~Mental pain~ Matt Sturniolo

𝟐𝟓. ALL I WANTED WAS YOOOUUUUUUUUUU

Hellow

Still forcing myself to write fluff😍🫡🤧

This is basically a chapter about how Matt works himself into a really severe panic attack and Nick helps him.

First thing I wanted to say is that I have never had this severe panic attacks before so this will probably not be how it is in real life. I've only experienced anxiety attacks before but the difference between those two is BIG. So I hope no one is offended here.

Next thing I wanted to say is that somewhere near the end there's something about Nick and Matt being all cute and stuff. Keep in mind this is a Nick+Matt chapter. So I don't want any of y'all's little fingers to type the words: what about Chris? Where's Chris? Chris:🧍. No. I'm not having that today. You can do that with any other chapter but not this one. Please.

I've also noticed that a lot of the time when I write fluff there's at least two times where it's almost like the two are going to kiss each other... just ignore that I'm not doing any romance here. (I'll never do.)

And lastly is that English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if I used a wrong word in a sentence or if my sentences don't make sense. Don't blame me, blame the weird ass country I live in.

Anyway I love you all and I hope ur having a great day or night. I'm so grateful for y'all commenting on my stories because I love reading them and it keeps me motivated to write. Also if you commented and I didn't like it it's because of wattpad not me.

𝐻𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑛 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑎𝑏𝑖𝑒𝑠！
✨💗✨💗✨💗✨

(I don't know where that rant came from.)

(I also don't know where babies came from)

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𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒌𝒊𝒅𝒔,
𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖.
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Nick is walking back to Matt's room when he suddenly hears gasps and cries coming out of it. He immediately slams the door open, only to be welcomed by Matt sitting up in his bed, crying and hyperventilating. Nick instantly walks up to Matt and pulls the blanket off him. "Hey, hey, Matt breathe, take deep breaths." He says while grabbing Matt's wrist and trying to make eye contact with Matt. "Matt." Nick voice gets firmer. "I need you to look at me." He gently lifts Matt's chin up to look at him. Matt is still panicking and looking around the room wildly, like he's searching for something. When Nick lifts his chin up and they make finally eye contact Matt is in disbelief for a moment. "Nick?-" he gasps out, feeling disoriented. His voice breaks and Nick can already hear the tears in his throat. "Yeah it's me, it's Nick. Can you breathe for me babe?" He says calmly. Matt attempts to nod and take deep breaths but it only seems to get worse. "Nick!" Matt whines when he realizes the oxygen gets thinner by the second. Tears start streaming down the boy's face as he grabs around, trying to find Nick. "Nick!" He yells again. Nick immediately grabs the boy's face and makes him look at him, but Matt doesn't even notice the touch and keeps yelling his brother's name. "Matt! Matt, I'm right here bubba, I'm here." Nick soothes, worry and stress lacing through his voice. Nick grabs Matt's shoulders and runs his fingers through his hair before taking Matt's hand and pressing it against chest. "Matt, breathe okay? Copy my breathing." Nick tries. "N'ck" Matt gasps again. Nick groans out of stress. "Yeah it's me baby." He lays a hand on Matt's cheek to soothe him. Matt flinches from the sudden touch and quickly grabs Nick's arm. Nick then realizes Matt's too stressed and worked up he can't see him. "Fuck!" Nick yells. He grabs Matt's hands again and holds them while trying to tell Matt he's right in front of him, when that doesn't work he runs to the bathroom, grabs a rag and quickly wets it before running back to Matt.

Matt is now gasping even more and full on crying. Just when Nick runs in the room again he brings his hand too his arm and pinches his skin in the hope it'll make a distraction. Nick immediately notices it and quickly takes Matt's hand away. "Matt, I'm going to hold this rag against your face okay?" Matt just sobs loudly and tries to bring his hand to his arm again but Nick stops him. He gently presses the wet rag against Matt's cheek which makes him instantly flinch away and grab his face. He then feels Nick's hand on his face and starts to grab Nick's arm, making him realize someone's with him. "Matt? It's Nick baby, you're safe." Nick says while dabbing the rag over Matt's face.
Matt's gets his vision back for a second, seeing Nick in front of him. The panicking doesn't stop though, Matt is completely out of it. Gasps are leaving his mouth and he grabs his chest tightly while Nick says things to him he doesn't understand.

