I Miss You // Luke Hemmings | ✔️

~Five~

I woke up with a huge headache the morning after my birthday. To make it worse a happy and cheery ghost Luke had woke me up, and was doing my head in.

I reached into the draw on the table at the side of my bed and got some pain killers. I took 2 down with my glass of water that's sitting on the table. "Luke could you shut up" I smirk. He laughs "nope, your fault that you have a sore head" he teases, he's right though. "No blame Cal and Mikey" I try to plant it on them. Ghost Luke just laughs at me.

I never win with him, never used to either. I'm too soft, give in too easily! Always will... Always have.

"What you going to do today then?" he asks me. "Erm, die..." I mumble as I flop back down into my bed. Ghost Luke is giving me a stern look now "you don't mean that babe". I sit up and stare at him "but I do because then I'll be with you, forever".

I turned my face into my pillow as I realised what I'd just said and the tears began to fall. Instead of the strangely comforting ghostly arm I expected to wrap around me, I just felt a cool breeze as Luke quickly fled out of my window, followed by the window slamming shut. Fuck! I went too far again.

***

I cried for what felt like forever and then sat on my bed, tears dripping down my face. I didn't know what to do so I resorted to the only thing I know...

Cutting!

I took myself into the bathroom and turned the shower on. I didn't really bother washing myself in the shower, just got the razor blade and drew it across my naked wrists and legs.

I breath a sigh of relief as the blood drips out and runs down the plug hole. It does make it better for a short while.

I get out the shower and dry myself off and wrap the towel around me as I go back to my room. I make sure to dress in jeans and a long sleeved Nirvana top that I know will cover the fresh cuts on my wrists.

I was in the shower so long that the bleeding has stopped but the cuts are still freshly red. I put some wristbands and my watch on to disguise the cuts.

I check my phone for the first time this morning. Well I say morning it's more like midday now. I have three messages from Michael and an answer phone message from Calum.

"From Michael:
Hey, morning Khy. Was wondering if you wanna come out today? x"

"From Michael:
You alright Khy? You wanna come out later? Let me know x"

"From Michael:
Khy? Answer me, you're worrying me x"

Oh fuck, I've been in the shower so long that Mikey's worrying about me. I better check the voicemail.

It's a missed call from Cal's number which half surprised me when it's Mikey's voice on the answer message. "Khy, I've tried texting what the fuck are you doing? Answer me or something. I'm calling off Cal's phone coz I thought you were ignoring me or something?"

I press redial once the message is over. Calum answers "Khyra! Mikey's been trying to reach you all morning what the actual fuck, you had us worried. Don't do that again Khy Khy!"

I hear Ashton mumbling in the background "what's it with everyone swearing today?"

I try my best not to laugh at Ash, I quickly compose myself "Cal, is Mikey still there?" I hear the phone being passed on and then the voice of the person that I'm dreading to speak to but also so desperately need. "Khy! Have you not heard of answering a text?" I hear Mikey ask, he doesn't sound angry.

"I'm sorry, I've been busy okay?" I sigh. "You, busy? That's a new one Khy" the way he says it is like he already knows what I've been doing and he wants me to confess. "Mikey, come to mine. I need you, I need your help.." I trail off as tears begin to fall again.

"Why?" He asks. "Just please Michael" I sob down the phone. "Okay I'm coming, don't get upset Khy". The line goes quiet, I know he's hung up.

***

It's not long before I hear the door opening downstairs, which is no surprise as Michael treats this place as a second home. I count his foot steps as he climbs the stairs. Just as he opens my bedroom door I fling myself into his arms.

His strong arms wrap around me and he brings me into him. "Shh, what's brought this on?" he looks at me worriedly. I look at him through my wet eyelashes and pull up the sleeves of my top. I look down at the floor feeling ashamed.

His strong hand comes under my chin and lifts my head up to look him in the eyes. "You've cut again.." He sighs sadly. "I'm sorry" I sob "I've let you and the guys down". Mikey smiles softly at me "you've not let anyone down Khy, just please let us help you stop this. We're getting so worried about you".

I bury my face in his 'Blink 182' shirt and sob. He holds me tightly and strokes my hair softly "let us help you, yeah?" I nod "I'll try, I'm sorry about this". He chuckles "it's fine, I love getting my shirts soaked with tears" he jokes. I smile at him, no matter how I'm feeling he always has something to cheer me up.

"Let's get you cleaned up and then you'll come out with me and the guys?" He smiles. I shrug. "You need to get out of this house Khy. I'm not leaving you alone here, you either come out with us or I get them here".

Damn he's so persistent. "I don't want to go out. But some pizza could help" I manage a smirk. Mikey grins "pizza and movie night?" he suggests. I nod. "I'll text Cal and Ash".

"To Calum and Ashton:
Movie night and pizza at mine today, come over when you can x"

It was barely seconds after I sent it that I literally got two almost identical texts back.

"From Calum:
Hell yeah! I'll be over now x"

"From Ashton:
Yeaaaa!! Be over in a min x"

I smile at Mikey "That's them in. Will you go get some drinks from the shop? I don't think I have much here" he smiles and nods.

***

It's not long after Mikey leaves for the shop, that Calum and Ash turn up together. Mikey helped me properly dress my wrists earlier so the boys can barely notice under my long sleeves.

Cal gives me a strong hug when he comes in "Cal any harder and you'd suffocate me" I joke. He smiles "just making sure you don't go scaring us again" he teases. Ash gives me a knowing look as if he knows what I did earlier.

I smile at Ash and he gives me a hug. When Cal has gone through to the living room Ash holds me behind "why did Mikey leave earlier?" he whispers. I shrug. Ash looks at my wrists and pulls one sleeve up, his expression is sad "Khy, gotta stop this" he says in a hushed tone. "You know it'll kill Cal if he finds out. He's easily emotionally attached" I look at the ground. "I know Ash". He smiles at me "okay we'll forget it for now, yeah?" I nod.

Mikey arrives with some big bottles of coke, lemonade and also some alcohol. Calum has picked out Insurgent and put it into the DVD Player. The boys have all took up their usual spots; Cal on the left hand side of the sofa, Ash on the single armchair by himself, Mikey on the right hand side of the sofa. That means there's a space for me between Mikey and Cal.

I ordered the pizza while Mikey was out so it came in time for the film. I set it them down in front of the boys knowing they'll be gone in seconds. Calum presses play on the DVD. Mikey had got everyone drinks and poured them.

Once Mikey had finished his pizza I caught him trying to steal a slice of mine but I slapped his hand away. I then noticed Cal giving me puppy eyes because we share the same favourite pizza. I gave into him and let him have a slice, I smirked at Michael as Cal took a slice.

Mikey scowled at me, I just laughed and cuddled up to my best friend. The cuddle soon turned into a group hug because Cal joined in.