THIRTY

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She was too thin again

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She was too thin again. Even with a jacket on, it was evident. Her appetite had been non-existent after Penny passed, and in the few days we’d been apart, I knew she wasn’t eating. She was suffering as much as me.

When I arrived at the small cluster of cottages, I parked far enough away I wouldn’t alert her to my presence if she was, indeed, there. Walking onto the beach, I spied her right away, a small, huddled mass on the sand, staring into the horizon. She looked lost and tiny, and the need to go to her, lift her into my arms and refuse to let her go, was strong. I had never felt anything that intense until today. However, I resisted, knowing I needed to approach her cautiously. She had run once, and I didn’t want her running again.

We stood, staring at each other. I began to head toward her — slow, wary steps, until I was in front of her, inches away. Up close, she looked as ravaged as I felt. Her brown eyes were bloodshot and weary, her skin paler than ever, her hair limp and dull.

“You left me.”

“There was no need to stay.”

I frowned. “No need?”

“Graham had already waved your probationary period. Penny died. You didn’t need the cover of our marriage anymore.”

“What did you think I was going to tell people, Roseanne? How did you expect me to explain your sudden disappearance?”

She waved her hand dismissively. “You always tell me how good you think on your feet, Lisa. I assumed you’d tell them I was overwhelmed with losing Penny and went away to clear my head. You could string it along for a while, then tell them we’d been having problems, and I decided not to come back.”

“So you expected me to blame you. Lay it all at your feet.”

She swayed slightly. “What would it matter? I wouldn’t contest it.”

“Of course not. Because you weren’t there.”

“Exactly.”

“But it did matter. It does matter to me.”

Her brow furrowed as she watched me.

I took a step forward, wanting to be near her. Needing to touch her, worried at how fragile she seemed to be.

“You left things behind. Things I would think were important to you.”

“I was going to contact you and ask you to send them — wherever I ended up settling.”

“You didn’t take your car or bankcard. How were you planning on accessing the rest of your money?”

She stuck out her stubborn chin. “I took what I earned.”

“No, you earned so much more, Roseanne.”

Her lips trembled. “Why are you here? H–How did you find me?”

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