*Ricky's POV*
Finally, it's our last show of the tour. Don't get me wrong I love touring, it's just that I'm really excited to go home to my own bed. Noah and I have been getting really close this past week. I'm still sleeping in Chris's bunk, though. Matthew seems to hate me, and I have no clue why. Right now, I'm sitting in Chris's bunk, his head on my lap, and his arms around my legs. He sighed as I ran my fingers through his hair. This has become a regular thing. He's been very upset for the past two weeks, shows are the only thing that makes him feel better, but that never lasts long. It breaks my heart to see him like this and not be able to help. He said laying with me makes him feel somewhat better, though, so we sit like this a lot. I don't mind, I love lying with him.
"Ricky," he sighed. "I'm thinking about getting back with Miranda." I felt my heart drop.
"Why?" I whispered.
"Last week she asked me to get back together. We talked and I decided why not give it another shot?" I nodded, suddenly not in the mood for talking. Why is he really thinking about that bitch? I don't buy his bullshit story after they broke up, he hated her. Or... Did he? Maybe he just pretended to hate her as a way of hiding his heartbreak. I felt my throat swell at the thought of them together.
"I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom," I told him as I stood up. When I got in there, I locked the door and sat on the floor, pulling my knees to my chest. I wasn't going to cry over him and that slut, I just need a minute to get my shit together. I wiped my face a few times before sighing and untangling myself. When I got back, he was texting someone.
Probably his whore.
Dammit, Ricky! Why can't you just be fucking happy for your friend and focus on Noah?
I got back in the bunk without saying a word. Half an hour went by before we talked again.
"How'd you know you were into guys?" I gave him a strange look, not expecting him to ask that out of the blue. "Well?"
"Uh, it was in ninth grade..."
*flashback*
"Ricky? Why are you calling me at two in the morning?" He groaned.
"I-I'm sorry. I'm just really confused and worried and I need to talk and-" He cut me off with a sigh.
"I'll be right over." He hung up, and I dropped my head into my hands with a groan. God dammit. School will just get worse now! I already get made fun of for being shy and wearing black, but now there's this too! I'll be the joke of the school! I jumped when I felt a hand on my back.
"What's wrong?" He asked sitting cross-legged in front of me. My cheeks heated up in embarrassment. He looked annoyed. I shouldn't have called him, he'll just make fun of me too. We're not even close or anything. "Ricky?" I looked up.
"I-I had Molly over today, and she... She wanted to have sex."
"And? I'm not seeing an issue." He was clearly aggravated with me.
"Nothing happened. I couldn't- I didn't get turned on. She kept trying, but nothing happened. She laughed at me, told me I was pathetic and she'd tell everyone." His eyes no longer held annoyance, but compassion. "Josh... I-I think... I think I might be gay." I whispered.
"You think?" I nodded. He took a deep breath. "Then test it." My face scrunched up in confusion, making him roll his eyes. "Kiss me and see if you like it. It doesn't have to be awkward after. I don't think I like guys but you don't know till you try." He shrugged.
"Are you sure?" He nodded. Taking a deep breath, I uncurled and moved in front of him, putting my legs around his waist. I placed my hands on his cheeks, his going to my hips, ad we stared at each other for a while, both of us nervous. Our lips touched, making us relax a little. Slowly, we began to move them together. He hesitatingly slid his tongue over my bottom lip, making me open my mouth. I moaned quietly when his tongue brushed mine. This was different than kissing Molly, it didn't feel weird, I didn't dread it. It felt... good, and it turned me on. One thing led to another, and I ended up losing my virginity to someone who, at the time, was barely considered my friend.
*flashback over*
"Holy- You a- really? You lost your virginity to Balz? That's why you're so close, isn't it?"
"That's how we became close, not why we are." I blushed.
"I knew it. No guy is that close with another guy. Did you ever date?" I shook my head.
"We don't have any romantic feeling for each other, we never did, it was just sexual." I felt him nod. "Why'd you ask?" I furrowed my eyebrows. He shrugged.
"Just curious?" It sounded more like a question than an answer. I snorted.
"Come on Chris, you didn't even believe that." He laughed a little, causing me to smile.
"Okay, fine. I think I'm bisexual, but I'm not really sure yet. I was too scared to take it passed a kiss." Wait, what?
