May Death Never Stop You | Frerard AU

"Why Did I Drink?"

"Out the window!" Frank said, rolling down Gerard's window and letting him so tick his head out of it. "Don't get it on the side of my  car!"

Gerard raised his head, looking back at Frank in hand driver's seat. "I'm throwing up! Just keep driving and stop bitching!"

Frank rolled his eyes. "There's a potho - oh well."

Gerard grunted, bringing his body back into the passenger seat. "Dammit."

Frank stopped at the red light, looking over at the black haired boy. "How're you feeling?"

"Like absolute shit. I'm never doing that again. Why'd I do that? Shit, Frankie," Gerard said, rubbing his forehead.

"We'll get to my house and hope that my aunt is asleep. If she's not, she'll think we're screwing."

Gerard grunted. "Not against that. God why did I drink?"

- - -

"I'm sorry," Gerard's voice was muffled under Frank's sheets. He looked in front of him at Frank.

"Why?" Frank opened his eyes. They had just gotten into bed after his aunt asked him about protection and lube.

"I know you don't like it when I drink. Fuck, I know you hate it. It's just like...if I see booze then it's like I feel obligated to drink it, you know?" Gerard's voice was growing softer. Frank ran a hand through Gerard's hair.

"Just know that you never have to feel obligated to do anything that you know will hurt you. No guilt trip or anything. We're gonna make sure you have a reason to not drink instead of a reason to drink, alright?"

Gerard looked at Frank. "I feel like we're already on that road."

- - -

"Hey Frank," Gerard's voice asked the next morning. Frank rolled around, slowly opening his eyes.

"Hey," he said groggily. It was still dark outside, probably some God forsaken hour like six a.m.

"I have a stomachache."

"Um, there's a trash can right by your side and," Frank reached blindly over to his nightstand, grabbing a container, "hers some Tums so you can eat some of those. Try to not puke on me."

"Got it, got it," Gerard said, grabbing the Tums container. He popped a few into his mouth, laying back and looking at Frank. "Frank, what if I don't get better?"

"Get better?"

"I'm basically sick. I mean, what if I always run go vodka and what if I'm always a wreck?"

Frank paused a moment before answering. "The only way you won't get better is if you don't think you will. Other than that, I know you'll get better."

"That's what Hallmark movies say," Gerard laughed quietly.

"Then call me a Hallmark movie."

"Why are you helping me?"

"Because you don't deserve to be sad."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because you don't think that anyone could wanna actually help you. You deserve happiness," Frank said, placing a kiss on Gerard's forehead. Gerard tapped his fingers on the bed.

"I'm sorry for getting drunk, man, I'm so sorry. I just - it's just become such an outlet. Like, 'Oh, I got a bad grade? Drink.' And it's become a normal thing and it's always been fine because Mom really dismisses it and I just tell Mikey to fuck off half of the time, but - but it hurts me now because it's hurting you." Gerard paused for a second, because he could cry in front of Frank again. "And...and I don't wanna hurt you. I've been hurting people for too long, Frank."

Frank pushed Gerard's black hair out of his face. "The thing about people getting hurt...is that they can heal. And you don't have to hurt your family anymore because Gerard I know you and that's not what you wanna do."

They were whispering now. Gerard hadn't been this close to someone in a long time. Well, emotionally, because he got guys to suck him off every once in a while and that's pretty close. But he felt good for once in years because he didn't care if Frank knew the dirty parts about him, the parts he didn't want his mom or Mikey to see.

He didn't want to hurt anyone, like Frank said. His dad had already left and that left him, well, the way that he was. He wasn't so sure if he actually liked alcohol at this point, he just felt like he needed to have it to cope. Because therapy sessions with his mother weren't his thing. He could put up with therapy sessions from a Frank, though.

And then he was crying into Franks chest.

"I - I don't wanna hurt anymore Frankie," his sobs were quiet because he didn't want Frank's aunt or uncle rushing in and seeing the scene. "I don't wanna hurt anyone anymore."

"I know you don't, don't worry," Frank whispered, wrapping his arms around Gerard. "If it makes you feel better, you're  not hurting me."

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a/n : major writer's block has been around and idk why. anyways, i start school next monday (8/24) and so updates might be coming slower, but don't worry, i'll try my best to update !! but hey, high school gives mercy to no one. also, psa, neck deep's new album is so good.

- ash