I Miss You // Luke Hemmings | ✔️

~Ten~

{A/N - Probably about half way through the book now!! Hope you guys are enjoying it :)

***
{Few Months Later}

It's coming up to Luke's Birthday soon, I'm finding it hard. The boys and Mikey have noticed as well. I'm still keeping strong for them though, there's been times in the past few weeks where I've wanted to take to the razor blade but I've resisted.

Mikey has said that he and the boys will come to the cemetery with me on Luke's birthday. He wants to support me and I appreciate it but some time alone would also be nice.

I'm currently at mine cuddling with Mikey on the sofa watching Game of Thrones. His arms are wrapped around my waist and his chin is resting on my shoulder.

I'm not really paying attention to the TV. I haven't payed attention to anything for about two weeks now. I try to not let it show, I'm almost positive that Mikey has noticed but isn't saying anything.

It's only that night when we're getting ready for bed that I notice the mood shift in him. He seems like he wants to say something but I can tell he's wondering whether to say it.

I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist "what's the matter?" I say softly. He smiles slightly and places his hands over the top of mine "I'm worried about you baby" he turns to face me and wraps his arms around my waist "you've been so distant. Are you okay? Is there something I can help with?" His hand starts to play with a strand of my hair.

I shake my head "It's just my mind being on stuff, y'know. I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you worry" I hug him tightly and bury my face in his chest. "You know you can talk to me, you don't have to keep it all to yourself. I'm here for a reason, make use of it" he kisses the top of my head. I manage a small smile at him.

We got into bed then and he held me tight all night, I felt so safe. Even though my thoughts were running riot with Luke, I seemed to find a peace with Michael.

***

The following morning I woke up still in Mikey's arms. My head was resting on his chest and he had an arm wrapped around my back.

I didn't even have to look at the calendar to know the day. It's the day before, before Luke's Birthday! I close my eyes and try to just forget, I mumble to myself, I just want to forget for one second. I just need some relief.

Mikey is staring at me worriedly "babe, calm down" he soothingly strokes my hair and holds me close. The tears start to fall on to his chest. "Shh, shh, it's okay I'm here. I'm here, what's the matter?" He kisses my cheek and sticks his tongue out in mock disgust "eww salty" he jokes.

I love how even when I'm so low he tries his best to make me smile and 99.9% of the time he does.

"Tomorrow!" Is all I manage to sob out. He holds me tighter "you won't be alone baby, you won't be alone. I promise. I will be there, okay? So will the guys, we'll all be there together. For Luke" he kisses the top of my head "and there for you" he kisses my lips.

***

Later in the day Mikey and I go out into town to get something for Luke's grave tomorrow.

I just buy a bunch of flowers and a little card with a message on it. Mikey gets a mini electric guitar ornament to put on the grave.

I stare at the card in my hand sadly. I then look at my new boyfriend and see him with almost the same expression as me on his face. It hurts that I'm dragging a boy, who used to be so happy, right down into my dark pit of nothingness.