My Boyfriend is Gay (Larry Stylinson)

~Fourteen~

LOUIS' POV

It's been two weeks since Harry talked to me. We don't hang out anymore. He's been avoiding me and it's pissing me off.

My girlfriend's been ignoring me since the kiss with Harry. When she said she needed time to
think, I never thought it would be this long. Honestly, it didn't bother me as much as it should've. Harry was the one on my mind.

I don't feel like doing anything since he stopped talking to me. I sing when it's time to sing since we're on tour but other than that, I just stay in my hotel room and wait.

What am I waiting for? I have no idea. Maybe I'm waiting to feel better. Maybe I'm waiting for that pain to disappear. Maybe I'm waiting for him to come back...

What kills me the most is that when we're on stage, everything's different. He doesn't ignore me and I feel like nothing changed. He looks at me, he sings with me and he even talks to me sometimes. I feel betrayed.

I don't even want to jump on stage anymore because when the show's over, this pain is even worse. I feel like on stage, it's all just a game. He wants everyone else to think we're alright, even though we're not.

"Okay Tommo now look at me, we need to talk" Liam said to me. We were chilling in my room with a beer. Since Harry left me, Liam stayed by my side everyday. I could tell he was worried.

"Bout what?" I said, keeping my eyes on the TV.

"This. You. I hate to see you like this and the Louis that we all know is gone" he said, turning the TV off.

"Sorry about that" I said, not caring.

"No! I don't want you to be sorry about that. I want you to just start feeling better. I want you to start laughing again. I want to prank people with you. I want to see that god damn smile on your face again. Don't you get it ?" he practically shouted at me and it surprised me. "Even when we're on stage, I feel like you're elsewhere! I feel like you're not even having fun even though we're literally living the dream!"

"Liam, I'm just sick of it" I snapped, not even looking at him.

"Sick of what?" he asked.

"This. All of this. It's too much for me. I don't feel like touring the world. I don't feel like going on stage every night, singing to screaming girls. I feel like having a normal life doing nothing. I feel like going back to Doncaster with my family. I'm not happy anymore" I yelled back.

"You're not happy? Think about how much you love to write songs. Think about the thrill of releasing a new album or just singing on stage. Think about the feeling of saving someone's life only with your lyrics" he said.

"God damn Liam I need to be selfish for once in my life. I need to start thinking about myself instead of thinking about everyone surrounding me. I'm not feeling well and I want it to stop" I said, standing up and trying to leave. He took my arm, keeping me from going away.

"Your job is not the reason why you're feeling that way! Harry is" he said, hurting me more than I needed to.

"Fuck you Liam" I yelled back, tears of anger filling my eyes.

"No Louis, I'm trying to help and you know it. I know that you're going through a rough time and you're associating your job with Harry but you love to do what you're doing so well" he said, holding my shoulders. "You love to sing. You love to write. You love to blow the roof of the stage. You love to help people with your music. Don't let Harry ruin that..."

"I don't think I'm strong enough" I said, not able to keep these tears from falling down.

"I'm just asking you to try Louis. If really this is all making you depressed, then I will totally respect your decision of stopping everything and quitting the band. But I need you to at least try. Try to fight these feelings and to be patient. Time will heal..." he said and seemed really sincere.

"I need a break Liam. It's too much to handle all at once for me..." I said, looking straight into his understanding eyes.

"We're in the middle of the tour Louis you can't just-"

"I'm in the middle of a break down" I cut him off. He didn't answer. He just stood up and wrapped his arms around me. I fell into his comforting arms and cried for about an hour.

Until I finally fell asleep.