LONG LOST LOVER

Chapter 15

DANNIE'S P.O.V

Yes I've been speaking with Connor. Yes he's the only one who exactly knew what was happening to me. Among others who thought I was doing great here in Laredo, Connor knew how many times I've tried to cut myself because bad dreams didn't want to stop interrupting my horrible nights.

And then there's Toby.

"Dan...Dannie, is that you?"

I held my breath. "Hey."

"What happened? Why didn't call me?"

"You didn't answer."

He sighed deeply to my ears. Devastation. We were both devastated. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to. I thought you were...the guy..."

"Adam." I cut.

"Adam. That Adam guy, he's..."

I smiled. So I knew it. He got it wrong. In between his whisper that time when I ride off my bike away from him, the last time we met, he thought I was easily dating a stranger. Toby thought I was able to let all memory about him go and staying with Adam. Why I would even do that. You tell me. How I could even be able to do that? There was no such feeling or thoughts like that. That's why he stopped trying. But sad, by the time he stopped expecting me, it was the time I was dying wanting him to be here with me.

"He tried to rape me." I whispered. "He tried to rape me."

"W... What the hell?!"

Part of my brain really was ready to explode by now. I bit my nails. "I miss you. So much."

"Dannie... I'm truly sorry. So so sorry. I should've been there for you. I should've not..."

"It's okay Toby. Glad you find out the real thing now. My fault I didn't come clean."

"Oh my gosh..."

"It's hard...you know?" I spoke to this white ceiling above me, rested my pounding head. "I've somewhat cut."

"No please don't do that. Please I beg you. Please don't. He's no worthy. Dannie you have to listen to me. He's not gonna ruin you. No. You're too precious. We love you here. I love you."

A little bittersweet smile was framed at the corner of my pale lips. It's hard to believe some people were still being here for me after what I've gone through. I experienced the most disgusting thing in the whole world. These guys, they had a million reasons not to love me. But again, it's hard to stay around when you're even scared to open your window curtain.

"Dannie, you there?"

"Yeah." I blinked a tear. "How you guys doing in there?"

"Tour was packed. We have break before next step. I'm home now. Are you?"

"Same, I'm in my room."

"How's Laredo? Uh I mean in general." He fixed his own words, knew it was quite a wrong question.

"In general...well I don't want to live here. Still think so. I went to the regular public school. That's how it turned horribly."

"Did your parents force you?"

"They're more likely asking me to try that out. To give myself a shot. I've said no. But apparently it needed more proof before adults realize."

"I'm so sorry... I wish I could be there..."

"Tobs, has somebody else owned my house now?"

"It's for sale. A property guy just came and hung a board by the front door." He cleared his throat. "For real Dan, when will you come back? I can't take another day."

One question I could never find the answer. I really wish I could take a decision for my own good. But parents always know the greater good. I wasn't in my best shape to argue any further. I was lucky I've got to stay home now and just go back to do online school. This is my life but likely I have no power to own it. Alone. Just got one companion, that was their song Soldier which I put on repeat on the low volume through days and nights.

"Dannie? Honey, it's dinner time." Mom slowly knocked.

"Toby I should go. They would..."

"I know. I understand. Take care okay? I'll call you again tonight."

"Bye bye. Say hi to Connor."

"Bye..."

I immediately dropped my phone back down to my pillow and pretended to sleep. That's the exact time Mom came in. She put her hand on my forehead. Yes I had fever this morning because holding up so much pain in all over my body.

"Mom...?" I faked a sleepy groan.

"Let's have dinner." She kissed my forehead. "Can you walk?"

"Yeah. But it's cold outside."

Mom grabbed me my sweater and helped to walk. Dad was already on the dining table downstairs. Mom cooked my favorite, but I've lost my appetite.

"Sweetheart, how you feeling?" Dad asked.

"Better." I bowed politely.

"So...your Mom and I have talked about something..."

That. The same way as when they once told me we're moving out.  I hate that. World has done very good job ruining my life. I'm not down for another drama please.

"We will send you back to Orlando."

I choked. So hard. "WHAT?"

"We can't forever keep you here, darling. You're not going out. You're scared of sunshine. You're scared of the world now. We've spoken with your therapy. All you need is home." Dad rubbed my back.

"Not this home, apparently. That home, in Orlando." Mom swept her own tears. "We're taking you back baby."

"Oh my gosh..."

I dropped my fork and spoon off to the plate. Released the loudest happiest tears I've ever had in my life. Miracle. I would soon as possible have my life back. In Orlando. With the people I know wouldn't hurt me. With Toby.

"Thank you." I mouthed. "From the deepest part of my soul, thank you."

Mom cried just as hard as I did. We both shared a long hug. "You're welcome honey. We're so sorry for everything that has happened to you. We weren't good enough."

"You'll have therapy, with Doctor Morris in hospital every Tuesday and Saturday. That trauma you should get rid of. Will you?"

"I will do." I nodded hugging Dad so tightly. "I promise."

"Now start packing up your personal stuff. I'll check the available ticket after dinner." He winked.

I gained myself back. I ate the meal that once tasted plain in my mouth. It's colorful again. I've been stuck for so long in this spot, that was too dark, til I was scared of leaving.

But I'd be just one step closer to my colorful Orlando life. Again.

With him. Again.