sHiP rAnT {mostly muke lmao}

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THINGS BEFORE RANT

-SIDE PIC ACCURATE AF

-trigger warning; if you have an Otp other than Cake, or mashton, i suggest not reading bc this may offend you}

-also, comment things, hopefully yall agree}

-and shoutout to upinthe_hoodings for staying up with me til 3am every night to discuss cake and bash muke ily. The bold is her thoughts in txts she sent me-

Ok so we've been heated on this rant book, but maybe not entirely angry yet.

Let me start us off.

Okay, so remember when you were a quote 'fake fan' if you shipped 5sos romantically?? Because people were scared it'd turn out like larry?? (WHICH BTW WAS STUPID ENOUGH ON ITS OWN BC LAST TIME I CHECKED, CAKE AND LARRY ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIF SHIPS WITH TWO DIF FANDOMS BUT OK}

-not hating on larry, that was just the probably homophobic fans' excuses as to why it was 'wrong' to ship the boys together.-

so, way back when i didn't know this rule, and i got cyberbullied.

CYBERBULLIED FOR SHIPPING CAKE BRUH.

i had this 5sos fan account {rt if youve ever had one of these} and i posted a simple cake pic and BOOM, comments like;

'your (yes bad grammar) prob new to the fandom but we dont ship them together pls & thx'

'shipping is bad' (mind you, this persons account name was 'muke4life' and he/she's bio said 'muke is real.' tf.

'delete your account and stop this cake bullshit before you make into larry you fake ass fan'

and it goes on, and on.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE 5SOS FAM BEIN THE CHILLEST FANDOM
-which it is, i think compared to a lot-

Last time i checked this was America, and I'm as free as ash's/Harry's flowing locks Thx

I think now the majority of the fandom has accepted that shipping the boys together is a thing, and always will be. Plus, the past is in the past. I'm over it.

BUT WHY DO PEOPLE STILL FEEL THE NEED TO HATE ON OTHER SHIPS TO THIS DAY????

the whole Cake fandom bashes the muke fandom 25/8 so we're not really one to talk but OH MY GOD SOME CAN BE RUDE AF

once i was casually scrolling down my newsfeed (i do that a lot, i stalk yall) and i accidentally clicked on a book. i was like cool, i like rant books. so within two seconds it was clear this person was a muke shipper. and hated cake with a burning passion.

It was that day i realized just how protective i am over cake, and how dangerously invested i am in them.

IT WAS A FUCKING CAKE HATEPAGE WITH VARIOUS MUKE SHIPPERS AND WRITERS HATING ON OUR PRECIOUS BABIES

like we can call muke puke all we want, but id never start a hatepage. i like keeping the peace so i reframed from commenting it was SOO hard guys.

THEIR ARGUMENTS WERE WEAK TOO

CAKE SEEM MORE LIKE BROTHERS (ahem, i think you're thinking of lashton where they legit share dna)

CAKE ARE TOO AKWARD AROUND EACHOTHER
(are you talking about muke bc cake are always eyefucking or blushing or giggling around eachother and you can tell muke isnt 100% over whatever they fought about in highschool so)

I JUST SOMETIMES AM CONFUSED ON WHY PEOPLE DONT SHIP CAKE

IT SHIPS ITSELF, LITERALLY. MY RELATIONSHIP GOAL IS TO HAVE SOMEONE LOOK AT ME THE WAY LUKE DOES TO CALUM PLSS

DONT GET ME WRONG, READING OTHER SHIPS ARE FUN, AND WE ARE FREE TO SHIP WHATEVER SO I THINK WEN IT COMES TO UR OTP PPL WILL NVR REALLY UNDERSTAND BUT YOU

BUT WEN MUKE SHIPPERS INSULTCAKE JM LIKE I JUST MUKE IHHJ BOTH APPEARANCE WISE AND THE WAY THEY ACT JUST NOO

I.DONT.UNDERSTAND.

Malum Tho, i actually really love and my theory is that Mike is jealous of ️Cake but at the end of the day, Cake are still the winners.

((bc cal tweeted last on Luke's Bday and a lame one at that bc exhausted af from all the birthday sex ha))

GABBY THOUGHTS: 'Muke shippers shouldn't even try because it's so obvious that Luke hates what Michael says all the time when he's making fun of Luke. Honestly Muke shippers are taking a whole bunch of nothing and trying (and failing) to make something out of it'

Ok so basically gab was talking about how Michael (sometimes ash) says insults to Luke that Luke is actually uncomfortable with, and it pisses her off Bc no one really notices it. Like the breadstick example when cal stood up for Luke and Michael preceded to call him it anyway. Just prime examples, it was much worse earlier tho. Like those twitcams where Michael treated Luke like absolute shit. Don't get me wrong, I love mikey to death but there's a fine line between 'teasing' and harassing. I know because i was in the same situation as Luke before where a friend degraded me and my appearance by subtle comments and interrupted my thoughts like mashton sometimes does to Luke if you pay attention. At first i thought it was messing around too but gab pointed out that whatever wen on between muke still affects them today. And they get along, but Luke does let Mikey step on him @ times don't kill me Michael my baby but Bish we know you jealous of cake #malum4thewin

OK I NEED TO GO BC THE OTHER SHIPS MAKE ME MAD SOMETIMES SAYIN CAKE IS TOO MAINSTREAM LIKE BISHHHH HE WANTS CALS PARENTS INITIALS ON HIS BODYY

(Try and watch the she's kinda hot announcement vid and Count how many times Luke looks at cal longer than nessesary) (which that song is my fucking life now ok, I'm so proud)

The Cake fandom is growing Tho, on YouTube there was a comment that said; 2014: she looks so perfect
2015: she's kinda hot tho
2016: eh, she's okay
2017: I think I'm gay
2018: muke is real

And then another comment that said; but luke doesn't have a girlfriend??

And the replies were killing me, like half of them were saying Bc im his girlfriends1!1! And the others; Bc he has Michael!! And i was like ewww no and then i saw like 50 Cake shippers say Bc he has cal and i was like YAAAAAS WE'RE DOING IT WE'RE TAKING OVER COMMENTS

i did a 800 word rant omfg im sorry guys but this has been bothering me.

COMMENT HERE IF U WANNA TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH CAKE IS REAL COMPARED TO THESE OTHER WANNABE SHIPS HA

{before i end this, know that you're allowed to ship whatever you like and you shouldn't feel ashamed of it. If you like muke and Cake, that's ok Bc i think having an Otp is beautiful, it helps you Believe in love easier, makes you see it a whole new way. Not trying to force anyone into anything, this is all for fun :))}

BUT CAKE STILL THE REALEST HAHA

ily all!,

~Destiny❤️❤️

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