Ocean Of Need

❤️ 69 🩶 Ashes

12th June Continued...

We lay in silence in the bath for so long that the water gets cold. Then towel ourselves dry quickly. The after effects of the night hitting home. I feel lightheaded and woozy. 'I could sleep for a week.' I say.

'You might have to. We'll probably need to wait it out here for a few days.'

My skin erupts into goosebumps and I'm not sure it's because my temperature dropped in the bath, or if it's the idea of hiding out here with Mac all to myself.

'Go get something warm on Miss Lilah. I'll start up the wood burner. We need to keep you warm.'

In the bedroom I open up my bag, while he opens drawers and pulls out fresh clothes. I watch him through the mirror above the bed as he drags on a pair of jeans. The vampire teeth tattooed across his heart are obscured by a violet blue bruise.

'What happened to your heart?' I ask.

He stills, midway through buttoning his jeans, then says, 'I don't know. I think it was already broken when I came into the world.' He looks up at me through the mirror, 'Until I met you. It works just fine now.'

'Is that why you have the vampire teeth tattoo? To protect it?'

'No. It's not for my protection It's to warn other hearts from getting too close to it. My heart was a dangerous thing. Anyone that got close got hurt. Until you. It won't hurt you. You fill it, make it beat, make it sing.'

I bite my lip. Not quite sure where to put myself.

'That cat's got your tongue again,' he grins.

'No, it's not that... It's just, everything you said was so lovely... But...'

'But?'

'I was asking about the bruise across your heart.'

His eyes flick to the mirror and he sees it. A laugh erupts from him, 'Fuck, you got me talking in poems now too!' He touches the bruise and winces, 'I tripped and fell when I was leaving the club. Landed on a chair. Now get some clothes on, I'll get the fire going.'

I hold him with my eyes as I unzip my bag. Glancing down I see the tangle of crumpled clothes. Jameson's gold lighter glints in the mess of them. I start pulling out clothes but everything is knotted together. A notebook is tangled in a sleeve and flies out as I pull it. It hits the bed, a crumpled piece of paper falling from it. I catch the words, EMPTY ROOM.

This little ghost of a time that is over keeps coming back to haunt me. I pick up the paper and the lighter and head for the bathroom.

'Lilah? What's wrong?' He says following me.

I shake my head re-reading the poem as I hold it over the sink. Imagining how it bit his heart when he read it.

He takes it from me. 'Ah, this.' He turns it over, 'Empty Room? I don't understand?' He says, handing it back to me.

'I didn't write that. You wrote it. I went to the room to get the poem back before you could see it. That's when I found all your paintings were gone and this was on the floor.'

He shakes his head slowly from side-to-side. 'No. I didn't write that.'

'Roxy,' we say in unison. She didn't just clear the room, she made sure it was empty.

I flick the lighter, hold the flame to the paper and we both watch it burn. The paper curls, the flames dance, ashes fall into the sink. Mac turns on the tap and the ashes swirl down the drain. Still it burns. My mind flashes back to the day I showed Roxy the 'Empty' words. How heartbroken I was. All the things she said about Mac being a player. How she bit her lip to stop her tears. She said he was empty, that he was taking my power to fill himself up because he didn't have any of his own.

'Oh my god,' I whisper. 'She's the empty one. She's the one who feels powerless. And now I've left her for my family to find. They'll take everything from her.'

The flames get too close to my fingers and I drop the paper. It hisses as it hits the water.

'No they won't. She'll take everything they've got. She'll fill herself up. There won't be a brother left standing that doesn't fall into line with her. This is everything she wants. Power, respect, a place to belong. You may be sisters, but she's the one with the criminal mind.'

'And me? What am I?'

'You don't fit into any boxes, not anymore. Whatever you do, you'll make it your own.' That's one of the things I love about you.