My Boyfriend is Gay (Larry Stylinson)

~Sixteen~

HARRY'S POV

I rushed out of the stage as soon as I could. Everything felt so unreal. How could he announce his decision to everyone without even telling me? I'm part of the band and I deserved to know it before everyone else. I felt like these 4 lads were not my brothers anymore.

I sat down on the floor and broke down in tears. I couldn't handle this pain anymore. I was working so hard to fight my feelings for Louis and I thought that it as worth it. I was all wrong.

I should be the one quitting the band. I'm the one who's hurt. I'm the one who's depressed. I'm the one who got played by Louis.

Compared to him, I'm not a quitter. I'm a fighter. Going back home is far from being a solution, it'll only make things worse.

"H, are you okay?" Niall said, slowly walking towards me.

"Go away" I yelled. He wasn't the problem, but he was definitely a huge part of it.

"He has to go. I swear he isn't feeling well and he needs some time for himself or we're going to lose him for good and-"

"I don't fucking care if he leaves" I cut him off, lying. "You guys had no right to announce this shit without even telling me."

"You didn't know?" Niall asked, surprised.

"I had no fucking idea what was going on until Louis announced it! And you guys knew everything!" I screamed, trying to turn this pain into anger.

"I thought you knew... Louis told us that you were aware of his decision" he said.

"He never told me" I said, my voice breaking. He really wanted to destroy me.

"Listen, I'm sure he had a good reason not to tell you... I'm sorry..." he said, trying to reach for my arm.

"Where is he?" I asked, standing up as fast as I could. I needed to know that damn reason.

"I think he left. His things were all packed and his plane to London is booked for tonight" he uncomfortably answered. "Maybe he's still outside with Zayn but I'm not sure about that" I started running without even listening to the rest of his sentence. I had to see him.

I ran as fast as I could until I finally saw Zayn outside. He was alone.

"Where is Louis?" I yelled. I was out of breath but for some reason, I didn't even feel it. All I could feel was this gigantic weight on my chest. Pain. Always pain.

"Slow down Hazza. He's over there, the driver is picking him up in five" he said, having no idea what was going on.

I ran to where Zayn pointed and I instantly saw Louis waiting.

"Louis fucking Tomlinson" I said, running to him. Just seeing his face made me feel even more furious. He looked at me and I could see this scary look on his face. "You didn't even tell me? How could you do this to me?" I yelled, tears rushing down my face. I couldn't even control my face. This pain and anger were taking control over my body.

"Harry, please calm down" he said. "You're making it way too hard."

"I am the one making it hard? Who's fucking leaving?" I screamed even louder at him. "Who fucking announced to the world that he was leaving the band without even telling a member of this damn band first?" I was totally out of my mind.

"Harry you really need to calm down and stop to-"

"You stop!" I cut him off. "I'm always the one making sacrifices. It's your turn now! I'm done with this pain you're putting me through all the time! You're letting the band, the fans and myself down just cause you're too selfish to fucking try and learn to deal with these mistakes you've made. What pisses me off the most isn't even the fact that you're leaving. What's pissing me off is that you didn't even fucking tell me first! You announced it in front of everyone else! I had no fucking time to deal with it!"

"This is exactly why I did not want to tell you!" he screamed back at me, taking me by surprise. "I was expecting you to react this way. I was expecting you to make me feel bad about this and it's exactly what's happening! It's the hardest decision I've made in my whole life and I was scared that you were going to make this even harder. I was totally right" Tears started running down his face. He deserved to finally feel some pain. It didn't even affect me... "I need to leave it's all killing me. I will come back but I need this time apart cause you're able to act like it's all good in front of people but I'm not. It's too much for me to handle and I need some time to deal with it. I'm sorry that I did not tell you but I wanted it to be easier. Yes I'm selfish, but that's what's keeping me from drowning at the moment because it's all way too hard to handle"

His words hit me like a brick. I could feel the sincerity and the pain behind them. I knew that he was depressed and that everything hurt him more than it seemed. I was speechless and for some reason, I thought that the smartest thing to say was absolutely nothing.

There was nothing to add to this pain and anger that I felt. Nothing to add to this sadness that he felt.

I wish silence could heal everything.

He looked at me, tears still filling his eyes. Our eyes locked for a long minute until his driver arrived. He took a deep breath, turned around and sat in the car. I wish I could've stopped him from leaving even though I knew that it wasn't a good idea. I watched him leave as tears started filling my eyes again.

That's when I felt his own sadness making its way into my body.