"Matt stop trying to pinch yourself!" He suddenly hears a voice yell which makes him flinch and looks up to Nick. "Nick!" He cries out. "What is it baby, what do you want me to do?" Nick asks desperately, understanding that Matt is wanting something from him. "Nick-" Matt gasps. "I- please, just hold me Nicky, please.." Matt sobs while desperately trying to look at Nick. Nick's gaze softens and immediately scoots closer to Matt. "Yeah, yeah of course c'mere." He says while throwing an arm around Matt's shoulder and pulling him in his chest, hugging him tightly while he gasps and cries. "Shh." He soothes. He pushes Matt close to his chest and gently moves some of his dark, soft hair behind his ears. The elder rests his head on his brother's head while he softly strokes his cheek and whispers calming words in an attempt to make him stop panicking. Matt desperately holds on to Nick, wanting to be held and wanting to realize he's safe. His sight is still blurry and he can't see a lot but it doesn't matter now because all he sees is the blue hoodie Nick is wearing. He feels like his lungs are failing him. He feels like he's dying. You have to breathe to live right? Well Matt only feels the oxygen slip away from him. Gasps begin to mix with desperate whines and cries for help. His sight gets blurred over more and he suddenly feels his heartbeat in his throat. He can hear blood rushing through his body, he can hear his ears ringing. He feels Nick pushing his hand away from his skin again.

"I can't, I can't breathe-" the boy gasps while bawling his eyes out. "Yes you can- follow m' breath-" he hears. 'Follow Nick's breathing' he feels Nick's chest steadily rising and falling. He tries to copy it but it's harder than it sounds. But after a while he starts to get the hang of it and slowly his lungs start to obey him again. He can now see the texture of Nick's hoodie and the stains of tears on it. He also hears Nick now. "Good job bubba, you're doing so good." His brother praises him. He feels a wave of relief wash over him at the sound of Nick's sweet voice. "Nick.." he struggles to bring out. "What is it sweetie?" Nick asks him while gently running his hands through his hair. "Im scared-" the younger chokes out, his whole body shaking. "You don't have to be Matty, I'm right here." Nick tells him. Matt nods tiredly while crying his eyes out and letting soft, exhausted whimpers escape his mouth. Nick wraps his arms even tighter around his baby brother and kisses him on the top of his head, protectively holding his head against his chest.

Matt lets himself melt into the touch of Nick, leaning forward when Nick rubs his hairline and closing his eyes when he wipes his tears away. The pure feeling of protection radiating from Nick making him feel finally safe in his arms. His eyes slowly run out of tears and the gasping and crying finally stops. After a solid half hour Matt is still leaning onto Nick's chest, closing his eyes and simply just enjoying the elder's presence. Nick wishes he could hold Matt like this forever. Keeping the boy safe from his own thoughts and soothingly embrace him until he's in dreamland. "Know you're always safe with me, okay?" Nick says after the long silence. Matt feels a warm, fuzzy feeling inside of him. Like someone just embraced his heart. He sinks even more in Nick's chest when he feels him starting to fidget with strands of hair that are close to his face. "Okay." Matt answers, his voice hoarse. Nick gently removes the weak boy out of his hold and cups his face with his hands. "I love you." Matt says softly while looking Nick in the eyes. Nick smiles at him, looking at the younger's exhausted eyes. He looks like he's about to fall asleep right this moment. Tear stains everywhere and blue eyes now being grey. But somewhere in his eyes is a small sparkling, a small place with hope and love. Matt will be fine as long as he has the protection of Nick. He's sure of it.

"I love you more." He then lets go of Matt's face and he instantly drops his face in Nick's chest again. Nick smiles and throws his arms around Matt again, pressing a kiss on the top of his head. "Sleep." He then says. "I'll fight the bad dreams off if they come to get you."