whispers. Matt breaks into a weak smile and leans into the touch as he slowly falls asleep. The younger's eyes rest on his brother. His state being so soft and fragile. A pleasant expression on his face while he sleeps for the first time in probably years.
His Matty resting his head on his lap and pretending like they're the only ones in the world.
He loves his Matty, He always will.

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𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒃𝒐𝒚.
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