Shall We Dance - A Steggy Fanfiction

Twelve

Steve's PoV

"He's not you!"

Upon hearing these words, he stopped swaying and looked down at her. He must have heard her incorrectly. He knew she loved Scott and that he, Steve Rogers, was a thing of the past. She had basically told him that, so he must be wrong, right? His brain had been playing horrible tricks on him since the ice, so this was probably one of them. Or at least Steve thought it was until the look on Peggy's face confirmed that he had, in fact, heard her correctly.

She moved away from him, letting go of his shoulders and breaking free of his loose hold on her waist. The Captain was frozen in shock as he watched Peggy come to terms with what she had said. She covered her mouth in horror, her eyes screaming in pain, as he stood there, completely helpless. He wanted to move, to help her, but his body wouldn't comply. It was as if his brain had lost the signal to the rest of his body, leaving him almost paralysed with shock. Peggy squeezed her eyes shut, putting her face in her hands, making Steve's heart ache.

He should be happy. He should be celebrating the fact that his best girl loves him even more than her fiancé, but he can't. He won't. He was not that kind of man and never would be. He was brought up to be respectful, to be a gentleman and that didn't stop just because the war ended.

Steve could see the hurt that this realisation was causing Peggy and all he wanted to do was take it away. He wanted to comfort her, to hold her tight and let her cry if she needed. He wanted to make her pain go away. He felt his body reacting again as he finally found himself moving closer to to her. He reached out and touched her arm, expecting her to step towards him, but instead she flinched away from him. She looked at him with a pained expression as he let his arm drop. He didn't know what to think. All he knew was that Peggy was hurting and he couldn't help, making his heart break a little more.

Peggy shook her head, backing away from him again. She didn't want him. She didn't want his help. She wanted Scott. She loved Scott and Steve didn't want to get in the way of that. Not ever. He wasn't going to ruin her life. That was never the plan. He needed to tell her that before the night ended. She needed to know that he was okay as long as she was happy. He wouldn't cause any trouble. He wouldn't let himself be the reason why she was hurt, not anymore. He took a deep breath, tears stinging the back of his eyes as he worked himself up to set her free of the prison that was their history.

He took a step closer, his eyes filling with tears that he wouldn't let fall.

"Peggy," he said softly, pausing to decide where to start. Before he could continue, he saw Peggy shake her head again, stopping him.

Tears fell down Peggy's face as Steve opened his mouth to say something, anything, but before he could she rushed away. He needed to tell her so that she could move on properly, so that she could say goodbye. He followed her as she made her way to the door, moving past couples, apologising as he bumped into them.

When she reached the door, she pushed it open, causing Steve to panick. He couldn't lose her now, not when he needed to talk to her.

"Peggy! Wait!" He called after her, pleading with her to stop.

She didn't stop. She kept going, running to the right and out of Steve's sight.

When Steve finally made it to the door, he hurried outside after her. The freezing rain was crashing down with incredible force, soaking him to the skin within seconds. He didn't care. He had to find Peggy.

He ran to the right, trying to shield his eyes from the rain as he went. He could barely see in front of him. He almost lost hope of finding her, when he caught sight of her red dress. Steve sprinted to her side, making it there in no time at all.

He put his hand on her shoulder to catch her attention, instantly realising his mistake. She whipped around, giving him a murderous look as he held up his hands in surrender.

It was now or never. He ran a hand through his drenched hair, pushing it out of his eyes as he opened his mouth to talk, but Peggy stopped him.

"Steve, I- I can't do this to Scott," she said, loud enough so that he could hear her over the sound of the rain. "I can't hurt either of you anymore. I won't." Tears formed in her eyes once again. "I'm sorry. Please," she almost whispered, tears pouring down her cheeks. "Please, Steve. Just let me go."

He had so much that he wanted to say and he still hadn't gotten the chance. He felt the tears that he had tried so hard to hold back finally fall down his face. He didn't move to wipe them away, he just let them fall.

Peggy turned away from him and started walking down the street again. It seemed that almost every time she walked away from him, he was left with something broken, be it a bone or, more often, his heart. This time, however, he at least didn't want a broken friendship.

He ran to catch up to her, stopping right in front of her, blocking her path.

"Peggy, please listen."

"Steve, I-" she started protesting.

"Peggy, please just let me say this and then I'll go," he said, holding his hands up to stop her. When she didn't respond he continued. "There was a time during the war that we were meant to be. Agent Carter and Captain America against the world. It was stuff that dreams were made of. Nothin' could stop us. Nothin' could break us. Nothin' could separate us. That was until we went up against Schmidt that last time and I crashed into the ice, leavin' you behind to pick up the pieces. I am so so sorry that I left you," he said, his voice cracking slightly on the last sentence. He tried to swallow the lump at the back of his throat, but it wouldn't budge. "We lost each other, but we won the war. And you kept livin' Peg, like you knew I wanted you to. You have no idea how proud I am of you. You did somethin' I woulda never been able to do; you picked yourself up and kept goin'. I am so happy for you and Woods. You deserve the best and you've found it in him," he said, smiling sadly at her, watching as tears fell down her face, his eyes blurred with his own tears. "My comin' back shouldn't ruin the new life you started for yourself. And it won't. People change, Peg, and I think we both have in ways that neither of us can explain. So maybe it's best that we're just friends, 'cause I want that Peggy. I really do." He cleared his throat as the lump grew bigger. "So, you go home and tomorrow go to Sergeant Woods. Tell him how much you love him and remind him how lucky he is." Tears started the spill down his face, one by one. Peggy covered her mouth with her hands as he continued. "I want you to go and live your life, Peggy. Not the one in the war. This one," he said motioning around him. "The one that you've built for yourself, 'cause there is no way in hell I'm lettin' you tear it down now. Not for me."

Tears flowed down Peggy's face as she rushed towards Steve. She wrapped her arms around his chest, pulling him into a tight hug. He kissed the top of her head, hugging her back, before moving his head so his lips were beside her ear.

"You'll always be my best girl, Peggy," he whispered, as she sobbed into his chest. Tears ran down his face, mixing with rain. "Always have been. Always will be. Nothing will ever change that."

They stayed like that, hugging in the rain, saying goodbye to their history as they cried. He felt her lips on his cheek briefly, before she pulled away. She smiled but at him, eyes glistening with tears. She mouthed "thank you", not trusting herself to say it without crying again. Steve smiled back, not wanting her to leave, his heart aching in his chest.

She stepped away from him, and he felt what was left of his heart smash to pieces.

"Goodbye Steve," she said, with a sad smile as she started to walk away.

"Goodbye Peggy," he managed to get out, as he watched her go with new tears in his eyes.