GONER

9 • Brothers and Decapitation

Eventually, we had to climb down, face the other half of the world that wasn't that great, and go through the rest of the day. Dennis was in some of my classes in the morning, but he didn't pay attention to me earlier because he wasn't wet at that point in time. Now, though, I had never been more thankful for not seeing him. The look on his face when we ran from him was horrifying. But I've experienced greater fear. He didn't scare me as much as he should.

"You should come over," Josh said suddenly as we walked out of last period. At his words, my entire body almost went limp. I had always prepared brutally for this moment, scared it would come and really scared it wouldn't. I hated that feeling. Not knowing what you want until it's already been decided for you.

"M-maybe I should j-just n-not g-go to the g-game, y-you know?" I stammered out, my eyes on the ground. I felt like such an idiot. But the thought of being in someone's house made me want to cry. What if I broke something? What if you weren't supposed to wear shoes on the carpet and I kept my shoes on and I got kicked out? What if they had a dog? All dogs hate me.

My mouth was going dry, and my throat was closing up. Going to someone's house is like signing your own death warrant. It wasn't ever good for me. I've been to someone's house twice in my entire life. Once, there happened to be an entire group of people there, and they spilled nacho cheese all over me as soon as I got in the doorway. Everyone laughed at me and took pictures as I stood there in shock, the hot liquid running down my body. The second time was a bit after, and a dog scratched me really, really badly. Later, though, the person admitted to everyone in the school that they just felt bad for me, which I was sure of. Who wouldn't? And after that, I was universally ignored.

Well, not universally, but it might as well have been.

"Woah, woah. What's wrong?" He stopped walking, his eyes meeting my wide ones. I could tell that my face was red and that I was shaking a bit, but I couldn't really stop on command. Espcecially when he was looking at me so deeply. All the work on keeping my composure today was evaporating. With Dennis and the water bottle and new boytoy and now this damn invitation, it was getting a bit difficult to breathe.

"N-nothing," I coughed. "It's, uh, allergies. It's allergies."

"Do you always have such severe allergies?" He asked, a perfect eyebrow raised. Oh my god, he still smelled perfectly. It didn't calm me down at all, unsuprisingly.

"Yeah," I breathed, shaking my head to try and calm myself down. "I-I'll come over. But will anyone else be there?"

"Yay," he smiled, knocking his shoulder with mine. "And not at my house, no. At the game, yes. Just those people I told you about earlier. My closest associates."

I must've looked scared again, because he put his hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently. His soft fingers over the material of my shirt made me gulp, and he smiled. "Don't worry. They'll love you."

No they won't.

I mean, why would they?

"So, you're down?" He asked happily, bouncing on the balls of his feet. We hadn't started walking again yet, and I just nodded, attempting to cease the trembling. I felt like an earthquake. But, I guess I was. Destructive and selfish and random.

"I'm down."

"Sweet!" He shouted, making people turn to look at us. "Okay, text your parents or whatever and tell them I'm kidnapping you until after the game."

"They trust me enough to know I'm not getting into trouble."

Translation: My mom and I aren't speaking, but she knows I'll come home soon enough.