GONER

14 • The Reminder

A/N: IM NOT SURE IF IVE SAID THIS BEFORE, BUT I LOVE THE FRONT BOTTOMS SO FUCKING MUCH ITS NOT EVEN FAIR. I went with the song I did for this chapter for a reason, so if you would listen to it that would be great. I love The Front Bottoms a lot. By the way, the lyrics are so freaking significant in the song so {just a hint of some kind lmao I'll leave now}

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My mom's car smelled like lake water, dirt, and Burger King now. It was a strange and beautiful mixture that I don't think I would ever be able to get enough of, even if it starts to sicken me after a while. The smell of grease and air conditioning hung in the air as we sat on the side of the road, chewing eagerly and talking as if we had absolutely no where to be. It was Friday, though, and so we had no school tomorrow. Which was good. That meant I could, technically, be out here for as long as possible.

The Fued by The Front Bottoms had been on repeat for a while now, ever since we had stopped to get food, but I didn't mind it at all. The song was kind of beautiful in a slightly ugly way, and it would forever remind me of tonight. The singers voice was unique and scratchy, but it soothed me well, strangely enough.

Josh screamed the words to the song as he finished off his last french fry, dancing in his seat and nodding his head. I was already done with my food, considering its one of the only full meals I've had in forever, and sipped on my soda, trying to surpress the smile on my face. I couldn't really fight it, though, and put my slightly damp sleeve over my mouth in a somewhat discreet fashion, biting my lip. My heart was thudding in my chest and I felt like crying for some reason as I watched him sit there, shouting the lyrics to the song, and just about everything else.

The streetlight we were idling under spilled its light on to us, and the sound of mosquitoes and crickets rang outside of the car in between the time in which the song ended, and then repeated again.

"Doesn't this feel fantastic?" He sighed, throwing his head back against the head rest. He laughed loudly, sticking his feet up on the dashboard. His clothes were relatively dry, unlike mine, and I smiled again, listening to him belt even more of the lyrics. "He is the sound you want now, and I am the noise you don't!" He shouted, throwing his arms around in the limited space. His hands hit the roof and we both giggled at the sound, and he shook his head, biting his lip.

"There's no space in here," he said suddenly, throwing open the driver side door. "I'm getting out."

With that, he gracefully stepped out of the vehicle and turned the radio up to a much higher volume. You could still distinguish all of the lyrics and the melody, and he danced under the streetlight as if he wasn't in danger of being hit by a car. The music flowed across everything and I knew he could hear it, and I swear to god, I was borderline mesmerized by him at this point.

"You were too good, I should've known. You were a prize my hands could never hold." He screeched, making me giggle uncontrollably.

The truth is, he makes me feel absolutely incredible, and I didn't know how else to put it. Just watching him with his slightly wet hair and small hands made me feel something I didn't know I could actually feel at this point. And, yeah, I consider myself in the recovery stage. I'm not hurting myself on a daily basis anymore, and I don't wake up wishing to I didn't exist that often anymore. Things are just a lot better, but that didn't mean I was happy all of the time. He just made me happy, and maybe I'll never know exactly why, but that was alright at this point. I haven't even known him long enough to be able to appreciate everything he was, but I was attempting with everything inside of me to understand it all.

The lake water and the football games and the Burger King and the music and the streetlights and his brilliance and everything. I wanted to understand everything. He was absolutely radiant and I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I watched him.