Run Away; C.R

(ten)

riley:

"i think we should talk.." i say softly, setting myself up on a wobbly stool as well. he sets his phone down in all seriousness, and looks at me so sweetly that i almost loose it all and fall in puddles to the ground, but i don't.

"i think we should too." he says, not looking nervous or timid like i am. "so.."

"what you said to me... a few days ago, remember?" i ask, picking shakily at my fingernails in a nervous habit.

"yeah, i remember." he says simply.

"you said you like me."

he leaned his head back and closed his eyes "fuck, riley.. because i do."

i was taken by surprise at his strange openness towards the subject, not shameful or embarrassed about a thing.

"but listen, i don't want your fake pity about it. if you don't like me, i totally get it. i'm an asshole, and there's nothing i can do to change that, but believe me, i do like you. a lot, actually." he confesses, and i swear i can't feel a single limb, muscle, or tendon in my body because everything just goes numb. i suck in a breath, there are many ways this could go, so which do i choose?

chandler isn't a bad person, but he also isn't a nice one either. he's the type of guy my parents would never approve of, but they aren't a factor in this anymore. chandler makes me happy, but he also makes me angry. my plan was not to come here, my first of many destinations, and immediately gain such feelings for another person. my plan was to be alone and content with myself as I traveled anywhere i wanted and did anything i wanted, but my stupid heart was getting in the way of that. i shouldn't have stayed, but it's too late now. i care about em, chandler, matt, cage, and even brandon too much to leave now.

"are you going to say anything?" chandler's sweet voice broke me from my pondering thoughts, forcing me to deal with the problem in front of me.

"i don't really know..." i say honestly.

"well it's easy. how do you feel?"

"chandler-" he cuts me off.

"like i said, don't pity me. if you don't like me, say it. i'll be fine." he says, but not rudely.

"that's the problem, chandler!! i don't have one clue on what the hell i'm feeling because i've never felt it before. and i don't know what to do about it!" i say, reaching such a loud volume that my voice begins to crack.

"you don't have to know, riley!" he shouts back. "you just have to feel.."

"but i can't--" i was going to say more, but i was stopped abruptly and suddenly by something soft touching my lips gently. my eyes widened in shock, but soon fluttered closed as i decided to kiss back. chandler's fingertips carefully held my chin up as our lips moved in sync, and then i knew exactly what he meant. because the feeling that exploded throughout my chest during this moment told me exactly what to do, it only took a little push.

much to my dismay, his throbbing lips slowly part from mine, but he doesn't back away. his fingers still touch my skin, and his lovely eyes meet mine.