V (A BTS Fanfiction)

chApter 3

[BoNa]

I faintly remember.

Many eyes...

Staring with such a die-hard curiosity. 

Many eyes...

Staring with such hunger to grab all of the given ingredients and cook up a good rumor. A good rumor about BoNa the "mute girl" and the "Beautiful psychotic boy."  

Eyes...HIS eyes...that permanently burn a hole in my head. 

Two windows to his soul. Two cloud like pillow that made me feel like a decent human being instead of trash, instead of a worthless walking heap of waste, instead of a mute girl. Two black hole that draws me in and makes me not want to look away. Wanting to study it like how I stay up all night studying the black ceiling. 

Yes. I remember the whispering, but faintly only. The whispers rising up like fog. Whispers holding me at the neck with its strong hand, burning me in the mind to remember it. To remember every word it said but the only thing that remain strong and fresh in my head was his eyes. Just his eyes that continue to stare at me dearly even when I attacked him and left him. Left him with a bloody nose. 

Seconds after yelling out loud for the whole world to hear, he disappear without a trace only reappear minutes afterward with a ladder. Everyone has calmed and had all settle back into their seats when he showed up again. This time, closer and quieter. 

 "Psst." He hiss as he poke me with a tiny branch he got from the nearby tree. "I need you to believe me...I am not a psycho!" 

He now stood outside of the window, holding the window tightly in case he slips or something happens. 

If I ignore him, he will go away...if I ignore him, he-

"Youthinkthatyoucanjustgetridofmethateasily." He whisper, talking so fast that his words all seem to come out as one big word. "Even if you ignore me, I will keep going at it until you believe me....Just look at yourself in the mirror." 

I turn. Turn and then regretted it. His eyes. His eyes. His nose, His lips. His everything. Everything I want to study. Everything I want to explore. He IS everything. 

He must have notice it too. The way my eyes study over the shadows and highlights on his face so carefully. A smile. He gave me a soft smile, knowing very well, that I TRULY want to believe him. I TRULY do. I MADLY DEEPLY want to believe him but how? 

I turn to the front of the room, slightly catching a glimpse of Jungkook staring in my direction. The teacher had her back on us so the call was good. With a slight lean toward the window, I face him again to only have him lean in through the window more until we were breathing in each other's carbon dioxide. 

I'm sorry again...

My shaky hands reach out and took a hold of the ladder, pushing it with my all. His eyes widen with betrayal but it slowly switches to a glint of playfulness that confuse me even more than what we were learning right now. 

I quickly focus my gaze onto the board with a loud thud from the ladder hitting the ground following shortly afterward. No one paid it any attention. No one except for Jungkook who now stare at me with a new found fascination and a small sweet smile that any girl would die for. Our eyes met for a split second before he whip his head to the front, with me copying him. 

Ten minutes was left on the clock. Ten minutes left until I can get this empty classroom to myself. Until I can get time alone to think and clear my mind. 

Tick tock...eight minutes....five minutes...tick tock. One minute and thirty seconds left on the clock. Everyone's eyes on the clock, waiting for the break before next class starts. The bell rings and everyone rushes out. Everyone excepts for me.  Everyone except for my thoughts. 

I squirm in my seat until I was able to face the open window and with cautious movement, I peek over the window. My eyes grew the size of an egg. No, there was no dead body or crush ladder. There wasn't anything except for the freshly cut grass. 

Only then did I realize I have been holding my breath. With a sigh, I felt my chest rise and fall again as I lean back into my chair. Close my eyes and press my forehead against the cold desktop to suppress the growing pain. Then, I look up. Look up at the window reflecting an image of a girl. A girl without scar or bruise. A girl who was pain free. 

Now I understand. The restrain nervous laughter. The look of shock from them. I was perfectly fine as if I made it home safely yesterday. Without getting a single hair on my head touch by them. Not only that but old scars were gone. Any remaining mark of the past was erase as if those painful years were just a temporary dream. 

I want to curl up into a ball and cuddle myself out of this delusional state. I want to block out the memory of this morning. The thought of impossibility. But how can I when I already find myself believing in his word. His sweet words that I want nothing more than to just give in to and believe with all my heart again. 

My whole body shut down with the memory of the past flooding in. Jungkook's words that I believed in so solemnly. Words that I believe was to be true when all it was was empty promises made. Sobs were caught in my throat while my weak hands catch the raindrops that poured down my eyes. 

Then I remember. The note given to me. The note. The words written with effort but meaningless to the heart. The teardrops stop, the sobs disperse into thin air and my hands were working its way to open the note. There, sitting annoyingly in the middle of this note was three simple words. One two three simple words that meant nothing if not said directly to that person. Words that taunts me of how stupid I was. How stupid I am of wanting to believe the truth behind it when all there is was empty spaces between each line made. 

I am sorry...

"Sorry for what?" I hear my mind speak and feel the unfamiliarity on my tongue.