More than meets the eye

Chapter 19

Tobin's POV:

You are never fully prepared for when your world comes crashing down.

Even for someone like me who knows all too well about pain and disappointment, I should have seen the storm coming. My own mother threw me out of the house to fend for myself at the ripe young age of sixteen. I knew the signs but I ignored them. I should have been more aware or on guard so that I could have done everything I possibly could have to protect the one thing in my life I hold most dear..

I should have told her the truth from the beginning. I was supposed to protect her. She trusted me with her heart and I ripped it apart. I will never forgive myself for this, but even worse, the only person I ever cared about won't ever forgive me either.

And how could she? I'm a monster.

As I ran my fingers through my hair, I thought about how it all went wrong. I thought about how I ended up here on the beach with tears streaming down my face and a shattered heart. I thought about how I had only cried this hard one other time in my life. That was when I was kicked out by my parents.

My eyes were running out of tears which is pathetic. I clutched the bottle of Jack Daniels so hard that I thought it would break in my hand. I never brought it up to my lips though. Just couldn't find the strength. I didn't have the strength for anything anymore. She was my strength..

And I had lost her.

..

Tobin ran until she felt like her lungs would burst. She had no idea where she was going and didn't care. The tears blocked her view anyway.. when her lungs could not take anymore she stopped and when she realized where she was she collapsed in a heap and sobbed .. the pain in her chest unbearable... Her mind starts to reel and she remembers....

She remembered the beginning of that day vividly, for how can you forget the day your heart is broken? The funny thing about a broken heart is that it's not fatal. Though you wish in vain that it were...

~Flashback

The night after the game had been perfect and so had the next few nights after winning Alex the stuffed bear at the carnival. They had made love every night and fell asleep in each other's arms.. That morning she awoke earlier than usual to find the sun playing on Alex's beautiful face and in her hair. She was tangled up in everything Alex and all of a sudden it hit her.. right in the chest...the kind of hit that if she was standing would have knocked her to her knees.. She was home... Alex was home.. The tears began to spill and she started to shake.. She held onto Alex tightly and closed her eyes.

She couldn't lose her. She just couldn't.

"Toby?" the soccer player asked, feeling the other girl's movements. She turned herself around in her girlfriend's arms and saw the tears falling down her face. On instinct, she brought her hand up and wiped them away. "What's wrong baby?"

"I'm scared of losing you Lex...I need you in my life." The brunette frowned, wondering where all of this was coming from.

"You're not going to lose me I promise."

"Yes I am...yes I am."

"Tobin Powell Heath, you stop talking like this right now," Alex demanded. Tobin closed her mouth, but the tears still fell freely down her cheeks. The soccer player reached up to run her thumb over her face, wiping away the tears. "Don't you love me?"

"More than anything," the light-haired girl replied immediately.

"Then no more talk about losing anything. I'm here to stay okay? You don't have to be worried or scared. I'm yours Toby." Alex leaned forward and kissed her girlfriend's lips.