Forbidden: A Downton Abbey Fanfic

The Aftermath

*LOOOONG Author's Note* Hellooo everyone, I just wanted to say thanks for the comments on the last chapter and yes I know I am a horrible person but this is Downton so....DRAMA. But anyways, I wanted to let you know that this may be one of the last chapters of this fanfiction. I have really enjoyed writing it, and seeing your responses really gave me inspiration to keep it going. However, it is still the 1950s so again, I can't have them actually get married or anything so it may be coming to an end. I may do a modern day spinoff for them, but we'll just have to see. Thank you again so much.

"Danny stop, it's not worth it." Jimmy reached for Daniel's shoulder, only to be met with air. "Thomas, stop him, will you?"

Danny looked over at Thomas for some sign to tell him to stop, but no such look was shown on his face. He took this as confirmation for him to continue. Daniel ran into would be barren road, if not for the unfortunate figure in the middle. He placed his hands under her small body and lifted her up. Slowly, he approached the edge of the street and their eyes connected, a sad meaningful stare. A moment passed between the two men, one of sadness and at the same time, an understanding and caring silence.

Thomas calmly took the girl from Daniel's arms. "Annabelle..." Her lifeless body seemed even smaller in his arms as he cradled her. Her hands were clutched tightly around something. His fingers separated the smaller ones and saw the yellow chick snuggled against her palm. Such an innocent animal, endangered the life of an equally innocent child. Neither touched by the impurities of life... How unfair, why had the universe dealt him this cruel hand.

"Thomas, do you want a moment alone?" Blodwen looked towards the heartbroken man. He nodded, but as they left he called out to them.

"Wait..." The trio turned, stopped in their tracks. "Danny can you stay...please."
The others returned to their house, leaving Thomas and Daniel alone with Annabelle. When they were positive that it was only him and Danny, he set his poor niece against the tree and collapsed onto his boyfriend in a heap of tears. "Its not fair, Danny. Why, why does everything have to be so difficult? Everything I do, my entire life is simply one horrible tragedy after another." He paused and thought, "No, I completely deserve this. I have been evil, cruel, done things that I am not proud of. I do not deserve happiness, and I certainly do not deserve you." He attempted to stand up, away from him however, the younger man was having none of this. Danny pulled him into his chest and stroked his cheek with his gentle fingers. He reached behind Thomas' head, pressing his lips to his head.

"Thomas..." Danny whispered, voice soothing. "I don't know why the world is so nasty, nor why a wonderful human being, such as yourself has been given so large a portion of disasters. But listen to me Thomas, if you dwell on the past, you will never be able to move to the future. Clichés, aside... Thomas, I want a future with you."
At this point, neither cared about the dangers of their relationship, they just needed each other. "Come on, Thomas, let's take care of Annabelle, one last time."

The two picked up his frail niece and brought her to the morgue, where they were granted a last farewell. And so ended another traumatic day, although it would not be the last.

*A week after the funeral, Downton.

"Thomas, dear, I know it's hard but its time to get up. We have to get to work." Daniel walked into his room and shut the door behind him. "Thomas, please,"

He refused to budge, which was understandable, considering everything he had been through. Thomas stayed put in the bed and Daniel left to inform Carson that he had taken ill. Of course, that wasn't entirely false, Mr. Barrow was not himself. He had fallen into a slump, his movements were slow and less precise than normal. It was not like him, not at all.

He stood from the bed as Danny returned to the room. "Thomas, you're up?" Daniel looked over at the older man, who was now dirty and a thin layer of scruff covered his chin. "Thomas, you should get cleaned up." Daniel gave him a sympathetic smile as he ran a hand down his face. He just nodded and made his way to the servant bathroom to clean.

Once out of the bathroom, his appearance had improved, but his demeanor had not.
Danny was the first to see him once he was dressed and that was when he decided to bring up the issue.

"Thomas, you really should talk about this." Daniel reached out to touch his hand but was pushed away.

"I'm absolutely fine, I don't need to talk to you about anything." Thomas snapped and glared at his young Irish counterpart. Danny was hurt, but he continued to attempt conversation anyways.

"But Thomas, I just wanted to see if you were okay..." Daniel put out a hand for him to take, but was refused again.

"Thomas this, Thomas that! Daniel leave me alone for two minutes, I never have a second to myself any more! It is almost as if you think I could not handle myself before. Believe me I was just fine without you!" These bitter words were acid to Danny's heart, but Thomas either didn't care or didn't notice because he continued to spit out sentences at Danny. "And no I am not okay, I had to bury my four year-old niece yesterday, so I am upset. There's nothing you could say or do to make me feel "better" so just go."

