the great war, spencer reid [ 2 ]

076. saturday

Spencer and Madelyn are spending the alone together at the order of their therapist. They already had the day off and Eliza took Theodora and Lucy for the day, even including Robin.

"Why are we at a park?" Bedelia softly laughs.

"You've been wanting a big pretzel. What better place?" Spencer questions. Bedelia gently smiles, leaning up and pecking him on the lips.

"You're the best." Bedelia states.

"Hope you feel that way in a while when we're grilling each other." Spencer chuckles and Bedelia lets out a small laugh.

+++

"And then the axe comes down and that's when I wake up." Spencer says, the two sitting at a table in the park while they eat their soft pretzels.

"How long have you been having this dream?" Bedelia asks.

"A little while." Spencer admits.

"Wha-- Spence." She frowns.

"We have two kids at home." Spencer reasons.

"Yeah, who go to bed at, like, 8 or earlier." Bedelia says. "We don't sleep until 10 or something."

"I just... I didn't want to worry you. Plus, I thought it'd go away, but it hasn't." Spencer says.

"Okay, well, do you recognize the guy with the axe?" Bedelia asks.

"No. It's like an anonymous face." Spencer says, frowning.

"Well, something's stressing you out." Bedelia says. "Which, with our job, is completely beyond understandable. I mean, you know, like, last week, Luke and I almost die by a bomb. Plus, a few months ago, you had me giving labor and having postpartum hemorrhage. Which was scary for you. And we're still kind of getting used to two kids instead of one and we have less sleep since we have a newborn."

"And around that time... JJ also almost died and confessed again. And then months ago, there was the hostage thing with the whole... thing." Bedelia says.

"I've only been having the dream for a few weeks." Spencer says.

"You know, the, um... well, of course you know it, but, uh... cortisol. The flight or fight thing. Or freeze. You just have to find a way to ignore it." Bedelia says.

"How?" Spencer asks.

"Well, that's entirely up to you. Whatever would help." Bedelia says.

"Reading. Or being around you. Being around the girls helps, but there's times I just realize how innocent they are and know they won't be that way forever so that just sends me into a spiral." Spencer says.

"Robin could help. Dogs are very good at comforting." Bedelia says.

"I'll keep that in mind." Spencer says.

"We can just have one big cuddle party one night. Tonight, probably." Bedelia offers.

"That sounds nice." Spencer says with a small smile.

+++

"So... regarding you know who." Spencer says and Bedelia groans. "You think somebody should tell Will?"

"I don't know." Bedelia sighs. "I mean... on one hand, he deserves to know. But on the other hand, maybe he should just be a blissful idiot. You know? I mean, he's happy. He deserves better, but he's happy. Besides I'm not sure if I'm positive I want to tell him for his own sake or just to fuck JJ up."

"Besides, both of these confessions were months ago. So... I don't know. Every outcome makes me feel guilty as hell. I mean, all of us know. And we see him quite often, so just... lying to his face. I... I don't know."