the city

8/7/15

Why did I say that?
Why am I so stupid?
Did I really have to say it?
Why why why why did I do that?

I'm sorry
It just slipped out.
"Do you think I like you?"
No, and I didn't like you either.

Please don't shout,
I have problems with that.
Please don't make scenes,
I've done that enough times.

I've apologized,
and I plan on apologizing again.
I know you trusted me,
but why?

I mean,
you never really liked me, right?
Why did you tell me?
Why did you think I could be trusted?

I can't properly explain to you why I did it,
because I don' t want to open up, especially to you.
So I guess you can blame me, ruin me, make people hate me.

I'm afraid of you yes,
and what this can do to me.
But at the same time,
I'm safer without friends than with you holding my secrets.

I told yours,
who's to say you won't spread mine?
Like wildfire, your word goes round,
I've heard, and sometimes, I believed.

I'm sorry, once again,
for slipping and not thinking and being stupid and being careless.
I destroy things,
but I do not know how I do it.

For the third time,
I'm sorry.
I'm not sure if you'll talk to me again,
but my conscience is clean.