Worth the Wait (Robert Downey , Jr. Fanfic)

CHAPTER 39 : I Think God Can Explain

Robert's POV

She's gone. I wasn't able to do anything to make her stay. I have hurt her. F*ck this feeling I have right now. I should've been so secured with my feelings with her. Why is this happening? I broke down in tears and sat on the hallway towards our room. I put my hands on my face and just continue to cry! I didn't expect that things will be this worst!

Jimmy just tap me on my shoulders and he ask me to talk inside the room instead.

"She was the best thing that ever happened to you Rob. What happened?"- Jimmy asking my side of the story.

I told Jimmy everything. He said I was a total idiot and let Nathalie slip away! He said that we need to do something to get her back. I told Jimmy we need to settle everything as soon as we get back to the U.S. Maybe I am just afraid of what is going to happen to the kids after the divorce. I've got to win her back!

--

Tonight, I sleep alone in our bedroom. I am missing Nathalie so much. I've got to make up my mind and be clear on everything. I need to be sure of myself. I don't want to hurt her anymore. I hope that she will accept and take me back. God! I really love her.

--

We flew back to the California the following day. While on the plane, I kept thinking about her. I tried to call her back but she is not answering the phone. Maybe she just need sometime. I just hope that this decision of ours will help us patch and fix things up.

I need to talk to Susan and arrange the custody of the kids. I will make sure that we have equal rights. I know that this could go nasty but I am willing to settle with Susan just for the sake of the kids. I don't know why I am feeling differently when I think of her. Oh no no no no!

"Stop it Robert! You are an idiot!" – I say to myself.

I arrive home in the evening. I told Jimmy that we have to be early tomorrow. He gave me an assuring and brotherly hug. I know that Jimmy will support me all the way.

I went upstairs and settled my luggage. This huge house is empty. I am alone, again. I already felt this before when I got divorced with my first wife. I promised myself that I will no longer be in the same situation ever when I met and married Susan, It was awesome and perfect! Well, I guess some good things never last.

I quickly got my night shower and changed into my PJs. I turn on my radio and decided to just listen to music while I am waiting for sleep to carry me away. I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling and adjusting my eyes in the dark. I slowly lit my night stand lamp. Suddenly, I heard this song. I recognized the song right away and as if the lyrics were speaking to me. I cried so hard while listening :

There's a lot of things I understand,
And there's a lot of things,
That I don't want to know.

But you're the only face,
I recognize, it's so damn sweet of you,
To look me in the eyes.

It's all right, I'm okay,
I think God can explain,
I believe I'm the same,
I get carried away

It's alright, I'm okay,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet

The scent of vaseline,
In the summertime,
The feel of an ice cube,
Melting over time

The world seems bigger

than both of us,
Yet it seems so small,
When I begin to cry.

I'ts all right, I'm okay,
I think God can explain,
I believe I'm the same,
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm okay,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet,

I'm so much better than you guessed,
I'm so much bigger than you guessed,
I'm so much brighter than you guessed.

It's all right, I'm okay,
I think God can explain,
I believe I'm the same,
I get carried away

It's alright, I'm okay,
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed,
I'll get over it yet,
I'll get off of your back,

I think God can explain.
I think God can explain.
I think God can explain.

-("I think God can explain" by Splender)-

--

I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep. I regret what I did yesterday. I don't know what stupidity came to me but I am really confused. I searched my heart and I am sure I really love Nathalie but another part of me feels like longing for Susan. After all, she is the mother of my little boy.

I need to settle everything and this is not going to be easy.