The Things I Would Do For You

☥Chapter Seventeen☥

Fear will pass, but regret will last forever -Unknown ☼

-Nyzra (Taj) in the MM ☼

Jahmiah,

Kendrick and Bakari left and my parents got lazy and never came by- neither did Harper. I didn't really care, only because I was exhausted from Kendrick doing petty shit for a few hours.

Right now, I was drinking my 4th bottle of beer. Never did I once consume this much of this drink before- I got a bit drunk, but I shrugged it off.

I felt the bed shift a little, seeing Taj wake up, "Hey" She smiled

"What?"

She frowned, "Um... Alright?"

"Why you up?"

"Why can't I wake up, Jahmiah? Why are you so snappy?" She sighed, trying to wrap her arms around me

I removed them from my body, "Don't touch me"

"What did I do?"

"Just be quiet for a minute" I said

"But, Jahmiah-"

"Dammit, Nyzra, just shut the fuck up!" I shouted "Shit.." I rubbed my temples

"I-I'm sorry" She stuttered "Am I stressing you out?"

"What do you mean?" I groaned

"Like, all this," She bit her lip "Does it stress you out?"

"Just shut the fuck up, please" I breathed, rubbing my hands over my face

"Okay" She mumbled

"What I say, huh?" I arched my eyebrow "I said for you to shut the fuck up, and you wanna keep addin' on shit" I shouted

"Jahmiah, I'm sorry" She sunk in her spot

"You've been sayin' that too damn much, and it's givin' me a fuckin' headache! I'm sorry this, I'm sorry that- bitch, get out my face" I smacked my lips

"Why are you talking to me like this?! What the hell did I even do?!" She screamed

I took a big sip out of my beer bottle- pushing her, and she fell on the floor, hitting her head on the night stand.

"You wanna act fuckin' dumb with me right now?! You go to bed, knowin' damn well it's your damn fault the baby's dead. You wanna be so fuckin' stupid, and run away like a gotdamn child- and that's why ours is gone. It's because of you. That's what the fuck you did- so don't act like a dumb bitch around me"

Tears started to drip from her eyes and at that moment, I sobered my ass up real quick.

"Okay," She wiped her face "I guess you're right"

"Baby-"

"I'll just leave" She managed to stand up and getting her crutches from the side of the bed

"Nzyra, baby I-" I tried grabbing her arm

She moved away from me, going to get her suitcase.

"Please don't do go, lets work this out-"

"No"

"Babygirl, please just stay. I don't want you to leave again- I'm sorry"

~○~

I sat at the bar, tapping my fingers on the counter. There was no one here except the middle aged bartender, and the entire room smelled like weed- since I'm smoking it. The TV was on the sports channel and I'm over here, staring at my phone, hoping Taj would reply back.

It's been a week and I've been miserable. I shouldn't have drunk that beer because I knew I was going to over do it- but I kept on, not caring at all.

I miss her, I really do. She had a nigga turn soft out of the blue and it changed me completely. But now, since she's gone, I went back to who I used to be. A nigga who smoked a ton of weed everyday, being rude to everyone, ignoring people, killing people who were trying to come up in my apartment to kill me- I was just different. And the only way I can change it is if I have Taj with me again.

I was just a horrible wreck wandering the streets, all because my drunken mouth had to open. I knew my words cut her deep and I knew it broke her heart- I feel terrible. But what hurt me the most was how she looked. She looked afraid and depressed and all she wanted to be was happy.

I ruined that.

Seeing my mom call, I declined it- inhaling my blunt a few more times. Pops called, Zahlani called, Harper called, Kendrick called, Hanson called, Bakari called- every fucking one of them did, except one person who I wanted to talk to the most.

Getting up from the chair, I paid my little fee and left. My heart pounded in a certain rhythm, matching all the commotion going on around me. Beeping cars, tires screeching, wind blowing, people talking- all tied into my heartbeat as I walked down the sidewalk of downtown in the night.

"Hey, you seem pretty lonely, baby" A girl walked up to me

My eyes examined her outfit. She wore a short bodycon black dress, and it was see through, but covered her private areas only- except her ass. She had on dull point stilettos and her red hair was bone straight- her face with medium amount of make up on her light skin. Her body was nice, curvy with a thin stomach.

"Would you like some company?" She bit her lip

"I'm straight, thank you" I replied

"You sure?" She's touched my chest. I licked my lips, feeling her hand rub me through my jeans. I groaned "Just give me 10 minutes, that's it"

I cleared my throat, "Nah, I think I'm good. Like I said, thank you"

She shrugged, "Okay, but if you need me, just give me a ring" She kissed my cheek

She handed me a card with her name and number, walking away. I ripped it up, throwing it in the trash can.

As much as I'm tempted to have sex with multiple girls out here at night, I choose not to. It'll only lead me to trouble.

Walking in my apartment, I took off my jacket and the rest of my clothes- leaving myself in boxers.

Hearing my phone ring, I just decided to answer it.

"Yes mom?"

"Baby what's wrong?" She asked

"Nothin'" I twisted my lips, going in the kitchen

I took out some double stuffed Oreos and some Mountain Dew.

"Then why are you declining my calls? What's going on? Did something happen?"

"I'm busy for one, two, nothing and three, no"

"He sounds blunt, babe. He never sounds that way" I heard her speak to Pops

I hung up the phone, turning it off for the rest of the night. Hearing my doorbell ring, I growled lowly and threw on some sweatpants. Looking out the peephole, I sighed.

"What do y'all want?"

Hanson and Harper held up snacks and drinks with smiles, walking in.