Tears stung the corners of Danny's eyes. "I loved her too Thomas, and I love you. I love you so much more than you could ever imagine! And yes, I know that you loved your niece and that she can never come back, but I thought I would be enough. Its hard Thomas it truly is...I know."

"How Daniel, how could you possibly understand the pain I feel?" Almost immediately his venomous words took effect on Danny.

"How dare you?" Was all Daniel said before walking away from the under-butler, and down the hall and into his own bedroom.
It only took that response from Danny to shock Thomas out of his mournful stupor. "What have I done?" He made a mad dash for Daniel's room, only to hear a soft sobbing sound from the other side of the door. How could he be so blind, so stupid? He had said the only thing that could drive him away. He was the only one that truly understood Thomas, he loved him, and Thomas loved him back. After the duke, he had never dared believe a love like his was feasible. But here he was, he had the most perfect wonderful thing that some could only dream of. Ruined, destroyed by Thomas' own selfishness.

Of course the situation he was in was sad, awful in fact, but how dare he say that to Daniel? If anyone were to understand what he was going through, it would be Daniel. He had experienced the loss of not one, but two important people in his life, his parents. And despite how hateful his own parents could be, he couldn't imagine being without them. It wasn't as if Thomas were a young child either, if he lost his parents, then he was at least old enough to process the situation. At the time of their passing, all he could process was that they were gone. Passing...what an absolutely idiotic way to describe death. The entire word makes it seem as though people were going to return, but that is simply not death. Death is death...it's the end of a life, a horrible event bound to us from the day we are born. He was pulled out of his thoughts when suddenly the door squeaked open; and revealed a bleary eyed Daniel, cheeks slightly reddened from crying.

"What do you want?" He said, halfway between a sob and a yell.

"Can we...talk?" Thomas asked, gesturing to his room.

"I don't think that would help." Daniel said, as he started to shut his door. Thomas placed his foot between the door and the doorframe.

"Please." He said, prying the door open.

"Alright..." Daniel sighed as he looked up to see that he was genuinely sorry and opened the door. He entered the room quietly and shut the door behind him. "Thomas..." Before he could go on, Thomas pressed a finger to his lips.

"Before you say one more word, just let me say how sorry I am. Daniel, you are truly irreplaceable. I have taken advantage of your kindness and for that I apologize. How dare I assume you know nothing of loss, when you have lost so much? You have no idea how much I care for you. The last few days have been difficult, but they do not even compare to the time that you went missing. That was when I realized that I could not live without you. I am so incredibly sorry, Daniel. If you did not accept my apology, it would be completely understandable, after all of the things I said and... I love you, Danny. " Thomas finished and he felt a hand on his own.

"I love you too." Daniel brought a hand to his cheek and kissed him lightly.
Thomas wrapped his arms around Daniel protectively, leaving kisses on his face and hands wandering over his back muscles. Then, he was quiet.

"Barrow, are you plotting something?" Danny looked at the man before him suspiciously.

"Oh, its nothing." He replied, although clearly lying.

"Thomas, I can see your devious mind at work. What are you thinking of?"

"It's a plan of sorts. Just an idea."

"Okay, tell me."

"I think we should move to America..." Thomas blurted out.

"W-what?" Danny's question came out as a stutter.

"I said, I think we should move to America."

"Thomas, maybe you better lie down, I think you're getting a bit dizzy. You aren't thinking clear."

"No, Danny, I'm serious."

"Thomas, isn't this all just a bit too soon?"

"Danny, I'm 38 years old... I am certainly not getting any younger, and what chance do we have here?" There was a knock at the door and Thomas snapped back into reality. "Go get the door." His voice was a whisper.

Daniel cracked the door open slightly. "Yes?" It was only Daisy.

"Oh, hello Dah-niel, I heard someone yelling. I just wanted to see if you were alright." She smiled as he opened his mouth to speak, as if whatever he said was gold.

"Well thank you Daisy, but I'm fine. It was just a misunderstanding, but everything is sorted out now. It was very sweet of you to think of me though." Daniel gave her a friendly smile, as he gives most people. At this, she blushed profusely, mumbling her goodbyes and hurrying away. Daniel proceeded to shut the door and turn to Thomas. "How do you propose we get there?"

"Well we could save up and I have money stashed away so it wouldn't take long, or..."

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I'm saying yes, let's go to America."

PS. Hannah you better give me back my discs still, even though Annabelle is dead. Thank you